My wife and I agreed on a wife led marriage a couple years ago. She always wanted to be in charge and that led to a lot of conflict over the years. I suggested a wife led marriage. At first she thought it was a stupid idea. I wanted it to be kinky and she was not into that. We have worked things out but it took a couple years. She controls the finances now (everything in her name). I do all the housecleaning. She orders me around daily and expects obedience. I obey her. A few of her friends know about our new type marriage. Her sister knows. This all works because she agreed to tease and denial. She decides when I orgasm which is not often. She will use a crop on my ass if i beg for it. Most of the time she says no. This is all the sex I get (unless you consider butt plugs sex). She is in her late 50's and just not interested in sex anymore. For me the wife led marriage feels sexual. I am horny all the time and that makes me want to be her sub. She realizes that now and makes me go weeks or months without an orgasm. For her it's about having power in the marriage and having an obedient caring husband. She is Ok with me cross dressing at home and removing all my body hair. I clean house nude and plugged. I guess these things could be considered kinky. But I think it just feels kinky to me and not so much for her. I feel lucky to be sub to my wife. Our wife led marriage does not have all the kink that many men here enjoy. But I still think I should feel lucky to serve her and am happy she has embraced her dominance in the marriage. Is anyone else in a similar situation?
Buy her a set of nipple clamps to use on you. They hurt and are low effort. She might even make you clean for 15 minutes while wearing them. You will be way submissive after she takes them off.
I tried to get her interested in some bdsm. I bought a humbler and restraints. She tried it a couple times. I loved it. She isn't into it. My new sex was negotiated and now has been established. We both agreed my sex is now tease and denial, the riding crop, and butt plugs.
Late 50s is way too early for her to not be bothered about sex anymore, although I do understand that it's quite a common thing for women. There's nothing quite like serving a woman with orgasms as and when she demands and it's sad that you don't get the satisfaction of doing that. HRT would probably improve things, if you could get her to talk to her GP about it. It's good that you see a positive side to it and that she indulges your needs. A lot of men don't get as much as that. Good luck.
My wife has a friend who she talks to a lot and they talk about their marriages. Her friend is about 10 years younger than my wife and she also denies her husband sex. They have normalized it with each other. Their attitude is that once you reach a certain age you don't need sex. It doesn't help that her friend reinforces my wife's attitude toward sex. Her friends husband is much older than her (25 years) and she is not attracted to him. My wife and I our the same age and I am really fit for my age. Until the past year my wife still liked receiving oral sex. I hope it gets back to that. Neither of us desire intercourse.
There are many men in your situation that would just simply have affairs, so I hope she appreciates your loyalty.
I was married to my ex wife at age 30 and we separated around age 48. She was never a big fan of sex but wanted it very rarely after 40. My best wife, who just turned 40, wants some form of sex every day, if not several times a day.
My girlfriend is 74 and still going strong, so the menopause is not a negative thing for all women. A shame that more women don't get HRT.
Lots of things impact libido. My wife was almost manic sexually a few years ago, but for lots of reasons, her libido is not as high. A few years ago, we toyed with more of a slave relationship, but in practice that quickly seemed like a lot of work to her. She’s gradually (over many years) more comfortable with me crossdressing and we go out sometimes. Her libido goes up with me wearing “soft” clothes. She is almost more receptive to me if she is certain no intercourse will be involved, and we fool around a lot more frequently lately, albeit haven’t gotten to orgasm in almost 3 months.
I think you aren't doing badly. Our marraige is more kinky, but my wife has always been very tolerant of my proclivities, and not shy about indulging them. We're a decade older than you, and while her sex drive is not what it used to be, she still enjoys her orgasms when I go down on her. And we'll see about the strap on when it arrives shortly, as she used to like PIV. She also does it mainly for the power and control. Like the great majority of people, she will walk a mile to avoid confrontation, and an FLR eliminates that within marriage. She has always handled the finances, taxes, computer software, etc, and I would be totally lost without her. Our finances are joint, but she wields all the power there. My business success was due manlike to never asking anyone to do what hadn't;' our wouldn't; and not being bothered by confrontation. Now, locked, and submissive again, she loves being able to tell me what to do and me willingly doing it. Hopefully, your wife will open up a bit to being more forging and accommodating to your desires.
Similar. Vanilla wife. Loves being in charge (when she chooses to be). Loves dumping responsibilities on me the rest of the time. Loves knowing that I worship and obey her.