An Chastity Spectrum - Where Are You?

Where are you on the chastity spectrum?

I started writing a version of a spectrum…from sexual novices and people with no knowledge…to moving to what could be perceived as “extreme chastity” dynamics.


I write from my own perspective of a heterosexual, married, monogamous, cis-gender man.

1. No Chastity. Sex Novices?: Newlyweds: Sure, they fooled around while dating. They both masturbated at times from puberty until now. But they are both quite sexually inexperienced. They read a book her mother gave her, and try a few things that seem taboo at the time…but are really part of the ever growing list “vanilla” sex practices.
   
   
2. Chastity Ignorance: Neither he or she has ever heard of chastity cages or its multitude of dynamica. They may practice other kinks…but she is not in charge and his orgasm is never denied. They meet each other’s orgasmic needs, freely and joyfully.
   
   
3. A Flat NO: Either she or he learns of chastity kink, but they immediately think “NO Way!” and “She/He would never go for that.” and so the idea is forgotten.
   
   
4. Curiosity: He learns of chastity, and buys a cage. He self locks when he can and knows she will not discover it. It is part of his masturbation habits now.
   
   
5. The Ask - No: He knows of chastity, has been self locking for a while…and finally works up the courage to tell her about it. She says she is not interested, and so he keeps self-locking secretly. He still orgasms when they have sex…but he also experiences a little bit of sustained horniness in the cage.
   
   
6. The Ask - Maybe: He knows of chastity, has been self locking for a while…and finally works up the courage to tell her about it. She says “maybe, but I need to know what is in it for me.” She enters a research mode; either on her own or things he shares with her. Her “maybe mode” continues for a while. Their “normal” sex life continues.
   
   
7. Her Idea?: Alternately…she learns about chastity from a friend or from porn or from a ladies magazine article…and brings up the subject to her husband. He thinks it is weird…but is willing to give it a try. It is a game of sorts. She rolls two D6 dice to determine how long he will stay locked and denied. Nothing over 12 days, and usually 5,6,7,8,9 days. She tells him she wants to have orgasms with him locked, and he likes cunnilingus so he gladly obeys.
   
   
8. The Ask - Yes: He knows of chastity, has been self locking for a while…and finally works up the courage to tell her about it. She always has been adventurous and so she immediately says “Yes. and takes the keys.” His first lock up is 14 days…and then 30….and then 90. She does a deep internet search and practices what she learns.
   
   
9. Trying It Out: So…they both are consented to chastity. She the keyholder. He the lockee. She teases him, and lays down some basic rules for him to follow. She still is not perfectly comfortable with the whole “power exchange” thing…but she is working on it. He is locked for a while…and then uncaged for a while. He is denied sometimes…and then other times he is not…and they have great sex either way.
   
   
10. Her Indulgence: For all their married life they orgasmed nearly together. They chased the mystical “simultaneous orgasms” and managed to do it a few times. Most of the time they would alternate orgasms. Sometimes him first…sometimes first. Now…she ALWAYS would cum first. Then…she started having orgasms…without him having one. She would just rub his trapped balls for a while…and rub his pee hole that stuck out the cage…and then say “O.K. That is all your get.” Her desires were indulged and his were denied…and they talked often how she should not feel guilty about their new orgasm imbalance.
    
    
11. Occasional Use: She unlocks his cock every week. They have PIV sex or a handjob. She lets him stay unlocked until the next morning. He is appreciative.
    
    
12. Caged Orgasm: While playing with his caged cock one night…it is so exciting that he has his first caged orgasm with her. Wow…that was unexpected…and really different. They both laugh at what happened….and she ponders it. “So…I don’t need to unlock him for him to cum. Interesting.”
    
    
13. First Ruined Orgasm: Either he or she learns about “ruined orgasms”...and so they experiment one night when he is unlocked. This time, she tells him to clean up and lock up right after they are finished. He remains quite horny after this “mini-gasm” and she says to herself “He’ll get more of those.”
    
    
14. Haphazard and Random: There is no set schedule to his lock ups and orgasms. It might be determined by the roll of dice, the drawing of marbles or cards. Locked for 6 days, free for 1. Locked for 3 weeks, free for one. She doesn’t really like those random methods, for Lady Luck is in charge…and not her. One days she says….”no more games. You are locked until I say so.”
    
    
15. She Likes It: She decides she is in charge, and tells him so. He asked for this…and she really started to like it. He is doing more chores. She gets more oral caresses and orgasms. She likes his constant horniness.
    
    
16. First Locktober: Either He or She or both learn of Locktober and discuss it.. Locked for 31 days. No releases of cage or semen. It is mid September and she says. “We are so doing this.” He gulps, but has been hoping to participate.. On November 1, while he has had no orgasms, she has had eleven. That is something that never happened before. He gets to be unlocked for a week…and then it is back on.
    
    
17. Longer Intervals: Well…time goes by. He is locked more than he is unlocked. Locked for a month…then three…then six. His orgasms go from his multiple masturbation events….to 2 a week with her…to 4 a month with her…to 2-3 months with her…to 12 a year with her.
    
    
18. FLR: In her web research, she learned about FLR. Female Led Relationship. One day, she told him that this was how things were going to be. Going forward, she would make the final decision about everything: His schedule, his free time, his home chores, Sex, Money, Calendar. Vacations…Everything. That cock cage is now a symbol of her benevolent domination.
    
    
19. Locked by Default: Eventually she tells him that he will be locked when “not in use.” He is locked 24/7. He never knows when or how his next orgasms will be. Last week, she gave him three…but then it has been 45 days (and counting) with lots of teasing…but no cumming. He has learned to find great enjoyment with his face between her thighs and his experienced hands using the Wonder Wand. (They are on their second one…their first one shorted out – sparks flying - back in 2010) He can’t ask to be unlocked or for an orgasm…so he must learn to patiently wait.
    
    
20. Sissy: She liked the idea of him being her sissy slave or sissy maid. So she bought him some panties and some short skirts and some silicone breast forms and some bras and some make-up and some wigs. She taught him how to put it on and do it all up. He was to put it on every weekend…and speak to her in falsetto. When he retired, he’d be expected to dress up every day.
    
    
21. Slave: When he wasn’t in sissy mode…he’d be her slave. Cock locked. Chained to the bed. Kept in an adult diaper. Released to make meals and clean the house. He’d have to sleep in a cage…in the wash room during winter and in the garage during summer. His blanket would be washed twice a year…and he’d have to eat off the floor. He’d be permitted to sleep in “her bed” only on special occasions…and no more than 6 times a year.
    
    
22. Strap It On: A day came when she decided she wanted it both ways. She wanted him to be locked and denied for lengthy periods…but she still wanted PIV intercourse. She’d read about strap-on harnesses and double density dildoes…and so she bought several. “This way I still get to be penetrated…and you still get to be horny. We can still have intercourse…but it will be pretty rare for you.”
    
    
23. Pussy Free Penis: A day came when she said “You are now PFP: Pussy Free Penis. Yes…Just your cock. Your tongue is not pussy free…AT ALL.” The strap-on is the only way you’ll enter me now.”
    
    
24. Miscellaneous Progressions: She instituted all kinds of things as time went on. She tied him to a chair, and he could only watch her masterbate. She told him one time, after a really good blow job…that that was his last one BJ…EVER. Later, his tongue was declared “Pussy Free”; no more cunnilingue from him.. There was a year where he was not allowed to see or touch her body; all he could do was listen to her vibrator orgasm while he laid, blindfolded, at the foot of their bed.
    
    
25. Yearly O: On a recent January 1, she told him that he would only get one orgasm that year. He could ask for it anytime…but this was his new limit. At the end of the year…if her orgasms were over 120, he would get a second orgasm on December 31.
    
    
26. 5 Years of NO: Later…just to try it out…he went without an orgasm for 5 years. The chastity cage was removed once a month for a shower and shave and put right back on.
    
    
27. Bad Boy and SPH: During that time…she started a humiliation play with him. She called him names. She talked constantly about his tiny, useless cock. Several times she put him in the bath-tub and peed on him (he suggested it). She said his semen was disgusting (She had always thought it was so), that is why he would now have to swallow it whenever and wherever it puddled.
    
    
28. Orgasm Free: Finally…she said it was time for him to be OF: Orgasm Free. She set a date…his birthday was 3 months away….and he could have as many PIV FULL orgasms between now and then that he wanted - a grand climax to his sexual life. But after that…he would be locked up and locked away. He would never have any orgasm ever again.
    
    
29. The Cuckold: She on the other hand…would start taking some lovers. He would be a cuckold. He would get to listen and watch her enjoy the attentions of eager young men and their gigantic cocks…but he’d always be PF and OF for the rest of his life.
    

Of course, there are many ways to add to or divide some of the above entries….but it was just something I started writing…and thought I’d write it to this level of completion. I have learned that chastity kink play is a vast network of durations, behaviors and things….and everyone chooses from that menu…or it is chosen for them. Some of the members of this forum are in light, moderate or extreme chastity relationships…however they may define it. For some, the extremes are reality and for some it is only fantasy.


In the chastity discussions with My Queen and me…we have gotten to the point of longer lock ups and longer denials. We have discussed some of the aspects that are written above that are hard limits for us. She is not into dildoes (“I want the real thing.”), or sissy play, or humiliation or cuckold or slave play…and would not go for having me be pussy free or orgasm free… It is unlikely she would even go for a full FLR. We have talked about me being “locked by default 24/7” going forward…and we’ll see if that materializes.


For now…she holds sexual authority over me, she will command lock or unlock times and she indulges her own orgasms while denying mine. She is on record as saying she likes giving me pleasure and seeing me orgasm…so it is all very good.


May we each have the happiest and horniest new year possible.

 

id add those but it is not possible to have a work in progress with editing possible.

 

You are welcome. I’m glad it led to a conversation.

 

That depends on how one defines "spectrum"
The piece stands on its own as written and shared.

I tried to show the progression from
no awareness of chastity...and a very vanilla sexuality for the happy couple
to a
very extreme form of chastity...as some would define it.

I mean no offense to anyone.
I could have written it shorter with just brief phrases...
But that is what flowed out of my mind, to the keyboard...and then posted here.

Wishing every one a great 2024 with a wonderful play time in chastity.