Satisfying methods for concluding play without orgasm?

This makes sense to me. The climax has always been that point of reference in our sexual relationship too. There is a sense of deflation when a ‘one-sided’ activity ends like pegging or bondage.

For the most part the orgasm reference hasn’t changed for us. Prior to chastity I would hold off on my own climax until she had hers, or just simply stated that wasn’t going to happen and then my subsequent orgasm would signal game over. Now we just cut out the ultimate pleasure aspect for me and most of our activities would end when she is satisfied. She’s a one orgasm sort of woman, so it really gives a sense of finality.

A nice change that we have discovered together is that I can (almost very easily) orgasm through pegging. In fact most anal play. The effects of the denial and a lot of exploration. The orgasm reference remains.

With more one-sided activities (in my relationship they only really include canings and ball busting) it ends in two ways. If she has given me a safe word, I have three opportunities to say it before it’s over. The first two give a small break from the ‘torture’ the third is signals that I am completely through. That works for us. The finality comes to these events with the pulling of the straps to release my arms.

Last night we tried something different, she stated “you don’t need a safe word”
(This followed on from a conversation about how we could incorporate a ball gag into our bondage safely. That’s another story.) I didn’t need a safe word, she can be trusted. However, if I had one I would have said it maybe 6 or 7 times, but as she had pushed me to my limits I felt no resentment when it ended (more relieved but incredibly aroused and frustrated).
I think at some stage if we continue to play it that way we could be in the same situation if she went in a little half-arsed, I could perhaps get a feeling of deflation. As it’s her call when and if this happens, I’m sure that might never be the case.

I really couldn’t comment on sensory deprivation.

 

How about you crying and her comforting you? That’s always nice.

 

Perhaps I might suggest that she, in a different time make up her own mind about what she wants to happen after the rigorous play, leaving me to provide her with that experience. But I love frustration.

 

She comes, says "that's enough." What could be simpler?

 

Cuddles is always an option...

 

"We are done --- Get out"

 

Personally there is nothing better than Mrs Chaste receiving an orgasm or two from riding the strap on. And then getting off telling me that she has finished and I can go now and clean it up. I just love the feeling of being left completely frustrated with my penis locked away and dripping.

 

She simply says when we’re done. It’s always up to Her and about Her. I am really just a tool for Her pleasure (and I LOVE it!)

 

Our sessions end when my wife says that they’re done. It is then usually followed up with me cleaning up (or not if it isn’t necessary) and then cuddling in bed while we watch some TV. I’m usually frustrated and trying to calm down (not easy sometimes) and being able to calmly cuddle with her gives a nice warm feeling and adds a period instead of an exclamation point to the end of our intimate times.

 

Goddess and i are like many others here - She says when it is enough. She will usually say something like “that’s enough” or “that’s all you get” followed by an instruction like “now go to sleep”, or “go do the dishes” etc… That said, there are times when i beg to be restrained (bondage is cathartic for me). When Goddess grants my request She will often set a time limit. Either way, as soon as time is up, it is over and W/we go back to whatever roles W/we were in before.

 

i love your idea of expressing your feelings or a dedication. i could see it bringing a nice end to a session. i posted about O/our practice but this would make a nice addition—in our case it might be something like kneeling before Her, reciting a promise, oath, or some meaningful dedication, kissing each foot, then moving on with whatever is next in O/our lives. Thanks for the suggestion.

 

I often tease hubby until he's right at the edge and a few more strokes would push him past the point of no return. Early on he had to let me know when he was getting close, but nowadays I can read him rather well. The path we take there may be shorter or longer, but that's always a nice note to end on.

Countdowns (5 more thrusts, 10 more strokes, etc) also work rather well. For whatever reason, counting down actions works better than counting down time. But maybe that's just us.

If I don't plan on unlocking hubby, I make that clear early on. That seems to work out better than him waiting and later being disappointed. Those sessions usually end with my orgasm, followed by several minutes of cuddling. Honestly, the cuddling is sometimes even better than the orgasm.

I never know how/when to wrap up pegging. Often it's just when my muscles are starting to get tired, and then maybe I'll start a countdown. Sometimes hubby needs a lot of cuddling afterwards. We don't do it all that often, and I feel like we're still working out the details.

 

Well this is posted in the FLR section, guessing that your relationship is a FLR or else you would not be posting here. Also, you did ask the internet for our ideas. My relationship is a FLR, especially in the bedroom. Since she is in control, it’s over when she says it’s over. Personally, I might want more but I’m not in control, she is. I submitted to her and nothing about that makes me second class but does make my “wants” second to her needs. This doesn’t make anyone sour but if it does in your situation then maybe ask why you are in a FLR. It honestly sounds like you are not comfortable with giving up the control over your satisfaction and this is causing an internal struggle. The things you listed as unsatisfactory seem to be timers, countdowns, pre negotiated times etc. To me, these are basically thinly veiled mechanisms to block her from having control since the mechanism determines the end of play not your wife. It honestly sounds like you are now experiencing what it truly feels like to have less control over what happens and you don’t like it much. Best idea I have would be let go, let your wife have full control over these things for a full month and then see how you both feel.

 

I like the feeling I get when her authority over me begins with “fetch the paddle and get in position”, you need to be taught a lesson.