Our Not So Secret Life...

It has been ages since I have been on this forum. In fact, I was trying to find some of my old content and it appears to have been archived or deleted. It is probably for the better. This new life is similar, but far better.

I am not sure where to begin. For some of the older members you may remember my ever popular blog in which I detailed the daily life of myself and my now ex wife. We dabbled in chastity and I, like many, have spent thousands of dollars trying to find the "right fit" Of course before I could do that, I went through a divorce and this lifestyle took a backseat and was put on hold. Honestly, with as much animosity as I received from my ex over it, I don't think I ever cared to give it another try.

After about six years things would change. I would be remarried, have a beautiful wife, and start exploring this lifestyle again. When I met my Wife/Mistress, she was reading the 50 shades of Grey series and another series called Bri's Submission. It took me only a matter of minute to realize this woman was curious about the BDSM lifestyle. After introducing her to some of my friends, I then began to test the waters. I assumed she was submissive due to the books she was reading. I would have been perfectly ok with that. However, after a couple of sessions where I tried topping her, we realized some things that would forever change the dynamics of who we are as a couple. First, she was anything but submissive. Submitting to me brought up a lot of angst for her due to her past. Second, I just could not be that same dominate person in the bedroom that I was in my every day life, especially with her resistance from past wounds.

As we began to explore the reverse roles, I of course had to share this site and this lifestyle with her. I would jokingly say that was my first mistake, but if we are honest with each other, that was the first step to a whole new life. Due to our careers we have always kept a very low profile. We never shared who we were or where we were from. As this lifestyle is grown, so has ou thirst for education and community. We finally stepped into a more public scene and began exploring local munches and private parties. She has gone from this once timid person wanting to learn more, to now a very powerful Mistress. We went from playing around to living a 24/7 Fedmom D/s lifestyle. She loves chastity. She loves feminizing me more. I am still leaving to be ok with that part of it. Then again, I guess you could say I am still learning-period. I am learning to walk in heels. God just reading that after I have written it seems so crazy. But there you have it-crazy. This whole new ride has been one crazy love story with a little bit of kink thrown in. No! Check that. It has been one crazy kink fest with a little bit of love thrown in.

This is obviously the short version, condensing the last seven or eight years. Where we are now is so much different than where I thought we would be. We have moved to a new state and our apartment has a steel four poster full size bed in its own room that we refer to as the dungeon. In that room is also a locking pet crate that gets used when I push her too far. A leather sleep sack with zippers, strings, and locking buckles is her favorite. Not so much for my claustrophobic self. But as I said earlier, I am learning. This room is fully equipped with gags, straps, cuffs, rope, floggers, whips, hoods, a straight jacket and a host of other goodies. When you walk in that room you quickly realize, we aren't hiding anything any more. No, I am not feminized out in public, Thank God!, but in the home I am hers. We haven't come out to family about how we live, but our closest friends, know us well. Our friends from back home have gotten to go with us to play parties and private events and I have found myself rather.....exposed....on more than one St. Andrews Cross.

I digress, As I was saying, this should bring most of you up to date on who we are and what we have been up to. Stay tuned as I plan on writing once again. Perhaps I can make heads or tails of this new life and find even more friends who share our views on what a marriage looks like these days. Thanks for reading.

michael AKA slave 13
Property of Mistress Anika

 

Thank you! That's good to know. I will have to look again later.

 

Thank you everyone for the warm welcomes. About that bedroom...

So this is the first weekend in a long time where Mistress and I had time to just ourselves. No moving, no weekend work catch up, and no kids visiting. To say I have always wanted our own dungeon, is an understatement. We have had an "extra" bedroom but it has always been a guest room for our daughter who comes to visit from time to time. Granted she is 24 and she has an idea we are little more than just vanilla. But, we never had enough guts to go all out. Tonight that all changed. We put the finishing touches on our room and while it doesn't have all the furniture we would like, it is definitely what we had hoped for. Solid steel four poster canopy bed, plenty of hidden anchor point, and lots of bondage equipment displayed in a very artistic layout. Hue lighting and a Echo Dot for streaming our music finished it off nicely.

Id love to share a small video we made but I can't upload videos on here. Sadly we do not have any of the hosing accounts to embed. Once I figure that out, I will be sure to share.

 

My Mistress has a fairly repetitive routine. I get up in the morning when She does, make Her coffee, prepare a large ice water for the day, make the bed(s) and assist her getting out the door to her job. She has her own routine which always involves her asking about my dreams. I am one of those people who dream in full color, sound, and most of the time remember everything.

Since we finished the dungeon the night before I of course had a few dreams about how that might be used. In the dream, Mistress chained me to the steel four post bed and it was pretty elaborate. Now in full transparency, the dream was fueled by a bout tube video I had seen a few weeks back. Yes, youtube of all places has a few fetish videos out there. Any way, as I shared that with my Mistress the grin on her face was priceless. Fast forward a day later and she asks me to help her try to set that up. She is way too good at recreating these scenes.

So the set up had me spread eagle on this bed. Both ankles to apposing posts of course. Chained and padlocked. We stopped using rope a long time ago. It was always too easy for me to get out. Next, she had to chains from each to the head board posts running to each side of my collar. The three d-rings come in all to handy. There was just enough tension where I could not raise my head or pull one way or the other. Next she attached two thigh cuffs, one to each leg of course, and then ran a chain from them up to the bed frame about even with my torso. This pulled the legs nice and taught against the ankle cuffs. Lastly she cuffed each hand to this chain making it so I could not move my wrist one way or the other. No room to reach the thigh cuff, and no room to reach the side of the bed. Looking back, the only thing missing would have been some cuffs above the elbows to creat the same tension that was on the legs. There I was unable to do anything. It was actually more strict than what the dream was. She turned on the Hue lights to the lowest setting, set the light to red, and then whispered, "welcome to your new home. Good night" In my mind this was supposed to be a few minutes, at most a half hour. But all night? If that isn't bad enough she walked back in and opened two of the blinds on the windows. I was mortified. I am not an exhibitionist by any means and if someone were to walk by these windows in our apartment complex they would have gotten way more than they bargained for. I begged her to close them. Nope, not a chance. Lights were low enough to be that of two small candles but seriously??? Red lights? Like that isn't an attraction getter. Luckily the sidewalk is about six to eight feet out from our windows and about a three to four foot drop. Could someone see in? Perhaps. But they would have to walk up next to the building. Of course if they are doing that, we have other issues to deal with. Regardless She walked out. I could hear her giggling as she walked down the hall to her room. I could also hear the familiar sound of her hitachi as she was clearly rewarding herself for a job well done. Somehow I did doze off a little, but to my happy surprise she came in to let me out an hour or so later. At that I found myself with only my collar chained to the head board. Unable to get out of bed, unless she granted it.

There was something about being completely helpless like that, in which it was a turn on, and oh hell get me out of here. The forced feminization aspect of being made to wear high heel knee high boots with stockings and garters and nothing more than a chastity cage was not something I would want a complete stranger seeing. I have never seen this side of her. Ever since the move to our new State and location, she is a Mistress on steroids. Needless to say, the new room is working out nicely; I am just not sure who it is working out better for. I am told that is my new home. Thus far, I have spent about 70% of my evenings and sleeping time in there. She still likes her early morning cuddle time, so I am praying that at least continues.

 

While the previous post would make it sound like we are living a glorious life, this stupid chastity thing is getting old. I, like many, have spent thousands of dollars on devices, and every time one does not fit, it costs even more to send back in hopes of it working better. I am at the point where I am seriously considering a full belt style. My anatomy just doesn't work for a ball trap device. My scrotum is high and tight, even after years of wearing a device. It changes daily. On top of that when I get the proper sized base ring, with the proper sized tube, it is only a matter of time before the testes pull out in that all too painful way, right between the gap. My older devices I made the mistake of thinking I needed "extra space" in case of those nocturnal erections. Of course I found out that only added to the issue. I ordered by far my favorite device from Baddass Works (something like that) in titanium and wow was that nice. Sadly, once again the base ring was the wrong size (got bad advice preorder from someone else) and it literally cut into my scrotum. That took weeks to heal. Of course I can send it back but the repair costs, and the shipping are going to be nearly as much as another device. So.....I did nothing. Its frustrating because my Mistress really wants that last bit of full control. I would very much love to give it to her. It appears if I am going to stay in the ball trap arena, I need to find someone who can add an extra bar to keep the testes at bay. I am a grower more than a shower. With that said the tube needs to be small enough to not allow any growth to do its job. The base ring needs to be big enough not to cut into me. The difference is this large gap. UGH!

Mistress doesn't like the belt idea. She wants to be able to tease and torment me. So as much as I would like to say we are living this chaste life all the way.....not so much. When my ticker says I have been locked up for so long, it really means I have been denied. I get maybe a week in before the irritation or pull out takes place then it is a couple days to heal. If any of you have any advice for me, please chime in. This literally is the last missing puzzle piece to live an otherwise fully committed 24/7/365 FLM D/s lifestyle.

 

Its funny you meantion a shaft only option via a piercing. We have discussed that in great length. Besides the fear of the piercing, I am worried about migration. On top of that I was led to believe it is at least 60-90 days before they recommend using a chastity device with such piercing. I am not a patient person, and Mistress is even worse. LOL But that is on our option list. I would like to hear from people who have actually done it, who had the same apprehensions I do. Every one I know who has one also has 20 other piercings and it is not an issue at all. I have none, and that is a BIG issue with me. lol

 

If Mistress has a favorite torment for me, I would say it would be our leather sleep sack. I used to think it was just simple for her to use and that was why. Last night, it wasn't a simple set up. I was fully prepared to walk in to her room as it was the last night for me to be hoe before a seven day work travel event. I was quickly corrected of my error in thinking as she called me into out dungeon and just pointed to the sleep sack already laid out on the bed. My heart sank. I really wasn't in the mood for "that" thing and tried to offer up some alternatives. Before I even got my mouth open she silenced me telling me she did not want to hear it. In I went. Each arm in the corresponding internal arm sleeve, then the zipper, then the lacing, and then the leather straps that lock on. I was pretty secure. Wasn't going anywhere. Of course as I am in there I am quickly reminded of the chastity device I am trying to fit. This one has a nice blunt punishment pin installed and I tried to tell Mistress we should take that off before just leaving me. She just smiled and said Nope in that rather smirky way she has. In fact, she found cause to use that to add to my demise. Next thing you know her sexy body was straddling me and rubbing all over my leather encased body. Her lips just out of reach of mine. I desperately wanted to kiss her but was denied. Her luscious breasts just hung there beckoning me with their more than ample size and I found myself quickly getting aroused. It did not take more than a few minutes when I was painfully reminded that the cage had no care what was going on, it was not giving. Not only was it not giving, the pin added insult to injury. But she knew, my Mistress knew in an instant what was going on. With that the lights were set on red and low, the window blinds opened to expose me if I dare yell out, and the door closed as she shook her cute ass walking out the door. There I was, turned on, frustrated, in agony, but loving every minute of it. There is little movement in that thing. Especially last night as she added a few extra chains to keep me still. My claustrophobia is something I have had to learn to deal with. I guess we could say sessions like this are, well, therapy.