I can only speak from my own experience on this topic: I fell in love with an online keyholder on this site who helped me overcome my chronic cycle of masturbation and depression and channeled my creativity back into my work and craft. This person was a good friend, an intelligent and enjoyable intellectual companion and a compassionate though strict keyholder who insisted on 100% obedience. As a male submissive, I have thrived in "her" care. Unfortunately, it has come out that she was a he. While I treasure this friendship I am only sexually submissive to women and alas have not been able to continue on the basis of so much falsehood. In short I was crushed. I am now blessed to be under the control of another sympathetic and wonderful woman who has been verified as such on this site. I am deeply grateful to Mistress Lucy for instituting the (voluntary) female verification policy here on CM.