I'm not sure if this is even the right place to post this.. as I'm kinda new here.. I wanted to post a bit of my situation just so that people understand a bit of how I ended up here and it seems like the right place... First off.. I consider myself very lucky as my wife is not attracted to females at all, in fact.. she would rather have me dress me up like a lumber jack, or a fancy tux.. then a sissy which works out well for me because I would make for the worlds worst looking female.. .. so in that respect she's defiantly in the camp of wanting a man to be a "man". That being said, we have been married for over 10 years.. the first 5 year of our marriage was just a normal sexual relationship.. no toys no kink of any kind.. didn't even get into oral sex. Before we got married I had worked as a web developer and ultimately seen a bit of porn here and there.. and was attracted to the bondage/damsel in distress scenarios. So one day I asked her if she wanted to try being tied up.. I think just to humor me.. she agreed.. one thing after another and for the last 5 ish years, we have played with a lot of bondage toys and plugs and vibrators ropes cuffs etc.... over the last few years (well basically since she had the kids).. her health had taken a hit and she really hasn't had much desire to have sex at all, and I to be honest I started to feel bad about it. She would almost always be willing to "help me out" one way or another, but it really started to bother me. I felt like I was just taking advantage of her, so I started looking into ways to control my own hormones hopefully to maybe dial it back a bit. I came across a 3d printer plan for a chastity device so I started looking into it. The idea was quite interesting as I often had issues hiding erections in public. I am so easily set off.. in fact.. just hugging my wife or holding her hand at the store is enough to cause me to have an erection. Needless to say I had so very little discipline down there that it was actually quite sad.. My venture into chastity was actually quite selfish.. I wanted to be able to control having erections at work and in other places.. I wanted to be able to just watch a movie with my wife and snuggle with her and not have an erection the entire time... With no expectation of sex. .. and also so that I would only have sex if/when she wanted to.. Instead of me trying to get her into bed every night and always wondering if she'd be up for it, or if I should say something or ask or just try to seduce her etc.. I was spending countless hours per day.. just wondering what to do with/to her next.. and if she'd be down for it.. and if she would even like it.. I found some articles about the physiological effects.. and it sounded like it was worth a try.. in fact I found a LOT of posts out there about how being locked up increased focus, and channeled sexual energy etc.. So I thought.. I might as well give it a try.. and just see how it goes.. At first my wife was very reluctant to leave me locked up for more then a few hours at a time.. and looking back it was good as it gave me time to adjust... We played with it on and off for a while as initially I only had the chastity device I printed out on my 3d printer. This wasn't very good as you can imagine.. i decided to buy a HT2 Knock off on Amazon, which was a considerable step up from the 3d printed one.. but this one had a lot of issues also.. ( I plan write up a full brake down comparing the official HT3 vs the knockoff ht2 but as I'm locked most of the time now.. I'll have to wait for an opportunity to snap a few comparison photos).. At any rate, I'm the kind of guy that can make anything out of nothing.. I have built everything from houses and cars to computers and computer programs, from scratch. I'm also the kind of guy that will try (almost) anything at least once. I'm a "fixer" and I tools (or in this case toys).. are just tools to get the job done.. in this case the chastity device is a tool.. and has a measurable result. I digress.. got the Amazon knock off and we started experimenting with it.. 1 hour turned into 2, that turned into 3.. eventually it was all night and all day.. then 2 days.. etc.. we took it slow but every time she locked me up it was an increase of some length.. she has Always had the key this was an agreement from the onset.. I never "self locked".. When summer hit, I was enjoying the extra focus and more then that.. I was no longer worrying all the time if we where going to have sex that night.. and this honestly freed me in ways I can't explain.. She and the kids where going to go see family a week earlier then me and I would drive up the next weekend and spend a week there. We decided to get serious about this and I ordered an official HT3, hoping it would come before she left.. unfortunately it did not so I was stuck in the knockoff the entire week she was gone, and the (14 hour drive to her parents house).. .. The new device came and I packed it and took it with me.. the week alone being locked up was both hard and good, however it was much better then previous times when she'd leave for a week at a time were I'd more or less fall apart.... Once I got to her family's house I showed her the new toy and she released me from the knock off one. She didn't immediately lock me up, as it had been the longest locked session so far, and she was concerned for my health.. The next day we were sitting on the patio and she's rambling off all the crap that she wants to do with her family.. and with out thinking about it.. I said under my breath (but she heard it).. "I'm going to need some jack to deal with that".. and she just stopped .. in the middle of her sentence and looked at me like I had crap on my face.. and said.. "we need to lock you back up".. I had not even noticed, but apparently there is an unconscious yet, noticeable change in my personality between being locked up and not. Needless to say I've been locked up every since.. minus the times she wants me to fulfill my manly duty, or for cleaning.. (or for the ER/sick episode that lost me the locktober flag).. but overall I think we have actually grown closer (it's only been a few months so time will tell), she is not a dominate personality she can't even order pizza over the phone (she gets really bad anxiety) .. so I have been encouraging her to be more assertive over all not just with me.. and not feel bad about ordering me to do things.. but she also feels guilty for "not pulling her weight" which spirals into depression if I don't catch it early.... even tho I'm careful not to say anything stupid like "why can't you do the dishes".. which I've never said anything like that (although her mom did once when she visited on a sick day).. as I said she's had some health issues and isn't able to stay on top of laundry or dishes etc... and she actually feels bad about it.. so this gives her an opportunity to feel ok about it.. as she can order me to do the laundry.. and she knows that while I don't like doing laundry and.. I likely would have done it the next weekend anyway as I was often doing... her ordering me to do it.. let's her feel like she's not slacking.. and she get's the added benefit of feeling like she's teasing me.. and I don't mind because I know that if she's not up for doing a few house chores she's not up for sex either and I don't mind doing the laundry, dishes, dinner or whatever.. it's no big deal.. and only takes a few minutes.. but when she's not feeling well it's quite the task to her.. I take the kids to school in the morning so the only thing she really "has" to do is go pick them up when school is over.., which she knows she can call me and I can go do it if she's not up for it (she almost blacked out once.. while driving it was quite scary).. Luckily this doesn't happen very often, and she knows that my job is flexible enough that it's not a big deal, otherwise I don't get home until after 6 pm Don't get me wrong I love having orgasms and if she wanted it every night I'd be up for it.. but if I thought that she was going to deny me forever I'd just cut it off and be done with this life style.. I truly enjoy having sex with her.. the feeling of skin on skin the energy transfer that only comes from that level of intimacy.. is something that we both treasure.. and this makes the sessions even tho they are now fewer and further apart (as it's now up to her).. more special as I know that she actually wants it.. and I don't come away feeling like I was just using her. We will never expand beyond this to anything involving other people or cheating on each other as there is no interest there on either of our sides... (we are both born and raised christian and still are) we see this phase of our life as a learning phase. I hope one day to be able to go without the device and not have my attitude or mindset regress. As I truly think it makes me a better person.. and ultimately my goals are to be the best person I can be, and if my wife learns to be a bit more assertive then all the better... There was a post somewhere about attending church locked up.. and all I can say about that .. is that I'm only wearing the device to be a better person.. if I'm not mistaken... that's kinda the goal of church.. to make you a better person. so it outside of social acceptability (at least for me) it's just a tool to help in this goal.
its nice to get the chance to say all these things out loud isnt it? sometimes having a chance to share something with others who share your feelings is such a help. Glad things are working out for you and your wife. Enjoy it and thanks for sharing.
I also do most of the housework because of health issues of my wife. If that weren't the case I would probably be doing them now anyway. Even if Kitten decided my chastity and denial were absolute and permanent I doubt we would go back to the way it was before.
Sincere thanks for sharing Zanthar. We're in a similar sitiation, due to her health issues, indefinintely locked is the logical state for me. As you say, life get so much happier once all that is out of the way. Good luck for the future to you both!
Thanks for your story. I am in a similar situation and have experienced much the same feelings you expressed throughout. I am self locked 24 7 365, but my wife has come to be grateful for it now, though at first she didn't get it. It has settled anxiety and worry for both of us. If you want to have conversation, start one. You have a restriction on that in your settings.
( I plan write up a full brake down comparing the official HT3 vs the knockoff ht2 but as I'm locked most of the time now.. I'll have to wait for an opportunity to snap a few comparison photos).. Did you ever write that post? This forum software doesn't seem to allow a search. Otherwise, thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you have found a healthy and sustainable balance.
I can relate to much of this. My wife also suffers from health issues preventing her from being very active, anxiety and PTSD. While I've never cheated on her, being locked up while she's on a girls trip or traveling with friends gives both of us peace of mind that I'm not acting out with behaviors I used to have (PM). Since being locked I've stepped up my game around the house, cooking almost every day. I have a long way to go, but I've also come a long way.
This is a AWESOME POST, at is the main reason I am going to be locked 24/7. My situation is really close to yours, I know all the bad feeling after sex because I fell I just used her. And the constant debade in my head about pushing for sex or not, even when her health is bad I had my wife read this post yesterday, and even though she knows my sex drive is huge, she looked shocked when she asked “do you really feel like this guy?”. And for the first time in our 20+ years of marrige, I was honest and replied yes. We talked all night about it, and quite soon I am ordering a cage suited for 24/7, and hand over the keys to her. Once again, thanks a lot. I think this single post may change my life
We are in process to try to restart chastity to see if helps my Wife's feelings about me being able to be close without going sexual physically.
I saw this post linked from another user and can relate to a lot of it. I think I am a better husband and father when sex and orgasms aren’t the end all be all. It’s cool to hear that others are experiencing the same thing. To everyone whose SO are experiencing health issues I wish everyone a speedy recovery and is doing okay! Hearing things like that put my mundane concerns into perspective. Thanks!
Seems you have struck a chord with others by sharing your situation. It is a plus of this site, that you can sort of unload your feelings and challenges with chastity and life. For many their situation might seem unique but they will find others here that face similar issues. Good luck and enjoy.
I am not sure where we will end up but our restart of chastity came from a long serious set of honest discussions about here lack of trust in me being able to be intimate with her without sex and the decades of the opposite. Her suprise purchases for Xmas by ordering cages to try for me was elingtning that she wanted to find an answer for that works for her. The renewed move of her telling me my new year's resolution after the cages failed to be acceptable fit, was for me to order sizing rings from mature metals and proceed to direve measurements to order a custom cage that properly and safely hold my little pecker. I ordered them that day and await them to start measurements. She already stated it would be jailbird or queens keep.