Why Isn't Chastity More Popular?

This is exactly how I feel. I’m sure my Wife/KH would agree.
I’m a little bit longer into it (about 18 months) but it hasn’t faded at all.
It has really worked out for both of us and the relationship itself.
The benefits have been immense.
Not only have I contemplated how to get this info to my kids, my Wife has commented that they should also be locked up someday (maybe it has been in a half-joking way, but only half-joking, for sure)
We are both better than we’ve ever been. Motivated, feeling sexy, confident.
It caused a couple of arguments in the first 6 months. But not more than we would’ve had about some other subject.
We rarely argued anyway. Now we never argue.
We both made some other lifestyle changes that helped. But chastity was the first and biggest. The others were probably born from it.
No doubt that it won’t work for every type of couple. But it worked for us.
Occasionally, I feel like, “man I would love to have this cage off”
But I know what’s good for me.
I am not just saying it cause it’s my fantasy or whatever, but my Wife would never consider not being a KH for me at this point.
She is generous of course, so maybe that makes it bearable. I get out for a couple of hours here and there, for cleaning, occasional PIV.
But She goes out of Her way to make sure it’s back on before bed.
Without fail.
It’s a way of life. The only way, now.

edit: It’s probably, not masturbating, that is the real key for us.
The cage itself just makes that a lot easier and also gives us something to be playful with, a secret just for us, endless inside jokes and innuendos.
But certainly not every couple needs it. I’m sure there are men that don’t masturbate, and others who do but still manage to be selfless with their partner.
Right? Lots of guys like that, I’m sure there are…..

 

You were probably being facetious, but, no, I don't think there's any guys that don't masturbate. Unless they are having sex with their wife or SO every single day, they are masturbating. Even if they say they aren't. Of course there are exceptions.

It's gotten so in our culture that masturbation is expected. Hell, they teach it in school. You've got the Surgeon General recommending it! It's completely normalized. And I figured it as totally normal as well. Everything my grandmother and the nuns ever told me about masturbation, I discounted as some silly uneducated religious craziness. No wonder we have a mental health crisis in this country.

 

I wish they had been available 40 years ago, I am sure I would have bought one and asked my wife to lock me up.

 

I thought that was the point in many cases. She does not feel any pressure. He is driven by instinct to woo (an old word but I can't think of a better one) her by being more helpful and attentive, even though he knows he has no chance of intercourse. She is much happier. That makes him happy, even if horribly frustrated. He could try to persuade her to release him, to try to escape (which needs to be very difficult), but he will realise that things are better like they are and, so long as he is locked so he cannot give in to moments of temptation, he can relax. She has every reason to keep him that way, so all is well.

 

I get that, but it's not just about orgasms. She is not intimate in the least. Eventually I'd feal I have a roommate. I'd want a little more than that. If all I had was a roommate, after a while I'd probably stop trying. I don't think that's the end goal of chastity. It's supposed to bring a couple closer together. In their case, it seems to pull them apart.

 

I also wonder if "not interested" is discernible from "scared to admit interest".

I had brought it up as a half joke / half serious suggestion when my wife was worried (and super upset) about me taking a particular business trip. I wasn't going to cheat on her anyhow, but damn, my brain was different by the time I got back home, and even before that. And it was obvious to her, too. That wasn't that long ago, either (3 or 4 years? 5? not sure), and this year I'm now in it 16/7 (she likes me cage free in bed, and I'm not complaining). We found that the influence of the cage is the only thing that seems to help fix my attitude, and frankly my attitude sucked and needed some help, so I'm actually feeling quite grateful.

Anyhow, I wouldn't be surprised if those husbands were now pondering the possibilities ... some things take time.

 

I first found out about chastity devices when I was about 35 years old, but there wasn't anything I could easily purchase. I made some attempts to make one for myself, but they were unsuccessful. I finally got one built that worked out and I was able to wear it pretty much indefinitely after a break-in period of about a month. Being caged was a dream come true for me, and when my Mistress told me I was going to be orgasm free and I would never be allowed to have my penis inside a woman for the rest of my life, I considered her offer for less than five minutes before happily accepting her proposal without any changes. I was so excited I almost ejaculated on the spot. That was in 2015, and I only wish I could have been locked in a chastity device starting in 1962 when I was 12. Looking back now, I'm finally realizing that I was going to become a cuckold sooner or later because I wasn't the same as other boys my age. When it came to jealousy, I never had it like the other boys. When I started going out with girls, every one of them were seeing other boys, including having intercourse with them but not with me.

Finally, one of the girls got pregnant by a guy she knew for only 2 days, even after dating me for 2 years and never touching my penis once.

After confessing all to my Mistress, she knew that I was a beta boy and wasn't deserving of having intercourse because I wasn't a "real man" and was never going to be able to satisfy women. After having Mistress explain why so many women only dated me once or twice and usually had sex with me only once or not at all, it became very obvious that I needed to be caged for life to avoid frustrating women who deserved real men to have sex with. If I could have been locked up at 12 before I frustrated any girls, the world would have been better off, and I wouldn't be so embarrassed about my poor attempts at having intercourse.
.

 

There’s no ‘laughing so hard I'm crying’ emoji in this site, so just visualise this entire piece of writing as me wetting myself! There is no man like this.

 

I don’t get this? I would’ve got it last year, maybe a few months ago when I defined the quality of a relationship by the frequency of sexual intimacy…
Consider this scenario; you get an illness. As an example we say prostate cancer. You care little for sex, the medical procedures are too obtrusive to feel that way. The pressure is too much to want to be close to anyone, your sex life drops off a cliff.
Your wife is supportive.
You don’t have sex…
Neither of you feel like it in the moment…
but with every stage of these procedures and check-ins and biopsy’s and appointments… she is there for you! She cares. She gives you a reason to fight this… she gives you that glimmer that everything will be ok. She’s there for you.
Fuck me. I’d marry that ‘room-mate’, even if it meant I’d have to be locked indefinitely without any hope of being released.

 

I had to go back and read what I wrote.
I’m thinking, there’s no way I would’ve said that in a serious way.
Thankfully, when I looked back, I can see that I was being sarcastic.
Pheww
I thought for a second I may have been locked up and denied for so long that I was turning naive.

 

You have a point. Half a point. I feel lately that there are a lot more ways to have sex than what we all think about as sex (guy on top fucking girl on bottom, and variations there of). There's holding someone, touching someone, kissing someone. All of those things are fun and pleasureable to me. I understand that, let's say I become parapalegic. I have a good friend with advanced ALS. His wife once confided that she never imagined that this would be her life. This isn't what she wanted out of life. But she stays with him. Yes, that's what saints are made of. But that's not really what we're talking about. Even in their case though, I believe they share intimate moments. They don't share their bedroom secrets with me and I don't ask. But I suspect she'll come out of the shower naked and he'll smile. She'll come over and hug him. Maybe he'll cry a bit. She'll tell him it's ok and she loves him. He'll touch her and kiss her. Maybe she'll bring herself to orgasm. Intimacy comes in so many ways. My little chastity experiment here has taught me that more than I ever expected. I hope this is not some way that I'm preparing my wife for our future. But even just tonight I had a related conversation with my wife. She's a PIV girl. I get that. My feeling is if she desired other forms of intimacy, we would have more. Not only is she PIV, but it's not complete until I cum. Even if she came, it's not time to stop until I cum. Now, don't get me wrong. I like cumming. But if you asked me, would I rather cum today, after she cums. Or go at it again tomorrow, I'd opt for go at it again tomorrow. If you asked, would I rather fuck her, or eat her to orgasm for three days in a row and then fuck her, I'd opt for eat for three days and then fuck. Why? Because the intimacy is so much greater when we share physical pleasure for as long as possible. Of course you might say, fuck every night. If I was 30, I'd agree. But even when I was thirty, an every day routine involved more endurance than I typically had.

Anyway, it's not really about that but about roommates. And if the choice was, I sat in a lounge chair watching TV till time to bed, I gave my wife a peck on the cheek and went to my own room to sleep vs. I watched TV with my wife sitting next to me. I caressed her legs and nibbled her neck. She let me play with her a bit, maybe she could even have an orgasm. What would I prefer? Obviously, you know the answer. Say the rolls are reversed. Say PIV to my wife is painful. I can't fuck her. The choice is. I say, ok, no problem. We'll watch TV, and go to bed. I just won't ever think about sex again. Vs, my wife hugging me. Perhaps stroking me. Maybe sucking me but maybe not. What would I prefer? The roommate or the non-PIV but pretty sexual intimacy, I'd opt for the intimacy.

That's my point.

I had a step dad (he's no longer with us) who had prostate cancer and had his prostate removed. I asked him about that once. What did that do to his and his wife's relationship. He said, well, we haven't had any sex in years anyway, so it doesn't really matter. I was horrified. I get it, they had a fine relationship. They traveled, had meals together, watched TV together. I thought it was so sad that he didn't care anymore.

Maybe it's me. In college, my roomate and I were talking once about hypotheticals. The hypothetical: You would either go blind, or loose your cock. What would your choice be? Mind you, we were maybe 20 years old. He said he'd give up his cock. I said I'd go blind. I wasn't some Romeo bedding every girl I ran into either. But I felt that the carrot of sex is what provided me meaning. It drove my compassion, my sweetness, my smile.

Maybe folks need to listen to more country music. I swear. Listen to the poetry of young and old relationships. We are not talking about roommates. We are talking about soulmates.

 

Well said. You get it now.

 

Why don’t all women like money shots and anal….. different strokes for different folks.

 

I think that chastity exists in the world a lot more than people advertise; I've heard that chastity cages are one of the single most purchased sex items.
There are those who live a completely chaste life, for sexual kink reasons, others or different reasons; chastity as a practice has long been espoused in various ancient writings. I suspect there's quite a lot of it today, though given no licensing or registration or requirement to report such intimate details, the actual data would not be available in a meaningful. way.

My practices do not require the validation of others to be legitimate, or real to me, or to my wife. We don't act based on the popularity of the act, nor based on what others might think. Aside from anonymous posting here, it's not something we discuss or advertise (though she did text me a selfie tonight of her wearing the keys. We're an ocean apart tonight, but she's wearing the keys and I'm wearing the cage. Nobody in my present location would know I'm wearing the cage, nor would I let on.

I don't really care if I'm a minor number in a sea of millions, or if I'm the only one. It doesn't change the wearing of, use of, or direction to wear. I have no desire to popularize it, though I'm certain there's a market for the cages, and that it's a popular activity.