After a while, I managed to get myvanilla wife to be my keyholder. She took it well and no big questions. We create some conditions, rules, and even limits and punishments, within what it considers normal. Obviously she's not a dominatrix, nor does she have a spirit to help her on this path, but she willingly accepted the game. As I already had a cage i have used willingly (she knows), it was not difficult for me to endure locked the first 3 days, however, at the end of the third day she asked me to give her pleasure. I work on her body through very tasty and prolonged foreplay and took her to orgasm through oral sex. After that she gave me the key and asked me to remove the cage and penetrate it... without cumming. When i removing the cage... Frustration. Huge frustration for me and annoyance for her. My penis basically got soft. I felt frustrated because I wanted to give her something she understood and began to internalize about chastity and i couldn't, and I felt that by failing, she may have thought that after all the game of chastity doesn't bring her that much pleasure, because when she unlocked me so that the penetrate... withered! Is this normal? There will be some reason for this!
Don’t worry about it. Your brain may have been going bonkers. It happens. She got a nice orgasm from oral. Don’t get performance anxiety and make it worse. You stated your wants and worries. Did she have a good time? Was she over concerned about your penis not getting hard? Maybe keep it simple. Focus on what you enjoyed in your head. Smile. Have a sense of humor. Ask if you can try again. I’m shooting from the hip here.
Yes, she like ti from the oral but I don't think she have been completely satisfied, otherwise why would you ask me to penetrate it! This morning I still pondered talking to her, apologizing and even giving up, but I shutting up and coming to work... locked again. I'm afraid that a second equal moment will make it fade, what I was able to build in her mind about my chastity and what she could gain!
Not unknown for a caged cock to "fail" when called upon! Maybe it's all the excitement at the thought of being free, who knows! With regards to your wife not being completely satisfied by your oral efforts. Well I think a lot of women get this "I've cum it's only fair he cums" thing. It's a bit of the guilt thing if she doesn't "let" you cum! Most women like to please their men and men like to cum! It can take a while for your better half to get used to the idea that it's not necessary for you to cum to enjoy sex! Remember our wives love us that's one of the reasons they allow us share an intimate relationship with them. We who have wives who keep us chaste are indeed very fortunate indeed. After all 99% of the time chastity is our idea!
I’ve had this almost every time. It takes a day of being un-caged for it to work normally I do find that if I wear a belt which had lots of room to grow and ‘do it’s thing’ during the night/morning, it works great straight away. I wish I could wear the belt all the time!
Seems strange... and maybe even difficult to let my wife have pleasure only by oral when we are marry for 15 years and the oral was always something for preliminars on her mind. that's a legitim afraid... give her my all way on the oral to satisfy her and she ask me again for penetrative sex. seems my performance not good... and if thong is not enough and penetration is no better then wihout cage... she will ask me to give up from this game.
Would she consider you using a strap on when you fail like that? Maybe that could serve as a back up plan.
She's a little conservative about sex toys. She always said that preferred the carnal side of sex, allied to a slightly more vanilla side. Over time, I have tried to introduce some sex toys but rarely captivate it. About 1 year ago acquire this strappingly strong hollow dildo on Lovehoney ( https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=39453 ) and we try one or two times and she don't like it. Still have a small vib... Perhaps it's best to try to show het the oral side more preserved, asking her not to look so far at the penetration sex, but I'm afraid she's dissatisfied.
Maybe get her to choose something, or go for something small and fun - big sometimes isn't better - as it sounds like all she was missing was, well, something hard that you controlled. A small but well-formed strap-on could work? i have no actual experience, i want to stress, so my advice is without any practical backing but reading.
I agree wholeheartedly and believe you should not overthink it if your Wife didnt complain. I think when chastised it's too easy to try and find meanings when they're aren't any.
I think it is important to find out why you wife wanted you to penetrate her after you gave her an orgasm orally. Was she only wanting to please you, or did she want another orgasm from being penetrated? What she wants should come first. It may take some time for her realize that you are focused on her pleasure.
I agree with alot of the advice you got here. We are fairly new to this lifestyle, My Wife too feels a little guilty of me not orgasming. I assure Her it's ok and I get great pleasure giving and not receiving. Perhaps work out an O ratio with your wife. With a goal it may make her feel empowered more and knowing this is your night may give you the mental arousal to get hard. As for toys in place of PIV, it took a few to find the right fit for my Wife. Not every woman wants a monster sized rock hard dildo in her. There are some very soft pliable dildos available now. Don't purchase one based on " yeah, I'd love to see this bad boy in her". Made that mistake more than once myself. We found that no larger in diameter that my own penis and long enough to reach her G spot was the winner. Well that my personal experience, hope it helps you.
I wouldn’t over think it, as others have said it’s not uncommon for caged men to not perform well straight out the cage, and you being so excited over the whole thing would of added to it as well, Don’t get disheartened over it, sit down hand have a chat with your wife about it.