After years of efforts, several devices of various designs, and so forth, I now have a comfortable and inescapable device (a modification to the MatureMetal Jailbird) and a dominant who holds the key -- or will do so in a few hours. Like many of us, ever since I learned of the concept of a practical MCD, I've been fascinated by it and wanting one. I am a switch in BDSM and straight in orientation, and love the notion from both directions, but right now I have a dominant and so this is the direction! My dominant ("Doc"), does not have a particular drive for chastity play, but accepts that I do and is happy to work with me for my needs. I drew up and she accepted a set of protocols based on those she had written for me for masturbation control in the absence of a physical CD. It allows for things like doctor's visits and emergency key access (via a keysafe which I hold but has a 6-digit combination!), but at the same time takes the control of when the cage is worn away from me almost entirely. The exception is that I am, in most circumstances, allowed to put it on when we're not together, but would / will not have the ability to take it off. Part of this agreement was that I have had key access through an adjustment period, which must include continuous wear for a span of not less than 24 hours without physical distress (as distinct from discomfort) or success in earnest escape attempts. After that period, I was allowed to ask Doc to declare, when she was ready, the adjustment period over and the full-control protocols in effect. As of a few hours ago, the full protocols are in effect. I am not wearing the CD at the moment (one of the blocking conditions applies later today), but I will see her today and she will be locking my copy of my key in the safe, with me left possessing the device and two open padlocks. It begins. . .
And, for the first time in my life, I am locked in chastity with no reasonable means to release myself. Doc and I weren't able to work this one in person, but she has the combination to the keysafe and I do not. Nor do I have any way to get it save from her, or playing "guess a number from 0 to 9,999." I have an unavoidable need for release Wednesday morning, but we're new to this!
It's now only been about 10 hours -- and I've worn the device significantly longer when I had a key -- but the results are very powerful. The required journal for reactions and desires to masturbate is getting rather long . . . Much more so than the analogous journal did before the locks clicked. Of course, part of that is that I decided to watch some porn before bed. Not that I had hopes of getting off, but to reinforce at a deep level that I do not have such hopes -- sort of like struggling against heavy chain in a bondage scene. Some of the intense and frequent desire to masturbate is reactance, but some is the sensation of the device. It's a Jailbird, appropriately sized, and there are certain physical effects. In particular, when I start to get hard, the limitation is a squeeze, not completely unlike a hand or a vagina. This gets me close to feeling like I'm about to come, but there's no way to build up friction. I know to be careful what I wish for, but this is working, physically and psychologically, better than I had hoped!
And the release code came through, after about 32 hours for the first time truly locked up (I have an appointment in another 5 hours to which I could not have worn it). A powerful experience, and I look forward to more, especially when there is not the certainty of a tightly limited timeframe. After next Wed., there's a period of some weeks when there are no limitations (from my schedule) on Doc's will for the belt. Time to reflect . . .
(from my journal for Doc) 2250: Locked You know parts of this one! During the evening, I’d been debating asking about being locked up tonight, for however long -- at least with the “stop condition” being as late as next Wed. for the [doctor]. But I resisted, and was rewarded. I was chained, blindfolded, and gagged. You put on the condom and told me to enjoy the sex, because I knew what was coming next. I came in record time, which was annoying in its own way! It took us awhile to get the device on afterward, but the lock clicked, and that was it. You secured my key, and I now do not know whether unlocking will be this (Sat.) morning, Wed., or anywhere in between. Tremendously exciting. It took awhile of adjusting to be ready for sleep. It’s my dream come true.
Doc sent me the code and directed me to release myself. It was 59 hours, which is clear new high for me, regardless of who held the key. All the better since this was the second in which I didn't and the first when she'd applied the lock herself. The freedom feels slightly odd, and brings its own tension. Per our contract, I am permitted and required to masturbate once in every 48-hour period while free. Do I do so now, in case the direction the relocking comes in 2 hours? Then it will be at minimum another 48. Do I wait a while to space it out and risk missing the chance? Decisions, decisions!
A while between updates -- some health issues, and other things. But things are going superbly. This experience is still every bit as good or better than I'd always fantasized. After a series of medical appointments, Doc took me home last Thursday morning. Per our contract, I am permitted to ask to put on the belt myself when we are apart, but of course I have no control over when it will be taken off. This was her reply when I sent the request Thursday afternoon: "i was actually planning to have you back in the CD tonight, but given that you've asked i'm much more inclined to torment you more than originally planned..." And she did. We spent Friday afternoon to Sunday evening together. Friday she told me that she was setting a ratio for the weekend -- for every 5 orgasms I gave her, I'd get 1. I managed one Sunday afternoon . . . (though the delay was in part because I was thoroughly restrained while she gave herself 3 Saturday evening -- those didn't count for me) After I went home, I got an instruction at 7pm: "you have until midnight to clean the CD, enjoy a bit of freedom and be back in chastity" I still am . . .
After the last report, I had to get unlocked for an unplanned medical appointment that afternoon. I'd been out for a single six-hour span out of about five days -- and that because Doc wanted sex that day. if not for the doctor, who knows how long it would have been? I went back in Wednesday afternoon and still am (Friday morning). We have a date tonight, but she also will have houseguests. I haven't met the company before, but I suspect sex is not on the agenda. The next "stop condition" (i.e., can't be belted) that I know of is more medical stuff next Thursday. My longests single stretch so far is just over three days -- that would be close to eight. Interestingly, at 38 hours now, I'm barely aware of the time passing. I'm highly aware of the cage, of course, but more in terms of comfort management than oh-god-when-will-I-be-free . . . I realize by the standards of many here, 3 days is nothing much, much less 38 hours, but this is still quite new to us.
For various good reasons, I've spend very little time locked since the last entry -- until about 10 hours ago. In fact, only one 48-hour stretch since 25-June, and not at all for about 10 days. Again, until about 10 hours ago. As lovely as the Jailbird is, and more so since re-gapping (one of the good reasons), great googly-moogly, it takes some getting used to again -- both the knowledge of being caged, as well as the discomfort of the physical accommodation. This is, of course, not a problem for Doc . . .
I'll still be using CM, but I'm moving the more detailed blogging to dreamwidth: http://sirbottom.dreamwidth.org . I do not at the moment have any invite codes, but I'll alert here if/when I have some spares.