Does your KH understand the gift she/he has?

There are a number of benefits that I'm certain she doesn't attribute to chastity. For example:

• We sleep naked now and cuddle, spoon, and caress each other morning & night. This would never be so frequent because I'd be poking her with my erect little guy, getting pre-cum all over her (she thinks semen is gross), and I'd be turning "cuddle time" into "let me cum time".
• Her tease sessions are frequent and rather intense. They keep me in sub-space striving to affirm, love & serve her to the best of my ability. Without a cage, those tease sessions would probably end in more frequent orgasms due to my inability to control myself. Even with the cage on, I often find myself trying to find release.
• She's extremely relaxed lying next to me with my arms wrapped around her or caressing her. She knows I won't try to touch her genitals without asking for permission first. This wasn't the case before chastity. She was always wary because I couldn't wait to touch her private parts.

Just these three examples would result in a diminishment of our physical intimacy. We'd cuddle less often and she'd struggle to trust me. She's extremely happy with our intimacy now. If we go a day or two without being able to be intimate due to illness, etc. she gets out-of-sorts craving physical contact. She was happy with once every couple of weeks at most previously. I think she attributes this to me being a changed man without realizing the affect of the cage.

I've told her repeatedly to ask me for anything she wants especially after teasing me and I'm feeling TFD. But she never takes me up on the offer. She thinks I do more for her now than she does in return and she feels guilty. The only thing she doesn't feel guilty about is teasing me while leaving me denied. She thinks she's "pleasing me" when she teases me. That's true in the sense that I'm super motivated to serve her afterwards because that brings me great satisfaction.

She doesn't like to ask me to do things for her very often, but she does have difficulty with technology. So she does ask me to help her with her computer or phone occasionally. But other than that, she'd rather I proactively find ways to please her without her having to tell me.

One of the things she won't relinquish to me is house cleaning. She refuses to let me clean the toilets, vacuum and mop the floors. She enjoys tidying her home and is a little peculiar about it. She even doesn't like me doing the dishes. She does let me do all of the cooking so I try to clean as many dishes while I'm cooking so that the mess isn't too huge after we eat. But sometimes that is not possible if the meal is rather involved. I always feel guilty leaving half a dozen dirty pans on the stove and in the sink.

Just once, I'd love it if she threatened to keep me locked an extra week or month if I didn't do something for her or forgot to pick something up at the store that she asked me to get.

 

No

Yes

Yes

No. Chastity, tease and denial were primary elements along with elements of our faith that both brought me to the realization that we needed to change (primarily me), could change and enabled us to change. The combination of cardiovascular disease & PMO had led to low libido, low T, and ED. The discovery of the cocktail of MC, T&D restored my libido but was driving me to more PMO since we had no sex life together.

When I realized that MC, T&D could enable me to live out the teachings of my faith regarding marital intimacy, it was an incredible revelation to me. The change in me started to happen while self-locking. It then became an easy sell to my wife once she absorbed the shock of it all. The fact that I was clearly a broken man in my admissions to her were critical to her acceptance. It literally flipped a switch for us in our marital intimacy and we were off to the races. Thus the title of my journal "Zero to 60 Overnight".

Because of our physiological / libido differences, I don't think my wife can grasp what goes on within me because of the suppression of my erections and prevention of easy orgasms. Maybe I don't give her enough credit. But even I have a hard time fully processing it and articulating it myself. And then outside of this community (CM), I haven't found others who want to talk about it. I have shared with many friends and family the elements of this change in us at a very high level and the amazing affect it's had on our marriage, but no one is brave enough to ask questions about the details. The topics are too taboo. My wife is growing in her comfort with discussing these things but is still has a long way to go.

 

The practice of chastity or the physical cage? Has she ever suggested that you try to live like this without the device?