Wife finds orgasm control too stressful

Lately, my wife has decided not to allow any orgasm for me, she just likes to keep me horny all the time. I do have an accident and a ruined orgasm on occasion. She never gets mad, because she also likes for me to do my clean up duty, and it doesn't take very long for me to get horny again.

 

We went through something like this early on. My wife is like yours, not really a sex drive and is fine without it most of the time. My wife didn’t like to have to think about when or if I should have an orgasm. On top of that she found my orgasms messy and gross anyway and preferred that I not have them at all.

We had a few months where we went back and forth with me trying to negotiate unlock times and orgasms, and her not wanting to allow either.

At some point your wife may just get tired of the whole thing and eliminate orgasms for you, or she might make you stop with chastity.

 

So you can’t have any orgasms anymore? What about alone without her having to deal with them?

 

No, she forbids masturbation.

 

Well I can relate to these posts. I have been with my wife for 20 years. It started out that she had a better sex drive than me, which created a stresd in the relationship. So we played lots of kinky games but she was craving more penetration and I would ejaculate early prematurely often. Now our sex drive is about the equal, i matched hers,
but because I was pushing the kinky things so much she stop playing with me kinky games.
Recently, 2 years ago, after an affair and an open marriage trial, from my side, I have offered to use the chastity. It really sparked our sex life I got something that I love, she had control over my orgasms, but for her it's not something that she craves. I am the one that's constantly have to set my rules and and structure, but she doesn't really care and doesn't enforce pretty much anything. She has a very low amount of discipline herself. Perhaps things would be different if I found a better device that I cannot remove but it is at the moment moment, more honor System then anything else. And I just do it because it turns me on. I learned that when she creates a rule I really need to follow it, but not expect her to enforce it. But I see that she enjoys that I follow her orders. It is hard for me because I like to be crushed and forced to surrender.

The one thing that is starting to happen though is that I expressed to her that kinky games is something very important to me. She told me that she stopped playing with me because I was topping from the bottom, and I was very pushy about getting my Kinks done my way. It really hurt her self-esteem, she said, and she said that I need to let her do the things her way during our sex sessions, and we can discuss it before or after. Because I really enjoy kinky games, I have relaxed about my high expectations, and let her do the things the way she wants. And it has really worked. If we have a kinky session she asked me not to talk, which is a great way for me not to give any feedback during a session.

The other thing that we have introduced as which has helped us immensely, is that before every session we lower expectations. That means that I am not to expect any kinky play, bondage, penetration, orgasm, Etc. On top of that I have added that she should not expect that I have erection. Cuz sometimes erection comes and sometimes it doesn't and in the past she wood get frustrated because of her need to have penetration with my dick. She has also learned that I can give her a really good head and with a dildo attached to my chin to get really good orgasms. So there is less pressure on my performance.

Anyway I'm enjoying where this is going, I still have lots of desires to be sexual and kinky with other women, but I see that slowly and surely I'm getting more of my needs met in my marridge. I Think listening carefully and not forcing one's ideas on the other person is very important. We have now better sex life then when we were younger.

 

Letting go of expectations has really helped me and my Wife as well

 

Awesome! You've gone through improvements all in this thread? That's just a few weeks. Awesome.

That said, what are you doing to keep track of the release - back to the title of the thread. Did you find an easy way that works for you and her and removes the stress?

Thanks for sharing the updates.

 

You're not alone - in fact, you're an inspiration to those of us who like to artificially flatten someone else'e learning curve for their own benefit. Well done. Good luck!

 

Yesterday evening my wife and me layed next to each other in the bed with me in the cage. I knew that there was something she was struggeling with so I asked her. Turned out that she had a hard time deciding when to let me out of the cage. She always wants to do things right (and I was a very obedient husband for the past days while at the same time she knows that I get incredibily horny while caged). I saw her problem and I told her that she only needs to let me out if either she wants to do something with my penis or she wants me to do something with my penis. There is no other reason. Seemed that was a very satisfying answer for her.