What is a good length of time to go without a full orgasm?

We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

 

For me, ilthe desire to orgasm comes and goes in stages -

1-4 days post orgasm, little interest / low level of hornyness (unless stimulated during this time)

5-10 days, levels build
11-20 days, peaks and troughs of desire, but the low point isn't zero, it's still elevated

21+ and it's more even,

It's often a desire not to lose that elevated level of desire that somewhat dictates timing of orgasms. Longest period is 5 weeks, but I think 2 or 3 in a 12 week period would be ideal for me

 

It seems you are close to no longer having full orgasms , so ..., just speculating, your KH might start a new journey , now with ruined orgasms , granting you a significant cuantity of them and then over time gradually reducing them, at the end of that stage you certainly would have forgotten what a full orgasm is and be thankful for a ruined one....but I insist ,this is pure speculation

 

I haven’t had one for about six months. Still get loads of teasing and arousal which is just as enjoyable, although I wouldn’t mind one, you know, just to clean out the pipes.

 

My Goddess and I agreed at the start of October to my request that she accept my submission and take full control of our sex life on her terms. We also agreed to her leading the relationship overall and that she could use me as her submissive in any way she wanted to for activities both sexual and non sexual.

She's never fantasized about such a role and relationship before, but agreed to give it a go having done some reading of her own.

As a result, we agreed on a long initial period of chastity and orgasm denial for me, with the idea being to let her get used to being in charge while I went through an extended period to understand what it feels like as a lifestyle rather than a short term roleplay. We settled on a 90 day period with complete orgasm denial for me. I'm have to be caged except for hygiene and for her to play. I've been unlocked for her to edge me several times and once for PIV where I was not allowed to cum. There have been no ruined orgasms.

Today marks the 50th day since my last orgasm. It must be the longest I've ever gone since my first ever during puberty, and by quite some margin.

We had a talk tonight about how we are getting on and what our expectations are for post 90 days, with the caveat that our perspective may change between now and then.

We both agreed that its been a positive experience and we want to continue the dynamic. On the question of orgasm frequency - I stated that I don't expect to be relieved on day 90 unless she wanted it to happen. I said I imagined that I might have more frequent releases than every 90 days, and maybe she may experiment with different periods to see what my sub drop may be like.

But I finished that my expectations are irrelevant and that I wanted my orgasm frequency to be entirely decided upon and controlled by her.

I may have set myself up by remarking that she could make me wait a year or more if it was what she wanted. I honestly mean that too. I don't crave an orgasm after 50 days of stimulation more than I crave her having all of the power and control.

As long as she's happy to be in control, I'm happy to wait indefinitely. At least that's how I feel now.

 

We are built, created, designed, and wired for intimacy. We need intimacy. We don't need orgasms. I can go very long periods of time in a relationship without an orgasm if I have great intimacy. Orgasms maximize the intimacy in our relationship when parsed out at right intervals.

Women are designed for more frequent orgasms than men so it's a struggle to find the right balance for each that benefits the relationship the most. We both love to give each other orgasms. For my wife, she can go about a month before she needs to give me an orgasm. She would probably like it to be a little more often but understands it needs to be less at my age to optimize my hormones and behavior. That frequency works well for me because it minimizes the drop, but that's still dependent on the frequency of non-orgasmic physical intimacy for me.

For us, an orgasm for her about once every 3-5 days is about right. Every day or every other day is too draining for her. Because of the frequency of our non-orgasmic physical intimacy + positive emotional intimacy, it builds her desire back up and she's ready for an orgasm on day 3. My desire for her to have orgasms would be close to daily if she were able because I enjoy them so much. They provide relief from my pent up hormones. When day 3 hits and everything else is clicking, I need her orgasm to take some of the pressure off.

The two bonding hormones, oxytocin and vasopressin, factor into our intimacy levels. More needs to be written about these. But in short, emotional intimacy and non-sexual physical intimacy trigger oxytocin and facilitate bonding the most for women, although they do get a kick of OT after orgasm. Women react negatively to vasopressin production though because it's generated during mild stress.

Men benefit from oxytocin similarly to women. But they also really benefit from vasopressin because it triggers bonding under mild stress. But VP gets washed away when a man orgasms. So when they work to bring their partner to orgasm without their own orgasm, they experience a strong bonding experience leading to greater intimacy.

Testosterone levels and the accompanying dopamine really drive men to pursue intimacy. When men are younger, T levels are higher and are replenished more quickly along with dopamine. As they age, T levels drop. More physical stimulation / teasing and fewer orgasms are necessay to keep that desire to pursue going.

Do men ever need to orgasm? Maybe not as long as there is plenty of stimulation and intimacy to keep their drive going. I do know my drive is stronger the more profound my orgasmic experience is. But the real constraint or determining factor for us is how long can my wife go without giving me an orgasm.

The last factor in this dance is: sacrificial love. Intimacy is most enhanced when we are focused on the other partner's experience and well being. When my orgasms come too frequently, my focus shifts to my own experience too much and less on her pleasure. Both the man and the woman need to learn the other's bodies and patterns to love them well. It's complex and presents a real challenge because you don't experience things the same. You can only learn from close observation and lots of communication.

 

Whilst it being a very individual thing
Having discussed this with my Lady we are of the opinion that one's thinking on this would change over time
My own opinion is currently..... as long as it takes for you to become comfortable with the rate at which your lady has in mind for a target number

In our case currently none and I became good with that once it was obvious to me that she was in no hurry to let me have one

 

At least as long as the previous duration.

 

My princess has complete control over when, where, or how I have orgasm - full, ruined, or nothing at all. So, whatever she chooses is the absolute longest length of time to go for her, and me....

 

I would have thought 1 to 2 orgasms a week, with the odd stint of a month thrown in. That's enough to remind you of how nice cumming is, and avoid risk of penis/prostrate problems, yet lean enough so that you feel the pinch of orgasm rationing.

 

Or...
How long without any kind of orgasm at all?

If we get a ruined orgasm or other kind of orgasms, are we saying they don't count?

Do they not provide relief even if they may be frustrating?

 

Time between last release…
We should all define our TBKUs and TBLRs just in case it has a drastic effect on someone’s understanding.

Without these things we could be lost in minefield of bewilderment!

I’ve been thinking more clearly since I understood the issue at hand. We probably need to add some percentages. So we can gather clarity. I was thinking orgasm fulfilment.

I previously had 365 a year, I now only have 36.5. (That’s 33 and 4 ruins.) I’m currently running at 10% fulfilment.