Has anyone broken up with a partner over chastity?

That would be much more likely without chastity.

 

Many years ago when we were still in our early years of chastity we had had a good bdsm session, I’d showered and was lying on the bed flicking through the tv, Madam came in and saw me and my cage still ok the window sill, and asked why I wasn’t locked, I said I’d put in on later, I wasn’t going anywhere and there is no rush anyway. Madam said that wasn’t the point, I was to be locked at all times, no exemptions! Anyway it very quickly became a full blown row, proper shouting, door slammed ect! It ended with Madam yelling “ETHER LOCK UP OR FUCK OFF”
Needles to say I got my cage on very quickly!

 

Unfortunately my wife isn't into it at all so I do it myself. Not gonna separate over it but it sucks.

 

I still feel like I am self locking only however a little bit of progress has been made with my wife. I can see the idea slowly warming in her eyes.

 

Make sure she always cums first when you are caged, 100% of the time. The more earth shattering you can make her orgasms, the simpler it will all be to make her see the benefits.

My recommendation, buy an igloohome lock box to keep the keys in. Ask her to set it up on her phone and that she and only she has access to the app and password (you need an app that is password protected for the lock boxes)

Whenever you want to lock up and have the power completely out of your hands, do so. Lock yourself up, put the keys in the lock box and close the door. It locks immediately and from there your partner and only your partner can release you

My wife absolutely loves me being caged, but she never got real possessive over the keys like I would have liked. The lock box is a good compromise of “well, now I’m locked up and only she can let me out”

From there, be careful what you wish for. I had a previous partner that never fell in love with the idea of chastity, truthfully I don’t think I ever behaved for her or allowed her to explore chastity. The best thing you could do is to buy that lock box, and ask your partner to explore denying you for multiple days at a time… She will probably love how passionately you kiss her and go down on her

 

I did this with my wife, but with a combination lockbox instead. She chose the combination and has kept it secret from me. Even though she has never said she loves chastity, she has been very cooperative with the keyholding aspect and with tease and denial. She loves the benefits and gets very turned on from teasing me. She has never been more sexually responsive in her life.

 

i don’t know how to tell my wife or if i ever even will. I feel you. It sucks

 

Have you explained the benefits to her starting with greater attentiveness & affirmation from you, getting her needs met, etc. and the benefits you get from having her control your sexuality (no masturbation, better behavior, improved self-esteem, greater satisfaction from loving her, etc.)?

 

I think Tom has it right. let it go a dn go with the flow, but act like she is your key holder every waking minute. Anticipate her wants and her needs. Start doing the dishes, the vacuuming, or what ever chores she routinely handles. Adore her, but neither ask for anything in return nor expect it. After a while, she will notice you've changed, for the better, and quite possibly ask why. That is your opening to tell her you still consider her you keyholder even is she doesn't, and give your life and labor to her. What have you got to lose but you doing more work?

 

I’m sorry you’re going thru that.

it has been a long road to where we are now too. And I would like more (and sometimes less) but keep at it in a gentle way.

serve her

 

Basically the only solution that somehow works for us.

We use fingerprint lock. I can still open it in case of emergency, but it would reset the stored fingerprints, so she would find out.

It would be great if she would lock me up or at least told me to do so. But it's better than nothing...

 

As I am self locking when my new device arrives, I will not need a lock box as I will not remove it unless she wants me to.
The problem with giving her orgasms is that I love going down on her and we only have sex after she orgasms. Her big issue is not thinking it is fair if I don't get to orgasm as well. Also she thinks it will be painful and uncomfortable to wear long term. She also has concerns that I will be discovered if there is a medical emergency.

 

This is my plan for the moment, the more time I spend locked the more attentive I am towards her needs. Even though I am out of my cage until my new cage arrives I still try to do what I can to please her. Gardening, housework, dishes etc.

 

Likely, her first reaction to the “benefits” speech is, “Why aren’t you doing all that stuff now?”

Consider reframing the conversation. Just ask. Tell her about chastity, you want to try it, and it could be fun. If she loves you, and is not exhausted, she may agree. Then, you can show her the benefits through actual deeds and behavior.

If you sell her on benefits, and are just looking for kink, she will see through that quickly and it will not be good for your relationship.

THAT could cause a breakup over chastity.

 

Not so far from the truth. Giving her control may have saved our relationship.

 

You need to tell her if you don't think it is infair to orgasm without you, neither should she. And once she gets into the right mindset, she won't care what you think about your sexual wants. As far as medical emergencies go, my wife has historically worn a key (security screw key) around her neck. We were vacationing in western NC with our dogs in a beautiful park full of waterfalls. I had both dogs on leashes, though she said I should give her one. she was right. . As we approached the closest waterfall just after arriving, I had to rock hop. Well, one dog hopped with me. the other decided to go the other way. I face planted onto a large flat granite rock, while my right shin hit the edge of the rock full force. Put a dent in my leg that made me feel ill looking at it. Walked back to the car, and wife drove me to the ER. Knew Our way around, as my parents had lived there for years. I was caged. Asked for the key, and unlocked on the way to the hospital. As it turned out, no one would have known anyway. Lots of X-rays, incredibly all but one of my head (I found 2 chipped teeth a week later) . So , don't make too much of the medical emergency, though clearly, if in an accident, it could happen. Even with a heart attack, can unlock very quickly.

 

Keep it simple. She doesn’t have do deny you just control the key. Once she gets used to that, it may evolve into occasional denial.

 

I do explain that it is what I want and that I don't think it is unfair to miss out as I want to be denied.
I have no issues with carrying and emergency key as I think it heightens the risk factor. In a real emergency I would be able to pull out if needed. If not I will just be outed to the medical staff.

 

My sentiments exactly. I want to be locked and released only when my wife wants it. If this is twice a week all good. If it is once a month OK as well. Fingers crossed the lock up time will continue to grow once she feels comfortable with the situation.