Telling and showing others

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Passporter, Jan 31, 2019.

?

Who else knows about your chastity?

  1. Just my KH/wife/partner

    131 vote(s)
    69.3%

  2. Friend/s

    45 vote(s)
    23.8%

  3. Family member/s

    5 vote(s)
    2.6%

  4. Play partner/s

    24 vote(s)
    12.7%

  5. Coworker/s

    4 vote(s)
    2.1%

  6. Only people I/we know online

    34 vote(s)
    18.0%

  7. A large group of people(from a play party, etc)

    8 vote(s)
    4.2%

  8. Not a soul.

    7 vote(s)
    3.7%

  9. No one yet but I want to change that

    6 vote(s)
    3.2%
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  1. Passporter
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    Passporter Member

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    #1 Passporter, Jan 31, 2019
    Who else knows about your chastity? I’ve always thought it was a turn on for someone outside of the relationship to know about our situation. My wife let it slip when we were first starting out to a couple of our friends while drinking. It doesn’t come up in conversation often, but We both do find it fun that someone else knows.

    Because of my sexual preferences, if we do tell someone, I prefer it to be another woman. Do you have a preference?
     
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  2. Susanstoy91
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    Susanstoy91 Long term member

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    #2 Susanstoy91, Jan 31, 2019
    I have said it before...I like the idea of my Wife(KH) telling either her Sisters or any of her girlfriends that I'm caged. My Wife tells me that she will tell them at some time. She also told me maybe they already know and then laughs...But as far as I know, just my Wife and I know... :lockkey:
     
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  3. chastity_pantyhose
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    chastity_pantyhose Active member

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    #3 chastity_pantyhose, Jan 31, 2019
    i keep secret only for mistress, but my mistress sometimes want to show all that i locked up by showing my chastity key on her neck..
     
  4. Ilikebond
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    Ilikebond Long term member

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    #4 Ilikebond, Jan 31, 2019
    Only us, we are private.

    I do think it would be fun to be taken as a naked caged and bound slave to a far away party where we wouldn’t be known. Like Europe.
     
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  5. Passporter
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    Passporter Member

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    #5 Passporter, Jan 31, 2019
    You know, my wife keeps my key on her neck almost always. I’m always so surprised how infrequently she gets asked about it.
     
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  6. boisub
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    boisub Inaccessible member

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    #6 boisub, Feb 1, 2019
    You left off physicians/counselors, which I would have ticked.
     
  7. ChasteCel
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    ChasteCel 7/6 on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale

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    #7 ChasteCel, Feb 1, 2019
    One long-distance friend I see a couple times a year. We don't play together, but ended up getting into a deep, personal conversation one day online. It ended up with her revealing to me her BDSM/Femdom kinks and me revealing my chastity kink. Every so often she asks how its going and teases me just a bit.

    Probably won't tell anyone else on purpose.
     
  8. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    #8 Tom Allen, Feb 1, 2019
    Okay, I see this question come up time and again in various boards, so I really have to ask:

    What's in it for you to have other people knowing about this? I keep hearing about how exciting it would be, but why?

    And another thing: what's in it for the other people? Or rather, what do you suppose is in it for the others? That is, how is knowing some sexually intimate detail supposed to enhance their lives?

    Yes, I'm being "that guy" about this, but again, the subject comes up so often that it really makes me wonder what is at the root of it all.
     
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  9. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Long term member

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    #9 Unlucky, Feb 1, 2019
    Humiliation is one of the top 3 kinks on this site along with chastity and crossdressing. I'd probably rank them something like 1) Humiliation 2) Crossdressing 3) Chastity.

    A lot of the people who share don't really care about there being anything in it for anyone else. They are just using people as a means to an end.
     
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  10. Passporter
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    Passporter Member

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    #10 Passporter, Feb 1, 2019
    I’m not sure the intent your message, but he way it’s coming off is ‘if your kinks don’t match with mine, they’re incorrect.’ It that’s unintentional, my apologies. If it is intentional, well that’s a bummer. I followed your tumblr for quite awhile and am disappointed to hear you come at this with a closed perspective. Please don’t yuck other people’s yums.

    On a personal note, my wife LIKES talking to her/our friends about her sex life, and I like knowing that my ‘dirty little secret’ isn’t so secret.
     
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  11. RangerCuck
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    RangerCuck Long term member

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    #11 RangerCuck, Feb 1, 2019
    The only people who know are my GF's sister, their father, and the assistant manager (female) at a jewelry store we've gone to.
     
  12. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Long term member

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    #12 Unlucky, Feb 1, 2019
    When other people's "yums" involve other people without their consent, it is absolutely ok to "yuck" it.
     
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  13. Passporter
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    Passporter Member

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    #13 Passporter, Feb 1, 2019
    If anyone thought that I was suggesting forcing your sexuality or your sex life on other people without their consent, my bad.

    If you understood that this was a question I thought what be an interesting discussion that involved consentual adults, please continue.

    This is a forum for adults to discuss a particular fetish that they practice or want to practice. In no way was I suggesting you violating other people’s consent and I didn’t feel I needed to specify that. This is why I didn’t include things like ‘the Macy’s employee who accidentally walked in when I was trying something on’ in the poll.

    However, as I stated above: people like to talk about their lives. If close friends want to talk about their sex lives, I’m not going to judge.
     
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  14. Passporter
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    Passporter Member

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    #14 Passporter, Feb 1, 2019
    I feel like there is an interesting story here.
     
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  15. Andylocked
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    Andylocked Long term member

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    #15 Andylocked, Feb 1, 2019
    It’s not something that I really want others to know - but then while driving to work, crazy thoughts come into one’s head - such as, what if the wife sent the keys to her friend in Canada, that would certainly make things interesting at home - but then her friend would ask what they are for, etc etc... or what if she gave the key to a local friend of hers... blah blah... no, I don’t really want that, but there is a touch of humiliation involved which a lot of people do get off on.
    So in answer to your question Tom, I think it’s the humiliation thing that people think they would enjoy (but in reality that is completely different!). The humiliation aspect of being in a chastity cage is pretty bloody big, so I guess the question is a fair one... for some people, it’s all about the excitement of getting caught.. no matter what you’re doing..
    Just my opinion and how I think about the subject.
     
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  16. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    #16 Tom Allen, Feb 1, 2019
    Maybe it's because I don't like humiliatio, or maybe it's the non consent part; I just can't get around the idea that public display of keys *with the intent of* getting the normies to discover your secret is a huge non-consent action.

    Now, if people just kink on the humiliation aspect with no intention of actually carrying it off, that's one thing. But I do a lot of head shaking at the people (mainly men) who seem to do everything possible to get others to ask about or discover it. To me, that's dangerously (and disingenously) close to bringing a stranger into your kink without prior consent.
     
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  17. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    #17 Tom Allen, Feb 1, 2019
    I think I was conflating this thread with a post that's happening at the same time:

    Again, kinking on humiliation is one thing; it's another to drag other people into it for your own amusement, and without their consent.

    And this is appropriate. Years ago, we were friends with couples with whom we would talk about sexual stuff. Now that we're older, we have different friends, who never seem to talk about *anything* sexual. :-\
     
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  18. HeavyFeather
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    HeavyFeather Long term member

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    #18 HeavyFeather, Feb 1, 2019
    A few of my wife’s friends know.
     
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  19. LockedGreg
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    LockedGreg Long term member

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    #19 LockedGreg, Feb 1, 2019
    I get the humiliation and exhibitionist idea of letting somebody else know, but I try to be sensitive to it.

    Most people would honestly rather not know, even if they ask. But, we do have some friends who would probably really get a small thrill out of being in on the secret, and the idea of telling them does turn me on.
     
  20. R2002
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    R2002 Long term member

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    #20 R2002, Feb 1, 2019
    I answered just my wife, but in addition to my wife our therapists (both our individual therapists and our couples therapist) know about it in detail and we discuss it regularly in therapy
    I have also told my doctor but not in detail
     
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  21. Guiness
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    Guiness Active member

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    #21 Guiness, Feb 1, 2019
    Again, kinking on humiliation is one thing; it's another to drag other people into it for your own amusement, and without their consent.

    Well she doesn't do it if she doesn't want to - I don't, wouldn't and couldn't 'force' her to do anything against her will.
     
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  22. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    #22 tecolote, Feb 1, 2019
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2019
    Suggesting that wearing a key and answering a question, if asked, is unfairly imposing your kink on someone else is like saying that wearing a rainbow flag, and being honest about the meaning, if asked, is unfairly imposing your homosexuality on someone else.

    Edit- I messed up the quote, so removed it.
     
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  23. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    #23 Tom Allen, Feb 1, 2019
    I disagree with your analogy. Nobody... okay, nobody who hasn't been living in a cave for the last 30 years is unaware of homosexuality. Further, "What is that rainbow flag pin?" could be answered "It's a gay pride support pin," and left at that.

    In contrast, an exchange such as "Oh, that's a nice key. Does it unlock anything?" "Why yes, it's the key to my husband's chastity device," now introduces the asker into a world of kink in which he/she may not have wanted to go. Furthermore, they now are aware of at least some intimate details of your private lives, again, quite possibly against their consent.

    Chastity devices are *not* mainstream knowledge, unlike, for example, handcuffs, blindfolds, or whips; there is little or no reason to expect a stranger to know about them.

    If you are drinking with some friends and sexual topics come up, and you or your wife mention that you wear a cage, there's some element of implied consent because you're all part of the same discussion. Telling the waitress at the restaurant who's trying to be chatty for a better tip? Not the same at all.
     
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  24. SubHubbyInChastity
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    SubHubbyInChastity submissive to @Mistress Good Wife

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    #24 SubHubbyInChastity, Feb 1, 2019
    We've never met anyone and said, "Oh hey, by the way, I wear a chastity cage, and crossdress". However... I have met, and become very good friends with several people from FetLife. On my profile, I make no attempt to hide either fact. Although it's never come up in conversation when we were together, I know that they know.
     
  25. slavesw
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    slavesw Long term member

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    #25 slavesw, Feb 1, 2019
    my KH and the tattoo artist she chose to mark me.
     
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