Time to document the journey .... I'm a 40 something male. I've been masturbating since I was 12 or 13. Pretty standard. What isn't standard is my addiction to porn. I didn't realize there was such a thing as porn addiction till about a year or so ago. Turns out watching porn imprints endorphin pathways in your brain just like drugs. You become addicted to the stimulation which hurts your ability to have normal relationships. Describes me to a tee. Two failed marriages and some failed long relationships. In any case I didn't know what to do to solve the problem. I saw a sex therapist, I attended some SAA meetings....Nothing worked. I discovered male chastity during this time but without anyone to take control of my chastity , it was hopeless. Flash forward to a few months ago. I met a woman from an online dating site. I was immediately attracted to her because she was intelligent, pretty, witty and seemed to "get me" on a level that was almost scary. She was perfect. I couldn't believe my good luck. Of course the elephant in the room had to be addressed. She had to be told of my addiction. I was really nervous. What if she judged me? What if she got up and left? I really didn't know how she would react. It turns out I was nervous for no reason. She was very understanding. She asked lots of questions (something I love about her). She agreed to research on her own and decide how to proceed. I told her about chastity, about key holding, about an flr, about femdom....all of it. She took it in stride. I was impressed. I wish I could say we didn't have any issues. That is not the case. Figuring out how this would work has been a challenge. Embracing our relationship wrapped up in chastity and femdom has taken some work and is evolving. Still I knew I wanted her to own me and control what had been so uncontrollable. Finally, after weeks of discussions, arguments and resolutions I handed her both keys to the Jailbird. It was so liberating. My sex life was now in the hands of the woman I love. No longer could I waste my energy and desire on two dimensional fantasy women. I had a real life fantasy who owned my orgasms, my erections and most importantly my heart. My KH is on here as well. She is WillingWarden and will be posting here from time to time. She wears my key around her neck and often sends me pics of the key throughout the week. I am totally hers. She is evolving so quickly. I can't believe how quickly she is learning. I find myself falling deeper into submission to her and I would do anything for her. So that's me and this will be our journey. I can't wait to see where this all leads and I know it will be amazing with the Warden running the show. Hope you enjoy.
Going to see the Warden for lunch dressed in a pair if her panties. This is a first. I'll try to post pic when I get back
Man you have a nice ass...and yes, yes, I loved running my fingers over my penis in my panties, mmmm. Xo, WW
Wow thank you for such an honest and open post. I sincerely wish you both a long and happy journey together.
So tonight was bitter sweet. I went with my Gf and her family to a school function for her child. At the performance, she gradually worked her way over my leg to touch her penis. This was really ballsy given her mother was sitting on the other side of me. After dinner we returned to her house. Her son was out and about so even having a private conversation in the car led to awkwardness. She asked if I had worn the panties and i had not. We talked about it earlier and I forgot. We left each other on a little but of a sour note. Not every night can be pure magic. I know I failed her tonight. I don't know how when will react. She may blow it off as no big deal. I feel I let her down and I felt very non submissive tonight. Not sure why. I don't want to be punished but I certainly deserve it. Im strong willed and I told the Warden I will need to be broken and disciplined. I'm not sure she sees that yet but hopefully she will. I don't have good discipline to do it myself. In any case we are traveling tomorrow to meet my parents which is exciting. I'll be sure to update you all
Ok my turn...I'm a 40 something woman who up until recently knew nothing of chastity or the "dark side". I'd tried online dating a bit and had all but given up on finding anything other than freaks and babies...and literally on my last attempt at reaching out to yet another unknown restless spirit I made a most unlikely connection. He made me laugh, he made me think, he kept me talking for hours...I confirmed early on that he was younger than I was as my intent was to give it all up now and give in to my inner cougar...things were definitely off to a good, prurient start! Right out of the gate however he was hinting at things beyond my current skill set, just past my grasp. It's late, I'm tired, and I don't want to give away too much, too soon. I'm here and Willing to learn and participate. Our relationship has certainly progressed more and in different directions than I ever planned...and that's not a bad thing!
Man it's early I'm up. Can't sleep really. I'm excited about our trip together and I miss the Warden soooo much. It's hard living apart but at least we are in the same town. Still to feel her nuzzled up against me each night, to smell her intoxicating scent, to have her hands on me....I long for it. In any case I will see her soon but not soon enough Btw this is my longest period of lock up. It's been almost 4 days. I haven't masturbated to porn for over two weeks now which js also a record. Really happy about that
What a weekend ! The warden and I traveled to see my folks. We had a nice private bedroom downstairs where no one would bother us. I brought along a chunk of our toys. We got in late Friday night and once we got down stairs we started playing around a bit. I was able to give the Warden a nice orgasm with my fingers and her fave vibrator. We went to sleep shortly after and she left me unlocked and quite horny. I actually considered sneaking to the bathroom and jerking off. I didn't do it but the urge was strong for about an hour. The next morning we discussed the rules. I told her how I had felt and we decided I could not be left unlocked. It was too risky and from now on I would be relocked at the end of play time no matter what even if she was right beside me. She's very understanding but firm which I love about her The next day we traveled around my home town and of course there was no real play time until that afternoon. The Warden took a little nap and after helping my parents with some chores I joined her. Once again I got her off to a beautiful orgasm (yes her orgasms are beautiful....truly). I was straining against the cage hard. The rest of the day was uneventful. We told my parents an early goodnight and retreated to our little love den. We decided to play this game that the Warden came up with. The game is simple. You have to touch your partner all over without kissing or licking them. First one to do so loses . To add extra spice the Warden was cuffed to the bed naked and she had unlocked me. Sigh I was doing ok for awhile. I touched her from head to toe. Eventually I started licking her. Her neck, her breasts, her stomach , her feet and her sweet beautiful vagina. I had lost. I ripped off the blindfold she had on and entered her. The cuffs came off as well. She was incredibly turned on and so was I. I was doing my best to get her off again which isn't easy as she needs a bit of recharge time. Still I was determined. Finally she let me grab her vibrator and use it on her clit as I was inside her. Then she TOTALLY surprised me and told me she wanted me to cum in her. It had been 11 days since I had a full orgasm...a record for me. Right as she told me she was close I sped up just a bit and the moment of her orgasm led me to explode. I felt like the opening of my penis was three times wider than it really is and I let loose with prob the biggest load of cum I have ever shot. It felt totally mind blowing and amazing. I was completely spent. We talked for a little bit and she relocked me. I love that sight of her locking up her penis. It's nice to be owned. The morning came and we got ready to go. After a short drive we were back at my apartment. I showed her the hood I had bought from extreme restraints. She immediately tried it on and things got hot in a hurry. It's the type of hood made of spandex with holes for the eyes and a zipper over the mouth. I placed a blindfold over the eyes and kept the mouth open. I tied her hands to the head board and removed her clothes. After a few lite spanks to her breasts , I pulled out our black strapon. Liberal amounts of lube helped it slide right in her warm wet pussy and I was fucking her easily while her penis strained against its cage. It was quite a sight. Soon I brought her vibe into action which always drives her crazy. I removed the strapon and used my hands and the vibe to bring her to a thunderous orgasm. She was spent and I removed the cuffs and hood. We laid and talked for awhile. I had mentioned to her earlier in the day about being spanked hard. I wanted her to break me down. I've never really done that and I feel I need it. I want to give her my total submission from that. I hate being spanked but it gets to me on a primitive level that I want to explore. She agreed to do it although I don't know when it will happen. We have a ping pong paddle that she will use and she will be the judge of when I am "broken." I'm excited to do this but also slightly terrified by the prospect. She also mentioned I would be punished for losing the game the night before and stuffing a sock in her mouth while she was tied up. Not sure what those punishments will be but they are coming. Sigh. We laid there for awhile and I brought her to one final orgasm with my mouth and the vibe. Five orgasms for her in less than two days. A new record!! The Warden also informed me that my next orgasm would not occur until she had ten more orgasms....maybe. She's catching on so fast to this game....it's scary. Maybe ? Lol. What have I created? Finally she had to leave but as I walk in the kitchen what do I see? Her filling up ice trays. Then I remember. She had just gone to the bathroom and she had a cup she was using to pour her pee into the tray. She told me I was not to sample these golden treats until she returned. She also mentioned she had tasted her own and she tasted heavenly. This woman is SOOOOO AMAZING!!!! Finally I took her home and we said our good byes. I love her so much and I hate being apart from her. This relationship with the chastity and kink is so good. It's fulfilling and I can't wait to see where we end up next. I truly see me spending the rest of my life with the Warden and being her kept prisoner forever!
I started to feel anxious about halfway through my day of work Friday but was way too hectic to notice...so by the time I was rushing home to leave, my stomach was beyond butterflies and well into fully knotted mode! I was nervous to "meet the parents" and it irritated the shit out of me, period. Historically my MO has been one of fight or flight...and with all this kinky fuckery of late I was definitely feeling the pull to run, to suddenly become MIA, to drop out...how on earth could I look these people in the eye - I could just see it now, "Pleased to meet you. Oh Yes, your son is great - he likes to lick my ass and drink my pee and even wore my panties yesterday...how was your week?" Sigh. I would be lying if I told you the thought of fucking in his parents' basement didn't turn me on. It was intoxicating...and intimidating all at once...however no sooner had we entered that room and closed that door...well, it was curtains for both of us, me in particular - I simply have no defenses to fend him off...not that I would even want to mind you... I've thought all along that he was a top from the bottom kind of guy and wondered if this whole chastity thing wasn't just some extension of his own twisted fantasies. Anyone heard the term mind-fuck before!? Well here's the rub...I was a reluctant student at first but find myself owning and embracing my new role as KH more and more with each passing day, with each new experience...and believe me it is ALL new to me! Be careful what you wish for indeed... There is something so liberating about complete sexual subjugation though...I have not felt this alive, this On Fire, this Powerful before EVER! And the more I open up and give in and quite simply Let Go, the more intense it all becomes...my orgasms are more frequent and more potent...not to mention His full orgasm last night, inside of me, after his longest stretch of denial, was Massive...earning him the new nickname of Fire Marshall Bill! So we exploited that cold dark room (and each other) two Long, Hard, Mind Blowing nights in a row. Yes, I made the mistake of leaving him unlocked overnight that first night...but it was a test - one I had faith he would pass but one that I will not make again. Even though he behaved and resisted the temptation to touch himself, I can't assume all is cured. My little addict still has a long way to go to insure a long life with me...but we're getting there, one day and one baby step at a time. Luckily, somewhere along that rainy, foggy road, I let it all go and my nerves did not get the best of me...and I ultimately met two amazing, caring people who I have something wonderful in common with - loving this man, kinks and all. :spank:
Another doctors appointment this morning. I had one last week and was made to put on the elastic waist band shorts. They were pretty baggy and I don't think the doctor (female) noticed anything. The Warden asked me what I would do if the doctor noticed. I told her I would just tell the doc that I was wearing a chastity device that my gf makes me wear. Very matter of fact. I'm not ashamed of it. I would rather say that than admit I watch porn and jerk off to it which is what I would do if I wasn't in the jailbird. I'm not afraid of people knowing. I'm not gonna advertise but the Warden wears my key around her neck. Eventually someone will figure it out and that's that.
I love reading about your two's tale, I love how we get both sides of the coin and how refreshing and new it all is. Please don't stop, continue to entertain us all with your journey!
Totally enjoy reading about the chaste journey. In my 40's I had no idea this kind of play was possible. I especially like as she gains control..its wonderful.
I can say I was addicted to porn and masturbation as well....but I'll save that story for my own thread. How goes the journey? You have not made an update in a while.