Hello! I’ve been following this forum for a long time, so it’s a little intimidating to finally be posting, but I think I’ve made some strides that are worthy of posting about. Me (35 M) and my wife (32 F) have been playing around with chastity for a few years now by my suggestion and mostly as a casual game I’m sure a lot of guys here are familiar with. I‘ll bring it up, and we’ll lock up for a few days of fun denial and excitement until we unlock and the game ends. I didn’t want to push too hard and top from the bottom, but always dreaded the unlocking because that usually meant the game was over. So we played this game for a while as a secondary part of our lives until we got pregnant and the game took an immediate hiatus (and rightfully so). We now have a beautiful baby boy who is 7 months old and the love of our lives. Our family is our #1 priority and any silly sex games I want to play are very much a lower priority. That being said, after 6 months I thought maybe it’s time to resurrect our game and take it to the next level. I had been feeling guilty masturbating in the shower for months while my wife recovered from the miracle of birth. Then, right before I was about to bring it up again, we were leaving for a destination wedding and she said the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard: “when we get back from vacation, maybe we should lock you up again” To be continued…
Welcome into our community. I'm glad you felt it worthwhile to be part of, and hope you continue to post.
Welcome! It sounds like your wife has opened the door to start up again when you return. My suggestion would be to put on the cage when you return without any discussions first. You need to take advantage of the opportunity at this point. She needs to know this is what you want for both of you.
hello @BlueGuy and welcome to here and i hope you like it here as well. ooh and i bets if you tell your Wife that you make mess in the shower she will lock you up for really realy long times.
It's always nice to hear when you partner is interested. What other intimate activities does she enjoy doing with you?
Thank you for the kind words! So when we got back from vacation we did our usual routine, lock up for a few days, then unlock and the game ends. I was a little disappointed, but I was also reminded that the device we were using (standard cherry keeper) makes my balls a little sore after a few days, so stopping again wasn't too bad. After researching here a while, I determined it was a gap issue causing the soreness after a few days. The standard cage is also slightly too big, so I brought it up with my wife that I'd like to buy a new cherry keeper and would like her to pick the color. She picked blue, and since she hates terms like "chastity cage", we decided to name it ... (drumroll...) blue guy! When the blue guy arrived we immediately put it on to start a new session. The next day I sent her a fairly lengthy email saying I'd like for this to be a regular part of our sex lives, but if she wanted to just stick to an occasional game that's fine with me too. I also included a couple links to some of the more vanilla-friendly websites. Life got busy and it took her four agonizing days to finally read it all, and in the end she was fairly open to the idea! She was very turned off by the idea of locking me up for a year like some people do, and I said don't you worry I've never gone a full week I'm not nearly ready for that. We talked some more and decided we'd do this until Thanksgiving and take a break for all the family stuff and decide where to go from there, but I'm very happy so far and thrilled to have such a loving and accepting wife.
Ok so we’re about a month in and I’ll try to condense a month into a 5 minute summary. TL;DR we are enjoying ourselves and still finding our roles in this arrangement. So I think we’ve both enjoyed the last month of having me locked up basically 24/7. I’ve averaged about 5-6 days between unlocks, which is a pretty big shift from 1-2 days between orgasms previously. There have been ups and downs of course, but my wife has been an amazing partner though this and tries to understand her role as well as balance other non-sexual aspects of her life as well. I’ll admit, it’s also hard for me to find a balance between “you’re in charge no questions asked” and feeling ignored after a few days, especially since I’m the one that brought up this idea. We may have had a breakthrough today though! After setting a record for longest lockup for us at 8 days, I felt like I was being ignored, so I asked if maybe we could have some fun when our baby went down for a nap. She was on board, and of course as soon as we get to the bedroom the baby starts crying. Naturally we’re both frustrated, and she’s apologizing for the moment being ruined. I told her it’s ok, these things happen, and at the end of the day I’m happy as long as you’re thinking about it. That’s when she told me she has been thinking about it, and when she texts me the kiss emoji that’s her way of telling me! And stupid me, I realize I had indeed told her that a simple text to let me know she was thinking about me was enough of a tease to keep me excited. Long story longer, we talked a little bit and I confessed that after 8 days I’d like a little more teasing, but ultimately she’s in charge and if she’s not in the mood there’s no pressure. I felt bad that I didn’t realize the kiss emoji meant she was thinking about me being locked up, and she felt bad she wasn’t making me feel like she was thinking of me. Later, after our baby was asleep, she surprised me with some sexy lingerie and unlocked me. We had a good time, and afterwards decided to not immediately lock back up. We originally agreed to go until thanksgiving, but we decided one month was a good stopping point to talk about how we felt about this experience together over some wine soon.
I've made that mistake a number of times. My wife casually saying something like "it was fun when you were locked up" and then me not picking up on it. As males we seem to want and enjoy to be ordered "Go put that cage on", but we are slow with picking up on the subtle hints. They also need confirmation that it's ok, that they're not being "cruel" (well, some do, some don't!) so given any hint, so do give them that confirmation by submitting without having to be directly ordered. I know better now. A few weeks back, I had a series of hospital visits during one week, and I knew that I would need an x-ray at some point but not knowing at which day it would happen I was unlocked on honour for the duration. Straight after my last appointment, my wife was travelling for a few days and as we got up on the morning she was leaving she said "maybe I should lock you up again". It was just a few hours later that I gave her a lift to catch her train, and when I got back to the house I locked myself up and sent her a text message saying that I had. (The only advantage of a padlock over a integrated lock, you can self-lock without access to the key) When she got back a couple of days later she checked that I was locked up and she had the biggest smile.
Had a hospital visit a couple of weeks back (colonoscopy). I was unlocked just prior to leaving and as soon as I was back home I was re-locked! That's what Mrs Chaste insists on! And as it should be.
My wife thinking it was cruel was one of her biggest issues. You might never get a direct order to put on the cage. It sounds like your wife has no interest in being dominant. Her smile is as much as you get from her.
Oh she's dominant all right, stubborn even, but she's always very nice and very ladylike. The sort of person who is very gentle as she smiles, slaps your balls hard, and then continues as innocent as ever as if if she's just asked you "would you please pass the salt".
Whenever I am locked my wife and I include a key emoji at the end of texts, (along with hearts). This lets us both know we are thinking about what we are doing. It may work for you also.