We had the first actual talk about it!

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Ubercurious, Jul 4, 2019.

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  1. Husband J
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    Husband J Member

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    #26 Husband J, Jul 18, 2019
    Ok, so your last update was 12 days ago. How's it going?

    I'm fascinated and rooting for you (and her).
     
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  2. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    #27 Xileh, Jul 19, 2019
    Since you had your first discussion, congratulations! Much like asking a girl on a first date, it is the hardest.

    Now that you have had your first discussion;

    - Make it about her, less about your needs.
    - Make it about her pace, be patient.
    - Make it from your heart, not necessarily from a book. Maybe later.
    - Make it genuine. Real, not a fantasy.
    - Make it about trust, it’s not a game where you get to cheat.
    - Make it flexible. You may be surprised where she takes you. She needs to make it her own.
    - Make it fun!

    Imagine the fact that you are both discussing this. You have gone so much further than most couples that never talk about sex. You have already benefited, no matter how things turn out. You have a special relationship with a rare woman.

    Enjoy!
     
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  3. Ubercurious
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    Ubercurious Member

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    #28 Ubercurious, Jul 19, 2019
    You couldn't be closer to the truth. The last couple of weeks have been spent on getting her to know her own body and pleasures and it has been truly amazing.
    Her upbringing has been very oldschool, and everything to do with sex was taboo. She also was double crossed by her ex'es and has serious trust issues as a result.
    She was always put off by anything sexual, but has rediscovered her sexuality! She even gave me a blowjob last week (69), which she has absolutely never ever done before!! I think I have died and gone to heaven :)

    I have put my own kinks on hold for the moment, until she reaches a point of self confidence that would allow such things to evolve naturally. We have been talking so much too, it is like we are falling in love all over again :)
     
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  4. Ulex_
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    Ulex_ Active member

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    #29 Ulex_, Jul 20, 2019
    Absolutely fantastic! With a loving partner, it should give her the confidence to explore her sexuality fully and you can be there to support her through it all... a little encouragement can go a long way! I also think that for some females, once they get used to things like chastity and femdom, they get to really enjoy them because of the feeling of power and being in control... and to see their partner so vulnerable and trusting (at least this is the case for me)

    Anyway, great stuff and looks like you have got loads of play to look forwards to!
     
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  5. BR_Saiph
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    BR_Saiph Self-published author

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    #30 BR_Saiph, Jul 21, 2019
    I wrote a daily journal during our first year of chastity. I gave it to her on our wedding anniversary. She LOVED it. Learning all those feelings I couldn't put into words, thoughts about her and what she meant to me, and how in the end I realized how far I still had to go and wanted to go, to be the best man I could be for her regardless of chastity. So I can only say that writing and sharing can be a good thing.
     
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  6. Manto2021
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    Manto2021 Member

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    #31 Manto2021, Jul 24, 2019
    I'm in a similar situation. I don't do it long but after a few games and a total loss of interest (from his part) and after marriage kids etc. I'm trying to try again. There is no mention of belts for now .. I threw out some time ago and gets scared. but of me taking care of his pleasure (not just sex) and referring mine. The idea is to show her how good this thing can be for her ... and that a man if he has no orgasms for a few weeks does not die :) does anyone have similar experiences?
     
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