I frequented here for a while last year, but have been doing most of my blogging elsewhere since resuming the habit (link in signature). I am the owned pet of my fiancee', Jalan Jalan. Orgasm control, whether through belt, tease, delay, or denial, is a major part of our power dynamic. I do sometimes find myself in a belt -- a custom piece with a Jailbird mounted on a Fetisch-Felix belt -- but Jalan has recently discovered the joys of denial by order. The next few posts in this thread will be reposts of some of the more relevant entries from my Wordpress blog, where there is a fair bit more background, as well as posts on the general D/s and bondage aspects of my life with Jalan. Happy reading!
January 18, 2012 No, “Dragon” isn’t an anatomical reference, though the “cage” part is linked to one. Naga di Kandang translates as Dragon in a Cage. It was a name given to me by Jalan. This has layered meanings for us, but one of the meanings of cage is literal. I’m a chastity fetishist from way back, meaning literal, physical, belts. Female chastity has been an interest from an early age, and male chastity since I learned 10 or 12 years ago that such devices existed. After many efforts by different partners and on my own, I at last have a working belt — working in the sense of secure and comfortable enough to wear over days and nights. It comprises a Jail Bird (NSFW link; not graphic, but adult images) from Mature Metal welded to a belt from Fetisch Felix (ditto) by special consideration. The result is three parts — a steel waistband with silicone liner, the Jail Bird cage mounted on an angled heavy steel arm, and a locking plate and loop to keep everything in place. When assembled, the steel arm tucks things nicely down and back to avoid wardrobe complications. Jalan prefers the open steel cage of the Jail Bird to the closed tube on the Felix models, for both hygiene and teasing purposes, hence the compromise. This isn’t the highest-security such contraption that’s made — mostly because a replacement key could be ordered from Germany fairly easily, if not quickly, as they’re not unique — but I believe from my research and personal experience that Mature Metal and Fetisch Felix are each at the top of their tier in the industry, and I’m quite happy with the combination. None of the parts could be easily attacked, even with tools, without risk of injury. The main weak point, other than replacement keys, are the fasteners that hold the re-sizable belt in place. Even those, though, once we’re completely satisfied with fit and have glued down the liner, would not go easily (there’s also the option of cementing them in place, but we’d then have to order new waistbands as my weight changes). In any case . . . This is my second locked period in this version. We’d lost use of chastity devices for a few months when my weight was changing rapidly, and finally got this rig after some delays (no fault of either manufacturer — customer service in both cases has been superb). The first period was about 2.5 days, and there were some sore spots when it came off. After healing time and some adjustments to the fit, we’re trying again. Jalan locked me in Monday night, and it’s still quite comfortable. Our terms limit the lockup to three days between cleanings, but there’s nothing in those terms that prevents it from going right back on afterward. I have no airport trips or anything else that would require me to be free coming up for a few weeks — it’s entirely up to her. Which is rather the point.
January 26, 2012 When last we left our hero . . . At last report, I’d been in my chastity belt for two days, with a three-day time limit between cleanings. I also tweeted Thursday about not being sure what to expect. What I did not report is that most of those two days had been very stressful for Jalan in vanilla concerns. So much so, that she lost count of days . . . So I had four nights in the belt before she unlocked me for cleaning Thursday morning. The belt still isn’t/wasn’t quite perfectly fitted — there were some pressure sores on my hips. One solution we’re working up is a light cloth sleeve over the belt — Fetisch-Felix sells them, but Jalan will probably just make a couple. We don’t want wrinkles, but absorbing sweat and reducing rubbing are goals. I also loosened the belt a notch using the adjusting bolts. And last night was good. We’d planned to play in some fashion. I never know in what way, and like it that way, but I’d asked that we reserve time. There have been too many stresses the past 7-10 days (including some deadline issues for me at work) and we haven’t had as much connected time as we like. So I blocked off the evening, telling her what I needed to do before bed and leaving the rest in her hands. She began by ordering some personal service — starting with foot-washing and moving on up. After she’d done some metaphorical pillow-biting, she rested a bit and told me that that was “just the price of admission for the evening.” to get the belt. This is perhaps the first time that I hadn’t planned for such a thing. I was completely caught off guard, having been in a waiting mode during the healing time. I hadn’t been monitoring the sore areas myself, but she had! So she locked me up and then proceeded with the evening, which involved earplugs, a full leather hood (breathing grommets only), the play collar, limb cuffs and chain, and 100′ of rope webbing me onto the bed. Then left to stew with occasional repositionings for an hour and a half or so. A good night . . . I’m still locked this morning, of course. For any amount up to three days, which would be Saturday evening — and then, it might only be a brief cleaning release. Or it might be unlocked when I get home today. Or anything in between. I’m checking carefully for pressure points, though — if any sores are building, we don’t want to have to leave a week for healing by letting them get worse. If they do, then it’s a matter of doing some re-shaping of the belt component to better match my hips. A trial and error process, but, as we say, part of the price of admission. I’ve got more to say on relationship processes, but another entry, hoping for sooner than later. But cf. deadline pressure.
February 27, 2012 By way of background, the standing rule for me is to masturbate exactly once per week. Jalan modifies this rule each Sunday as she sees fit, but that’s the base. There are accommodations for when I’m in the chastity belt, but that’s not important for this post. Usually, there’s also a fair bit of mutual sexual activity. Also by way of background, I’m typically slow to orgasm — when we have sex, she’s way ahead of me most of the time (this is not a problem for either of us). Last night was a new twist. Jalan had done some teasing, then we had sex, but I hadn’t cum. She’d declared she was “ok with that” and started getting out the chains — I sleep chained every night. I was pretty sure at this point I wouldn’t be masturbating that night, but I didn’t know whether it would be by physical restriction or weekly rule declaration, being Sunday night. She had me test the physical restriction as the chains got more elaborate, but I could still reach — it’s fairly challenging to completely prevent reaching myself and still leave me comfortable enough to get a decent sleep. She then laid down the twist: “If you masturbate tonight, you won’t cum again this week.” Dilemma! But not much of one — I’ve wanted to experiment with full chastity, beyond just masturbation rules but also applying to handjobs or sex. I guess I’ll find out what it’s like, because, after a (very) brief internal debate, I reached down and came pretty quickly. Getting to sleep was a bit of a challenge as my mind raced with implications.
February 28, 2012 Sunday night, as previously posted, I had taken the offer to be able to masturbate on the terms that that would be the only time I’d cum this week. I knew I’d be in for a terribly delightful and delightfully terrible week one way or the other — as Jalan is fond of saying, my denial is not her denial. This became exceedingly clear last night. Now, to be sure, I’m generally a quite attentive lover, and good with my hands, even aside from chastity hardware or restrictions. And I am happy to oblige her, either as requested/required, or on my own initiative. All that said, I also realized, to my thrill and horror, that my slowness described before meant she could take even more advantage of my predicament — as long as I alerted her when I was getting close. The chastity/denial crowd knows this as edging, and the slowness makes me an especially vulnerable target of it. So we proceeded to have a good time — especially her — and had a talk about how this was going (granted, after just one night). In particular, Jalan stressed how much she was enjoying this twist — with the express implication that this week may not be the end of the regimen. It is, of course, entirely up to her. Which is the point. Now the pontificating, in part based on last night’s conversation, but in part on months of discussion and decades of kink. In all of my power-dynamic relationships, whether as dominant or submissive, the D’s control over the s’s sexuality has been extremely important to me — masturbation restrictions, orgasm control, physical devices/belts, teasing/delay/denial, etc. As I am submissive to Jalan, I’ll focus on the s perspective for the rest of his. To me, giving over control of my sexuality is one of the most potent (there will be lots of accidental puns, please ignore) forms of submission. Yes, I’m obedient. Yes, I’m respectful. Yes, I love to do things to help and please my partner. But sexuality is just so primal that having a dominant control mine means she controls the expression of that very basic drive. In general with restrictions, more so with the belt, and all the more so the past 48 hours, I’m constantly aware that I have given up something that’s a basic biological imperative. Now, Jalan has taken that full control. Not only may I not masturbate, but I may not cum, even when we’re having sex. And it’s not a matter of controlling the orgasm and only cumming when she permits, it’s full denial. She has said I will not have an orgasm the rest of this week — and I know she will not change her mind on this. There is no hope this week. And she most definitely has not said, nor have I asked, what next week’s rule will be. Or the week after that. The more she enjoys my predicament, without herself feeling denied, the longer this could go. It’s completely out of my hands. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Jalan owns me completely. Head to toe, and everything in between. An aside: I asked her later last night what the rule would have been if I had not taken the offer to masturbate. She said she had not fully decided, but it would probably have been either the same (no orgasm for the week) or the other extreme (several orgasms or, as physiology permitted, masturbation sessions required each day).
Day 10 update http://nagadikandang.wordpress.com/2012/03/07/more-on-denial-day-10-explicit-nsfw-text/