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Welcome Mistress Linda! There is a lot of information on this site and I am sure some of the other key holders will chime in and help out soon.

It took my wife a little while to get over feeling bad about keeping me locked longer. It is all up to you once you have him locked, don’t feel bad, he asked for this

 

Welcome, @Mistress Linda. All you need to know are the two rules: 1. Take control--keep him securely chaste, demand his obedience and remind him always that this is about your pleasure; and 2. If in doubt, go back to rule #1.

All the best, and keep posting!

 

RexVa has it right. You may not understand it, but just trust it. Take control. My used-to-be vanilla wife typed this just today....

" Since I know how wild it makes him to have me control him (not to mention how hot it makes me to do it), I decided to strip more of his control away. And each time I take more and more, the more and more he wants me to take."

It's from a blog we started this year. Best of luck to both of you.

-the footman

 

In a nutshell, those are the perfect guidelines! My KH is embracing them with vim!

 

That is so perfect. You guys sound great and well on your way to finding the mutual benefits of your dynamic. Enjoy your evening.

 

@Mistress Linda Hi and welcome
My wife and I are new to this and we are just trying to work out what fits for us. One thing people here keep saying is that there is no single 'correct' way to do this. Everyone/every couple need to work out what works for them. Just because something works for one couple doesn't mean it will work for someone else.

So from one rookie to another, probably the main thing is take you time, feel your way. But you have come to the right place to find out what this is all about. Plenty of info. Take on board what interests you and flick stuff that doesn't interest you.

Have fun

 

Hi Mistress Linda: welcome. The advice do far is good. Take the “good”, leave the “bad”, do what you both enjoy. Good luck.

 

You'll enjoy it here I am sure. Much good advice in the replies already. If you have him locked there's no way he'll cheat now whether he had been before or not.

But firstly, it's mainly about making yourself happy!

If it hurts a bit at first it may be just him getting used to it. In which case, don't worry. But it could be the sizing's wrong and if so you'll need to rectify this

 

Welcome, Miss. Enjoy your adventure

 

Welcome. As far as hurting him, i'm pretty sure he will let you know if he is in any pain. I know a lot of women see the device and right away think it looks painful to him, for most thats not true. It can actually be very comfortable for him. Although he may have some discomfort during attempted erections. But its not exactly painful per say.

As far as making it exciting for him I would suggest tease and denial. Get him riled up and then lock him back up with no relief. Sending him sexy text messages throughout the day are also a good idea. It doesnt have to be a ton of work, just little things that let him know you are thinking of him and I guarantee he will pay back ten fold. If you need more inspirations you could look into ideas on tumblr under chastity and femdom. Tons of info and ideas there.

 

As you can see it doesn't take long to get your questions answered. @RexVa made it very simple, it's about your happiness. Keep the lines of communication open with your now Locked hubby but always remember if he's anything like almost every other man he will do and say almost anything to get the sexual satisfaction he wants. If he wants you to be Incharge and hold the key than its by your rules. He may not always agree but he did ask you to Lock Him Up. Enjoy

 

Well first of all its good to see how you have embraced his chastity. Hopefully things will naturally evolve for you both. I think it will after reading your comments. With regards to hurting, its surprising how much enjoyment a lot of blokes get from pain! I'm sure you will both arrive at a point that's right for you. I am surprised at just how dominant Mrs Chaste has become and how it is very much about her needs now and not mine! The main thing is he asked for it, you've obliged so now you move on to a point where you make all the rules and he has no say so when it comes to your pleasure its entirely up to you. As has been said there is no right or wrong way its whatever works for you! Have fun, a chaste husband is the best type to have (according to Mrs Chaste).

 

Hi Mistress Linda,
I see you're getting right into the swing of it with an appropriate username!

Being denied orgasms for a man can be difficult to comprehend at first but think of it like this:
With orgasms, men spend 1% of the time in bliss, and 99% of the time looking for it.
Without orgasms, men are continually 80% aroused, but never quite reach that 100% bliss level that throws them back to zero again.

I saved the link below from another post on the forum, it explains how it actually works with hormone levels, I can't remember who posted it so acknowledgements to whoever it is.
It's a bit technical but can make it clear how important it is to be strict about orgasm denial. One orgasm will undo weeks of abstinence, ruined orgasms can be a source of frustration, but they do need some practice to get right.
The Science behind Male Chastity