So me and my kh have been doing this for about 3 years so still very new and still testing toys and cages out she is very vanilla and I'm not. So we have done a full locktober when we started where I was topping from the bottom and after we did it she said it was a lot of fun. I said I would like to try again so in the Feb we tryed again with a new cage and I didnt get on with at all and was out in a few day back to the old cage to finish Again said she liked it but felt like it was to much pressure for her to constantly tease and find things for me to do. This was not something I asked for I only said if I was doing a good job to give me a reward and a punishment if not and I was still haven't to do a lot of the work for her as in a punishment app that would pick what punishment I received things like that. Anyway get to this lock up and now in a nano cage as I like like sph now this is the strange bit out of no where she will boss it and leave my jaw on the floor with texts about my small penis of she may have a friend come over or get home for her to be wearing some sexy just to tease me But we was talking the other night when I tolder her I would like to spend me time in the cage and give her more of my attention. She seem disappointed and said that this was not something she wanted to do more of as I now know what she wants and she shouldnt have to use something like a cage for me to do it I should just know. What do I do here to show that this is working in her best interests not only for all the normal benefits but it makes her happier day to day as she has depression and her family see a difference in her when I'm caged and when I'm out Any help or advice is welcome please Sorry about grammar on phone
Oh the temptation. I don’t think (precaged me) would have been able to stop myself replying “well, you should just know why i want to be in a cage”. That honestly wouldn’t have been helpful at all! Swings in moods like this are quite common with depression. I don’t envy you. A previous partner of mine would go from pegging me and asking me to put a 12 inch dildo inside her… to wanting to burn all the sex toys the next day! It’s a very difficult situation to be in, and it’s not always entirely rational. I also, wouldn’t mention that to her. Not helpful either. You may not be asking for it in a pressurised way, but to someone inclined towards anxiety and depression it has been said, and therefore it’s something she will think about. Those thoughts escalate. She will feel pressured whether you meant it that way or not. My suggestion. Explain the reasons you like being in chastity. How it makes you feel. You don’t want anything more than her to hold the key until she has an urge for something more. Your default is caged. Everything else is just normal. Try not to direct it too much. Re-assure her regularly. Compliment her on keeping you denied. You’ll probably have some incredible experiences, but you’ll also have to take some times where she is abject to the idea, but if she understands it makes you feel better it might not always be something that has to stop during a period of low mood. Right now, you’ve made it about her: in that she’s rewarding and punishing you, she’s having to interact constantly. If it’s something you’ve introduced, it’s actually about you… and you shouldn’t have to feel bad about wanting something for yourself.
@Slave Richard : I wrote this post a while back, I think it could really help you out. https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/how-do-i-tell-my-wife.48102/
This is a barter and trade deal: 'She locks you up' in exchange for you giving her attention. Now think about that for a good while. Then think about it some more. Do you want your wife telling you that she'd pay you more attention if only you'd go buy her a fun convertible car? It's nuts. No. You pay your spouse more attention because you WANT to pay them more attention, and you want to pay attention because YOU love them. Your deal would never work in a vanilla context or a kinky one. We don't barter and trade with our spouses. She's told you what she wants and you've told her what you want. That's the start, go from there, but forget any quid pro quo's because that's not going to ever work.
Thank you for the response that's great to hear that she goes from 0 to 100 to 0 that puts my mind at ease a little That's not what I meant. What I meant was my needs would take a back seat over her wants