Me and my fiancé are new and she’s having trouble remembering rules she’s made or Punishments. We have a toddler and she’s currently pregnant and the problem we’re having is a lot of our ideas are jumbled and hard for her to keep track of in her head and she needs something really simple and exact to help create a routine. I was hoping to get some of your guys rules in the beginning and what were the punishments for them? And if you have any suggestions to help her (that aren’t obvious) we’re not stupid we’ve thought of writing them down etc but the idea is to make it less work for her not add more clerical work thanks to everyone who helps
It seems to me, anything not related to taking care of a toddler, her pregnancy, and doing whatever it takes to make her life easier, should be moved to the back burner, at least until after the baby is born and she has recovered.
In the majority of the cases it’s the male pushing for an FLR attempting to push his wife/partner toward setting up rules, punishing him and being kinky. However, most men got it wrong especially in the beginning of this new lifestyle, meaning that they make it about them and not about her. What I recommend you do for the next couple of months is to diligently serve, support and please your wife in whatever way possible. Be submissive not because she demands it but because you want to be. Do the chores not because she asks you to or because she might punish you if you forget to do them, but because you love her and you want to support her. Naturally what will follow is that all these wonderful things you’re doing for your wife will not go unnoticed. Inevitably she will try to reciprocate the love if she is somewhat nurturing, which the majority of women are. She will try to find out what pleases you and what makes you happy. This is where constant communication is absolutely tantamount. If asked, tell her your needs and wants without being demanding. She most likely will start slowly trying to incorporate some kinky aspects into your life. At this point you need to continue to be patient and allow things to develop at her own pace. Most likely it will gradually increase and sometimes progress even faster than you ever wished for. Some men might argue that you shouldn’t expect her to reciprocate or that you should be okay if she never reciprocates. However, that to me is very unlikely because giving and receiving love is what ultimately makes up a healthy relationship. Even if your kink is that your wife doesn’t pay any attention toward you sexually, she is still reciprocating because she is playing along with your kink. So again, focus on serving her every need, all the time, be patient and persevere and the rest will follow sooner or later and possibly with more intensity that you might like. Good luck and take very good care of your pregnant wife and family!
A woman going thru pregnancy has her hormones jumbled up and raging in most directions.. the least she needs is taking charge and setting punishment for you and your kinks… i would suggest you stay locked and be forgotten, help her in nursing her pregnancy, clear up household chores and be ready to be a brand new father again while honing your skills as a sub-hubbie..she is already in her final trimester so im assuming sex is off the table.. so stay locked.
It's it not that you need a Domme more than a FLR. Isn't an FLR much more about your intentions for her to lead rather than you being punished. She decides what's happening day to day, etc. @MissAmy and I have a dynamic where in many aspects we're equal, but specific things we're not. Such as what I cook for dinner is always her choice, sometimes her choice is that I get to decide, but that's still her choice. We don't have punishments outside of kinky play, but she is 100% dominant in all aspects of our sex life and she has has total freedom. It feels like you're upset that you're not being dominated. I'd talk and see if that's something she can incorporate more, regardless of "rules". Good luck