This will probably be a weekly blog, a digital proofread copy of what I jot down on a daily basis to keep myself straight. Just sharing me in general. Do what you will with the info
Week 1 Hi, Welcome to my public diary if you will where I want to catalogue how life is treating me. I may update this frequently at first but hope that this gives me something to look back to. To those who may just find me, Hi!!!!! You can call me Sydney. I decided on the 29th of March 2021, to be myself, my femme self again after 5 years of a bunch of issues which you can read on my about me. The first week involved goal setting, Making a bunch of friends on FetLife, and buying some things. In terms of goal setting, I have 2 major goals at the moment. My body and My clothes/toys My Body..... Let's face it I started off at 97kg and being 163 cm that's not great. This letting go of my body mainly happened as I didn't feel the need to take care of it if I couldn't look pretty. So I started working out, counting calories to maintain a deficit and bought a clothes tape measure to make sure I keep track of how my measurements change over time. I've lost 2kg so far so now I'm 95kg and I'm hoping to go down to 49.4 if possible which is super difficult I know but not impossible, so it's nice to have a floor limit. My body pt2.....Another thing I didn't realise is how much hair growth I have. Being single and not taking care of myself, I have hair all over. So I made an appointment with a hair removal service to see if I can get everything below the nose removed forever. I'm not going back to razors and ingrown hairs if possible. My body part the 3rd......I met with a tattoo artist. Since I've decided to make this body my ideal, I'm gonna get tattoos, something I've always wanted. I get my first tattoo on 30th Jun 2021. I'll let you guys know how that goes. It's only on my bicep but other tattoos are planned. Now for a clothes update. I lost everything before but I do still want to dress as I continue to change. So I bought some panties for daily wear, 2 skits and 2 tops for times when I can be me. They should arrive in 2 weeks, but in the meanwhile, I went to the local drugstore and bought some panties and 2 sports bras to sleep in. They are super cheap so only for sleeping. And as for toy update. I ordered 2 dildos, and some plugs to train my ass. I also ordered a Holytrainer V4. But in the meanwhile, I bought a cute small metal plug with a heart gem by walking into the store and picking it up. Makeup update. As I'm learning at the moment, the first thing I'm gonna practice is eyes, so I bought some eyeliner pencils to practice with while I continue to look at tutorials for contouring and foundation......It's really hard but super interesting Now this update may be boring, but it also has other ramifications, I decided to take some pics once I can dress up so at least I can share a before photo and since I'm building confidence anyway I thought this might be a great way to do it. So that's all for now, Write again soon Sydney XOXOXO
So here i am once again, rambling on. Updates updates updates. First things first, I love the FL community for being inclusive and friendly, almost family Second I made a video for someone on here and had so much fun dressing up. Even though I was still hairy all over, and only had access to the basics from grocery stores and drug stores. I put in my small heart plug, put on some panties a bra a dress and some stockings from a drug store and some heels and a messy wig salvaged from goodwill and put on the best show I could. I did have an orgasm, but I ate it all up so nothing went to waste. I ordered some clothes online and they should be here soon so hopefully, I can dress up and finally post some pics here I went for my hair removal consultation but was thrown off by how steep the cost is, (how do you girls do it I don't know), but I guess it's back to the razor for me. I spent 3 hours on Saturday and 4 blades to completely remove hair from every part of my body, I guess I'm now going to have to maintain it well IN terms of weight I lost another kilo (yay!) And in terms of dressing, I wore panties for a whole week straight. Tonight is laundry night so ill probably be up till late. Anyone who wants to message me can and should cuz ill probably reply since I need to stay up anyway
As they say how time flies when you're enjoying yourself. It's been 3 weeks of me coming back to terms with who I actually am. And honestly, I'm a lot happier in general. Per usual, this is a life update. My clothes and wigs finally arrived, but with the current shipping times, 3 weeks to wait isn't too bad. Now I only need to wait so I'm alone at home so I can try on all my outfits. I've still been wearing my panties, every day all the time. I've also taken to wearing a cami top to bed. I've shaved my entire body nose down and god the sensations, omg I just love the feel of things on my skin. And finally, I bought myself a chastity cage. It's a Holy Trainer and keeps me on the edge, but honestly, I think my femme side enjoys it. I haven't been able to wear it longer than 8 hours yet, but I'm building up. I'm also hoping that by next weekend I can sleep in it. However, even if I can't wear it I'm still trying (and successfully so far, to not cum. I've edged, but I think when I cum next I should be dressed as who I am. And if shipping info is accurate I should finally have something other than my tiny plug to satiate my other pleasure orfice soon. That's all for now folks!
Hello! First Things First. I asked a mistress I found on a forum(not on this one) if she'd be willing to train me. And SHE AGREED!!!! So far mostly we're ironing out methods for long-distance training. I guess ill see what she allows me to tell you. She has 1 rule though: During Training no talking to other doms, as I am hers. So anyway updates: So My clothes arrived.......But everyone is bloody home for the next 2 weeks...... and even the long weekend. Damm Pandemic!!!! I can't even try them on goddammit! I lost some more weight! I'm now 93 so that's a kilo a week so far. I'm hitting my targets baby!!!! Panties panties panties......that's pretty much what I wear nowadays under my clothes. Also the chastity cage. So far 7 days with a cleaning removal (10 minutes) on day 4. So to get over my horniness, my shower times have increased by 20 minutes. I have a new 6.5-inch friend who's in and out of me for 20 minutes every shower. And final update I feel Happier. Honestly, I feel more confident, motivated, focused and just generally less stressed. Almost as if (excuse the overused metaphor) a weight was life off somewhere.
This is an out of sequence update. Here i am 8 dayd in my HTV4 short and 50cm combo and its been great. I went running and everything in it. But today at work while i was on my chair. I felt my idiotic penis shrink back and the whole cage come off. It escaped. I guess i either need to order a nano or a new metal cage..... Sigh 4 weeks to ship no matter what i choose.
Week 5! An interesting Week to say the least Hello! Firstly, an update on Mistress's rule, I am allowed to talk to Doms, just need to let them know I am owned and cant play unless mistress says okay, but I can make friends!!!! So now at least I can continue my goal of making friends in this lovely community I now call home! And now for your scheduled life updates! I finally got to dress up! And even put on some mascara! Damm I felt pretty!! haha but seriously I felt free and normal. I didn't make it sexual, just hung out in a body and clothes I felt comfortable in. One question for anyone reading this post and willing to help, I'm having trouble identifying my shade of Foundation! SO if anyone knows any friendly stores in SG where I can walk in and get a consultation without it being awkward for the other person or just flat out being refused, it would be great if you comment or DM me!. Weight Loss Updates! I'm now 92.1 so that's almost another kilo this week. Unfortunate side Effect is my clothes which I ordered 4 weeks ago are no loose.... Oh well I guess Ill make do for now until I've reached my ideal before ordering some more!. Underwear & Chastity.... so other than Panties, I've also started wearing sports bras. Helps me feel somewhat dressed on a daily basis without needing to go all out. As for Chastity today is Day 15. I had some trouble on night 14 but I managed to keep myself locked and chaste. I now have 2 shower friends and one friend for Mistress's Use only. Other than my 6.5 inch friend, I now have a 9 inch friend I'm training on (damm I wish I had a space small enough to spit-roast myself!) Also I ended up buying a Hush so Mistress can remotely play, we had one play session and it was a lot of fun not being in control! Honestly even though I didn't finish, just the experience of not being in control was intriguing and made me want to give up more control! Also you may not have seen my funny note, but I did try some new lube! Worked great, but a pain to clean up. I think Ill stick to water-based for now!. This Para is a bit more about hormones....so you can skip it if not interested, but I started taking Spiro, E and some Finastride. I checked my blood first and plan to keep it as monitored without telling my GP why. So far its been about 3 days and I haven't noticed anything yet. Now about emotions, I've been more focused, more confident and generally happier and apparently its noticeable. I went out with some vanilla friends for photography yesterday (they don't know about the real me) and they said I seems happier than in the 4-5 years they've known me. I played it off as just being less stressed, but its soooo nice to know its not just integral feeling due to excitement but in general my taciturn male self also seems happier. Also..... If you're reading this then leave a comment(if you're comfortable of course). It's nice to know people are reading. Plus one of my goals is to make more friends so I'd love to chat.
How has your hair removal been going? For me it's the gillette 5-blade style razors. The fresh razors are for my face. After they get a little worn I use them for my legs. Finally they get moved to the shower for general body shaving. The shower does reduce the razor burn but doesn't quite get as close. Congrats on your journey as it seems like you are finding your true self and that happiness shows.
I actually found a new way on reddit recently! Its a delipidation cream first, followed by shaving gel with a womens razor. Then moisturiser! So far the smoothest skin ive had. I do seem to suffer from strawberry skin though, so now looking into exfoliators to help out in that rehard!
Yep its nice finally becoming myself. And one more thing is i think I'm Trans or non binary, but definitely i dont feel comfortable calling myself just male anymore but o would like to explore myself more before giving a proper label to it!
Hi Syd, luckily I follow CdFrancine and her post on your blog allowed me to read your fascinating journey. Some CM Gurlfriends and I, Chat on CM, one subject which come up regularly, is taking our feminisation to another level. Two of us keep discussing the point and would both of us have a great desire to proceed. We both have one major problem and that is she is in her last sixties and I am 72, so the possibility to join your journey is closed to us. I wish that 50 years ago I had been exposed to the necessary information to consider that journey. My Wife and KH knew when we first meet that I had a feminine side, to which I was unaware. We have spoken since on this subject and my Wife would have been in full support for me to have taken that journey, BTW our 50th wedding anniversary is Feb next year. I look forward to your continued blog, to which I am now following you. I wish to congratulate you on your journey in finding the true Syd and that you find the happiness you deserve.
Awww thats so sweet of you to say! I hope i can bring some joy tou yourself and some others with my journey, and that just gives me more motivation knowing i have people who want me to succeed! Im genuinely tearing a bit right niw due to happiness! Virtual Hugs and kisses! Also 50 years! What a milestone! I hope you have a lit of fun in the lead up to, the day itself and the many more years to come afterwards!
It looks like you are well on your way to finding inner peace. There will be bumps in the road, but keep moving forward. Good luck.
Thank you, I hope the bumps are, small few and far inbetween. Yep definitely, im finally happier in my skin!
Week 6! Started high finished low... So Hello, As I write this today I'm at a low point. I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm writing to vent and get stuff off my chest I started off the week on a high, and was super motivated, happy and excited, all the way till about Friday. I had fun keeping up with everything, dressing on Thursday, and generally keeping up with my goals. I lost some weight, I kept up with my new pills, I made sure I got enough sleep. I even made time for my hobbies. However this morning (Sunday) I woke up and just felt down.....I didn't do anything today. I just kind of watched shows. and didn't have the mood to do anything, not even eat. I left my room and the anime site about a total of 3 times today. And That's not okay!. I really need to realize that today is what I'm gonna call a mental break day. IE DONT USE YOUR BRAIN!!!!LET IT REST! Hopefully tomorrow morning is better!. Not very detailed today mainly cuz my brain is fizzled out. So to everyone out there, that's it for this week folks, ill add a comment to this post depending on my mood tomorrow morning. Peace out!
Sorry to read that your week has gone very flat. The one upside to feeling down is that you can relish the good times. I am glad to read that you are continuing to make your weight goal and made time for your hobbies. In your pictures we can see a happy contented person so please keep positive after all ‘tomorrow is another day’
Don't dwell on the negative things. You are doing great. So you had a small hiccup, it happens. Great work on the weight loss.
Yes today is another day. Still a bit more sombre feeling than I'd like but definitely not as brain dead as yesterday. Thank you for your message!