Without over-thinking it, what would your gut response be as to which of the above is most true for you? This is not a contest. There is not a right or wrong answer. The correct answer is whatever you feel in your heart or in your gut. If you need to think about the answer, if you have never considered the question before, then the correct response is #4, or no response at all. Kindly do not leave comments that might inadvertently influence other people's answers. Thank you for your cooperation and consideration.
It comes down to how you define control for yourself. For myself I tend to believe that i am in control of my proclivities as far as it's me who controls when, whith whom and in what way (to what degree)I live them. In short term I am not in command of my feelings but I am definitively in charge of my actions. Therefore I chose answer 2, but would distance form the 'easy' part. Sure - it would be possible to life a completely different lifestyle and deny or ignore some of your proclivities, but i don't think it would be that easy. And why should one want to do this ? Did I think about where my sexual proclivities come from ? No ! They are just part of me like everything else that defines who I am. And I am quite happy the way it is. So if someone wants to know where certain proclivities come from e should go to a psychiatrist himself.
I don't know why I'm such a perv. It's just who I am and I don't want to suppress my feelings or emotions. I did that for the first 30yrs of my life and I was miserable. Since I met my wife and was able to tell her who I am and how much sex is such an important part of me, I'm finally stress-free. Hiding who you are is mentally exhausting and I'm fortunate to have met a wonderful woman who not only accepts me for who I am, but she participates and encourages me to explore my own sexuality and hers as well.
Thank you for sharing. I'm sure everyone here can relate. I hate the words perv, pervert and perversion (I use proclivity); they have been given such a judgmental, negative sexual connotation. I assume that everyone who comes to this board has grown tired of trying to suppress their feelings and their sexuality (hence my poll). We come here to help each other accept ourselves. Ultimately, the only acceptance that really matters is our own. The only love we can ever experience is our own. It is impossible to experience the feelings of any other human being (short of a Vulcan mind-meld or some mystical experience). You are so very blessed to have met a woman who accepts you in your totality. Treasure her. You should probably kiss her feet and thank her for it. It is a very rare thing. I meet men every day whose only recourse is to pay someone to accept them. Love and acceptance to all, Mistress Angelique
I'm not scared of the word perv. I don't care if "normal" people in society want to consider it a 4-letter word. I'm a perverted sex freak, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Being a perv doesn't mean I would want to involve children or animals in my bedroom activities. Not to me. To me it simply means I'm a very sexual person and not the least bit inhibited or embarrassed about who I am. I like sex -- I like it kinky - and I like it frequently ------- sue me. I'm also a liberal. I don't care that 1/4 the American country considers that a capital offense - and would use it as an excuse to justify my execution. I'm a liberal and I'm proud of it. Don't care if others want to label being a liberal as a 4-letter word. Doesn't bother me one bit. I am truly blessed to have a woman who accepts me for who I am and participates in my perverseness (is that a word? perverseness?) She doesn't judge. She doesn't make me feel small or embarrassed for who I am. She loves me. As time passes and our roles have recently reversed, I've grown to appreciate, respect and love her even more. She used to be the stay-at-home mother. She took care of the house and wrote the checks for all the bills. In the last year, I lost my job, started my own business and now work from home. She goes to school full time. Now I'm the stay-at-home dad and she's the "working professional" -- I know how hard it is to attend college full time and I know it takes a full 40-45hr week to study for the tests and write the papers. So I do the dishes. I cook the meals. I wash the clothes and mop the floors. I vacuum the stairs and shampoo the carpets. It's given me a new perspective on just how much work is involved in being a stay-at-home mom. It's a thankless job that goes un-noticed. All the work is done while the rest of the family is away at school or working. All the dishes get washed while everybody else is gone. All the clothes get washed and folded while there's nobody home to see the work getting done. It's a full time job taking care of a family of 4. I always knew it was work. I just never realized just EXACTLY how much work goes into keeping all the clothes washed and floors cleaned. Now I do. And I love her for that. I love her for taking care of me for the last 10yrs. I love her for getting out of bed at 5:30am and making breakfast for me and the kids. I always loved her for it - I just appreciate it a lot more, now that the roles have reversed. The shoe is on the other foot now. B)
Locked Up Newb, I hope I didn't leave you with the wrong impression; I'm 100% on your side. If you choose to think of yourself as a perv and a sex freak have at it. I just want the rest of the world to stop looking at us as pervs and sex freaks. Even if you do consider yourself a perv and a sex freak, I don't. I consider you brave, sensitive and self-aware. We here at Chastity Mansion are simply different. We're no better than anyone else, we're no worse than anyone else, we just express our sexuality differently. Unfortunately we live in a time when Xenophobia is rampant (especially in the US), and "different" scares the shit out of the "normal" people. My personal feeling is--and I have no data to back this up--that no one has a normal sexuality, or damn few if any. And I think many of those people are so afraid of their own sexual desires that they attack other people's sexuality in an act of over-compensation. Every time someone attacks homosexuality from the pulpit I have to wonder, "how long before that guy gets outed?" It's usually just a matter of days, weeks at most. I understand just where you're coming from (I think; I hope). I often embrace my inner slut, and express my pride that I am a whore. I wonder why I waited so long. You have every right to call yourself a perv and a sex freak. But I kind of hope you don't do it in the outside world, because some ignorant asshole is going to jump on that as an excuse to justify his own bigoted, small minded, hateful, idiotic opinions. As soon as they label you a perv and a sex freak, they have marginalized you in their minds, and they can then disregard your thoughts, feelings or rights without even considering them. You are dismissed as being made out of whole-cloth. They now have an excuse to negate your position without even examining it, and without examining their own petty reasoning. I hope I haven't dug myself into yet another hole of misunderstanding. To be perfectly clear: I support you. I support your sexuality. I mean no one any harm or insult. Hurray for all us perverted whores and sex freaks. We are completely innocent; we have done nothing wrong; there is nothing wrong with us. Let's show that to the world. Forgive me if my words have fallen short of showing you the respect you deserve. Mistress Angelique
We're both on the same page. I only identify myself as a perv and sex freak here. If you met me in the grocery store or at a volleyball game for the kids - you'd think I was the most conservative - straight-laced white guy you've ever met. I keep my private life very ......... private ... in circles of friends and other people in the "real world" My best friends don't even know all the crazy stuff my wife and I do behind closed doors. None of their business, because as you said - they wouldn't understand.
Hmmm, without over thinking you say?? I don't know if I can do that I overthink everything and it doesn't even hurt my head one bit! Decades of conducting clinical therapy with all types of folks ensures that. I have text books that purport to tell me where my sexual predilections could come from. But I have long since ceased to care. I am thinking of hanging out a shingle again specifically to care for the kink community. This life style done well is healthier than most vanilla ones and the mutual respect between serious party/players is something the straight world could learn from. There now, I have nicely exposed something about me that I have hidden all this time I have been on C-M. Oh well,its all out there now. Basically after reading these posts everyone seems to be in fine shape. Confident about themselves and sure of what they want and what they like. Say...just like me! Must be nice for those under 40, I struggled with my urges until I was about 43-44. Then I said to hell with it all, if I can't change the desire and it hurts no one yet excites the hell out of me...how is this a problem? OK I am rambling now but well, I am excited with life just pissed that it took so long to figure out. subklik.
For me the desire for chastity evolved from fantasies of bondage and being submissive from a young age. I found out over time that fantasy and reality are two very different things. Real life is seldom like a dream or fantasy. Over years of experimenting I discovered that bondage was fun for occasional play but not something I wanted to do on a regular basis. The same could be said for being completely submissive. Fun for short term play but not on a regular basis. Really both were purely sexual play and not something I wanted to be an aspect of everyday life. While surfing the web one day I came across a CB chastity device. At that time I was masturbating almost everyday. Of course I knew orgasms were more intense for me if I extended the time between orgasms but I lacked the will power. The CB seemed like an interesting way to handle my self control issue so I took the plunge and bought a CB6000. Once it arrived I showed it to my wife and explained my interest. She was not that into it at first but was willing to give it a try. After she observed the increase intensity of my orgasms and my increased desire for her she was definitely on board. Moved on to a metal device but we are still into it and I wear one daily. Now some may say that chastity is submission and I would agree BUT it is sexual submission IMHO. Being a type A personality I am not into being completely submissive but having my wife in complete control of her penis has been nothing but a good thing. In summation, it was a choice for us. ;p
i just go where the wind takes me. it started when i read a story in an old penthouse forum about some bondage (this was long before the internet). i dont know why it appealed to me, i didnt know how to find others interested in it, would not have even knew what to do if i did find someone interested. so it was just fantasy until i met someone years later who was into it, not really a Domme, just kinky. we took turns tying each other up, but i really had no desire to do the tying. i knew early on what my position was. after that, those i met introduced me to new things, some i was aware of, but had never tried. some i never even heard of. chastity was one of those i never heard of. the woman who introduced me assured me i would like it if i just tried it, She was right, i knew it was for me. after that, i have always thanked the wind for blowing me in her direction or hers in mine, which ever way it happened. so i dont know where my proclivities came from, how long they have been there, or if there are other things i still have to discover and realize i cant live without. and i dont fight them, i just let them lead me and see where they take me.