Joker's needed.

OMG that was terrible lol

 

Guinevere's chastity

King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the wizard was showing him his latest invention. A chastity belt with a rather large hole in the most>obvious place.

"This is no good, Merlin!" the King exclaimed,"just look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect the Queen?"

"Ah, sire, just observe," said Merlin. He then took an old magicwand and inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two.

"Merlin, you are a genius!" exclaimed the King. "Now I canleave knowing the Queen is protected.

After putting the Queen in the device he set out on his Crusade. Several months passed and upon the King's return he mmediately assembled all of his knights in the courtyard for a 'short arm' inspection.Sure enough, each one was either amputated or damaged, obviously by the guillotine. All of them except Sir Galahad.
"Only you" KingArthur exclaimed "my one and only true knight! Only you of all my nobles! What is in my power to grant you, name it and it is yours!"

But alas, Sir Galahad was speechless. :licking:

 

You know your old when, you don't trust you farts anymore, and never waist an Hard-On.

That's too close to home, Missy Tanya

 

Horse, A Chicken & A Harley:

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.
Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.

Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.
Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.

After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!


Happy and proud, the chicken rode
the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.


A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over,
and straddled the large puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thingy and he would then lift him out of the pit.


The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story??
(yep, you betcha, there is a moral!)


'When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley to Pick Up Chicks!

BeDazzled :character0180: