My wife has a definite mood change if I am not locked up. She will tolerate it for a few days but after that she’s pretty much telling me to put the cage on. This last period of freedom was almost a month, and in her words, it was “horrible”. ... And I thought I was doing a decent job of behaving myself. Apparently, not. How does your KH react if and when you are free?
Apparently I get a little mouthy. I really don't notice it but she does. She will call me out on it, and say I need to go put my cage back on.
Is that maybe because you resent her not insisting you wear it? You feel your not getting her attention when your unlocked?
I get a little more bratty when unlocked, little more apt to argue about silly things. But it was an unexpected month-long free period where, after my wife *realized* I was free for a month she demanded I wear the cage unless she explicitly gives me permission otherwise. She much prefers me locked up.
Just to clarify... it’s her that has a noticeable mood change, hence “dom drop” as opposed to sub drop. But you are right, I do get less attention as well.
I think you become less submissive without the cage and less tolerant of what she says and does compared to being locked away for months all frustrated. So maybe a bit about you and because you are maybe not the perfect angel anymore she reacts and appears to be a little grumpy.
Maybe? I'm not sure if I can separate if it was me being crankier at her "normal" behavior, or her truly being crankier.
My wife definitely prefers me locked up. Although I am nice, she says, “You do more for me when locked.” When we take a rare break, I haven’t noticed a drop in mood, but I do think she is less dominant. You have raised a good point that I have not thought about before. I will pay closer attention. Thanks for bringing this up.
Missed this one back in March. YES. my GF starts getting upset within hours of my being free. Like that same foul mood you get when your favorite toy or tool is stolen. It doesn't matter how hard I try, either (her words).
I could see how after a while, a Domme begins to get accustomed to her sub being caged and how it improves his obedience. So if you are free, it is an indirect challenge to Her status and provokes a negative attitude from her toward you. Luckily the remedy is easy, just submit and cage up again.
ooo. “an indirect challenge to Her status” is a very good point to remind the KH of the risks of uncaging...
My wife really likes the changes that has happened since we started this and when discussed me not wearing it she said she preferred that I continued wearing it just incase things went back to how they were before. I think I could keep things the same as they are now, but it sounded like she wasn't interested in finding out at the time. I'm ok with that though.
I think for us, Dom Drop, and sub drop, is less about being free from chastity, and more the disappointment that occurs when real life plays in. My Goddess has been fairly clear in saying that she likes and wants to maintain control, and chastity, our FLR, contract, and the situation gives her the tools to do so. But we go through a noticeable and necessary shift when we say, have her 2 kids, (one week on, one week off) and she has to be responsible, take care of raising them, deal with real life aspects. Yes, there are times we can just shut our doors and play hard with each other, but much like when I have to transform from being trans me or sissy me, into being regular life masc me, there is a let down time period that occurs once the fantasy play cant be as prevalent. I am not allowed out of chastity in these instances, or at all unless she decides so, and she likes it that way. Our FLR is a constant sexual twist and we both love it, but at times, it has to be put on the back burner. In those times, we both cant help but feel like the wind is being knocked out of our sails, but real life things like rent, bill, kids, sickness, and times when it cant be the focus, create a feeling that is what I would call a drop.
freedom may be the key word here. uncaged equals freedom. being free to act on your own. having a heart felt right to decide how you will act. even if you think it is in your kh best interest your kh most likely feels this as a lack of power and control. behavior that is irritating when you are locked is far easier to ignore than when your free. for my puck, before the cage comes off he is chained up, he is always secured in one way or another. hence i always feel 100% in control. consequently being irritated by my puck almost never happens.
Not all tops/domme experience drop. I personally am prone to top drop after intense session. I liken the feeling being fully immersed in an activity like art making/ music/ intense concentrated effort at something and after the thrilling immersive exercise my body and brain just gets tired i need rest, replenishment and good aftercare. Domina are not robot. We human and need after care too. To be on top of a scene requires alot of effort, mental and physical resouce and focus and attention.. Personally the drop becomes forms of sadness, guilty feelings, uncertainty, feeling physically cold and mental haze/cloudy is how it happens to me. If i dont get after care. With after care i just get feeling tired and lax.