How does your partner feel about permanent chastity?

At this point, I don't see either of us wanting permanent chastity. However, I don't see her ever giving up control. She has settled on granting me 4 orgasms per year (2 of my choice how and 2 with me restrained of her choice).

 

These thread questions timed right before I had to answer some discussion questions for a chapter on Sacrificial Love from the book "God, Sex and Your Marriage" triggered some divinely inspired answers. My wife and I engaged in some intimate discussion that proved to be very meaningful and insightful in our journey. Thank you @IB-Chaste for triggering my inspiration!

Our conversations about chastity often come after lengthy periods of observation of my wife's behavior with little or no verbal communication on her part. I "hear" what she's thinking or feeling. I put into words what I'm hearing eventually and she confirms my perceptions. She is reluctant to voice some of these thoughts because her pleasure coupled with my chastity and orgasm denial are contrary to her ethos. She's uncomfortable with a wide disparity in the "serve and be served" equation. She struggles with how easy it is for her to demonstrate love (light touch, caressing, cuddling, spooning, and teasing me) to me which seems intangible to her compared with my daily service to her (make dinner, grocery shop, fix her coffee, wash and clean her car and fill it with gas, give her foot rubs, etc). And the thing is, she greatly enjoys the things she does for me because they bring her pleasure and they get her aroused for her own orgasm while I remain denied.

She's quietly loving how all of this works! She's thrilled to be learning so many new and different things about ourselves, our bodies and how we as male and female are designed and wired differently to "fit" together and complement one another. Especially at our age. She loves the journey we're on.

Our chastity discussions have revealed she's very empathetic even when she doesn't have the capacity to fully understand me from my male perspective. She's grasping my sexual brokenness even though she can't relate to it experientially. She's grasping how strong my urge for sexual release is. And how chastity is enabling us to control that urge and channel it into greater marital intimacy.

She's evolved in her understanding and perception of chastity because she recognizes how something so inherently weird makes sense and works so well in our dynamic.

I've learned how having things clean, neat, tidy, controlled, and organized, which I've always known was important to her, also applies to and has affected our sex life. This she doesn't like to give any thought to and certainly doesn't want to recognize and verbalize. Chastity keeps things under control and in it's place. A clean environment where she can play without emotional barriers caused by sticky, slimy, goopy messes. At least for the most part. There's still precum that can be voluminous enough to escape the confines of the cage and trigger an end to playtime.

She wants to feel loved, daily, continuously.
She is turned off by messes.
She likes things controlled and organized.
She needs a sense of equity; to be able to give AND receive. She's uncomfortable being only on the receiving end.
She's turned on by teasing me; it gets her motor running; hearing me moan and feeling me quiver. She clearly has a responsive desire. This leads to more sex and orgasms than she ever dreamed of.

She doesn't want to verbalize these things. But when presented with them, she does acknowledge them with some limited comment. It pleases her that I can say them for her.

The result of my long lockdown (70+ and 90+ days) have led to her greater satisfaction in our sex life, not less. (See above.) She's quite happy with manual, digital stimulation and orgasms. Probably prefers them.

 

Littleguy3 nailed it. My Queen does like to talk about sex or chastity either. However she will confirm my observations of her behavior. Unfortunately, some people were raised not to discuss such things. She completely on board with me not having use of my penis

 

My wife's alarm went off just as I hit post. I jumped up to start the coffee, use the bathroom & turn up the heat. Upon returning to bed, I crawled up behind her and spooned her to warm up. HEAVEN. Not long later, she reached down to her leg and felt something wet. "EW" "OOOOH". "My leg is wet!"

Chastity is NOT perfect!!!

 

Boy I wish this site had a "LOL" button!

 

These are such important concepts/questions. It's too easy to get lost in ourselves and our journeys.

How has it enlightened my understanding of my partner? Initially thought she'd be more resistant. She's actually open, but still very vanilla. I understand her need for spiritual growth more. And chastity helps me walk on that path with her.

How to ensure she still feels the same level of satisfaction in our sex life. I still have open questions here. But I set out to ensure that she gets everything she wants whenever she wants it even if it's seemingly in conflict with a goal I have set. But I talk about my goals and we try to figure out ways to make it work for her within the constraints of chastity/denial. It's a tough dance and really can use help.

 

She likes it.

 

Yup, she likes it too.

 

My partner doesn’t love it but she knows it’s what I crave so she supports it. A few times a year she really really craves p in v and those are the times I make her cum extra hard by other means!!

 

She’s fickle and her attention span can be short, so she can probably find discussions of what is permanent off putting.

However, we didn’t have much intercourse last year - maybe 1 time after spring. This was for various reasons but low libido was core reason. Her libido has started to rebound but she’s not in a hurry to fullly resume. She’s also mentioned she feels “safe” and “secure” with the way things are now. Not sure what is going to happen. She doesn’t love it when over think it with her.

 

My wife hates semen. She loves having me locked up
Win, win for her.
Our routine is pretty settled, no mention of my locked state for about 3 or four months, a in cage orgasm whilst bound when she thinks I need it, and apparently now, no unlocks ever again.
I have accepted this, am very happy to submit to almost permanent denial, permanet lock up

 

Permanent lockup or even lockup for longer duration is out of question for us. She likes PIV way too much. While denial may be my fantasy, its not hers. From her perspective she locks me up so that I don't masturbate. And it also ensures that I can only cum when she makes me cum or inside of her. Thats how she wants it and that's why she wants to keep me locked up.

 

My KH loves keeping me permanently locked and denied. She is becoming ever more strict and determined not to allow me any relief. It brings her great satisfaction and happiness.

 

I've been permanently locked for almost the entirety of my current relationship and that's without any form of stimulation or orgasms. Coming up to 13 months without the cage ever being removed.
It so happens that my partner doesn't like penetration that much, so it was natural and easy for her to go down this route. She enjoys orgasms from my fingers, though I don't actually get to view her pussy - or her fully naked body and don't think I ever will. Her breasts are all I ever see.
For me, it reinforces my submission and makes a very clear statement that I'm there to serve her. My penis has no purpose for her.
Truth is, I get such a lot of pleasure from providing for her and am comfortable with giving up my own sexuality for her.
As above, a true, unselfish service.

 

My Wife (KH) wouldn't have it any other way now. It started out going a week, then a few weeks, then a month. Now it's been 3 years full time and over a year without any type of orgasm. My Wife will take my penis out maybe once a month and tease me and get me hard(for her amusement), then she will lock it back up until next time. At our age, PIV wasn't happening anymore. It hurt my Wife. I still wanted it, but it was over for her. I understood it and knew it was going to happen anymore. When we found out about cages and male chastity, it was a game changer. My Wife read about it and found out how much it benefitted her. For maybe 5-7 years before we started MC, our sex live was pretty dead. Now my Wife has more orgasms and enjoys our lifestyle much more than before. She has told me many times, that she wished she knew about MC years ago and that she would have had me in a cage from the start. I always wonder how I would have taken it. Young and horny most of the time, it would have been interesting for sure. She really doesn't worry too much about my needs anymore (Which is fine). She will tease me, get me hard, then lock it up until next time that she wants to play. She really enjoys our lifestyle now,,,