Saruman's journal

Haven't got the HolyTrainer yet. According to their website it takes 12 days for a custom colored one, so I probably need to wait a couple of more days before they ship it.

My wife's date is next week, so patience there as well.

Meanwhile, some thoughts on how I would want my sexual relationship with my wife to look like:

1) She can have sex with whomever and whenever she pleases
2) I am not allowed to have sex with other people
3) I am not allowed to initiate sex with her. This includes french kissing and touching of breasts and vagina. This will be reserved for her lover(s). If she wants this from me, she will make this explicitly clear
4) I must wear a chastity device during the day. She will keep the key during the day and release me for the night
5) I am not allowed to have any orgasms unless she gives me permission

We used to do 1 to 3, simply because our relationship grew that way. Then we changed it to an open relationship, because that was more "fair" in her opinion. If she could have sex with others, then so should I, was the idea. I dabbled a bit on dating sites, but we both didn't like it much.

I think the issue here is that she doesn't really understand what I get from this arrangement.

As for 4 and 5, I think that is a bridge too far right now. She knows I have chastity devices, but doesn't really want to have anything to do with it.

Any advice would be appreciated.

 

Great questions, this allows me to put my thoughts into words.

What do I get out of it? I like to be in a submissive role, sexually. If she is happy, then I am happy, even if this means she is having sex with someone else, and not with me. I think this concept is sometimes referred to as compersion? If she is having intercourse with someone else, this makes me immensely proud of her. For me, this is an even bigger kick than putting my own penis in someone's vagina.

Why is she unwilling to be in control of my chastity? That's something I should ask her, I suppose. I guess partly because she doesn't understand why someone would want be put into chastity, it's a weird kink to her. Maybe she feels sorry for me and doesn't want to take part in something that hurts me physically or mentally. Another part is that maybe it's then something that she would have to do, and she doesn't want to have any obligations in that regard? I mean if she is tired or just not in the mood, then it would be something that might feel forced?

 

By the way, I literally just received an email from HolyTrainer that my device is on the way