I have asked my kh to marry me and hope to start planning some of the small things now. Was wondering if any of you in a D/s FLR have incorporated your own special vows, and if you did it privately or openly. For the record I think the actual marriage part will be justice of the peace or Vegas type of thing. We could do our own separate vows then privately. I have a few things running around in my head but would love to hear input from those that have experience. To me this is a very important. We have always evolved, but the one constant has always been our commitment to her being my kh/dominant/disciplinarian, and me being her caged/sub. I would like us to commit to this for the rest of our lives, and I believe it would be special.
Obviously we’re all different and you’ll know your relationship best. We got married 12/1 and our only nod to chastity or our personal dynamic was that I was locked through the ceremony, as id been for however long it was leading up to the wedding. I wouldn’t have been against incorporating some of the lifestyle in theory, but with both of our parents and my 93 year old grandmother in attendance, along with a 5 year old flower girl and ring boy, ours just wasn’t that sort of setting. In general, Thatgirl seems to resist putting things to paper, or even in concrete terms for that matter. I’m the opposite - I consistently wish that we could lay down some foundation. Even If only to give me some sort of unchanging framework to follow when I’m not sure what’s expected of me. But I think she avoids such things because she then feels pressure to adhere to said terms or principals herself, as opposed to feeling free to do as she chooses. I personally don’t understand it, given she knows that her whim trumps all else, but regardless, this brings me to my point: My only concern for incorporating chastity / D/s elements into your nuptials would be that it could apply undue pressure on Her or even you if at some point the winds change and She no longer wants to maintain the current dynamic. On top of upsetting the Apple cart as a change like that would do, She may also have the added anxiety of feeling like She was violating your marriage vows. And that’s a crappy scenario. BUT, I reiterate my first sentence, because that’s what’s most important. And we both definitely look forward to hearing about whatever it is you guys come up with.
You should sit down to work on something like those vows and ceremony with Her to. I think a lot depends on if you are involving other people or not. If there are no guests involved, then it can be most anything you'd like it to be. But if there are other people involved, will they also be a part of the chastity/kink life style ? If so, then you have more room to do things which are otherwise probably not acceptable in the typical ceremony.
I was thinking something private in our own ceremony after, and something subtle during. Wasn’t thinking anything like her locking me and me giving her the key in front of any one. I have been to a few weddings that have incorporated various items though, like a box/wine/nails/hammer they both hammered in a nail in the box with the wine, signifying that with the passage of time the relationship will be stronger, and in 10 years or time of struggle to share this wine etc etc. Two colors of sand, each pouring into a glass the new pattern signifies unity of a new life as one. I’m sure I can think of something that doesn’t involve whipping my cage out, or her pantsing me and paddling away. Just thought I would see if anyone else had done anything similar or if you kept this separate for reasons stated by @Thatguyontheinternet
I am in a similar situation as I am marrying my KH as well. We have not gotten to the vow discussion yet but I would imagine there will be a nod to the servitude aspect and a declaration of ownership. As every relationship is different, others input may be difficult to incorporate. I would definitely suggest doing something in the vows and bring locked is a good idea as well. My KH plans for me to be in a wedding lingerie attire under my suit during the wedding for presentation afterwards at the post wedding location. That way I get to serve her feminizing desires.
Just thinking out loud but if you're gonna do a vegas wedding maybe you could set something up privately in a bdsm club if you don't plan on having family/friends attend. Surely a dom or domme could marry you i guarantee you wouldn't be the to do this so I'm sure there's licensed doms or mistresses that could legally we'd you. You could slip the ring on her finger and then she should slip your ring and your cage on to complete the ceremony. Would be different for sure lol.
I am as thinking more like wording lol, I can figure something out, I have time and a grand imagination.
Can I just say this is an adorable thread premise? I'm all smiles right now. ^^ For public vows, I feel like some wording along the lines of "I am yours" or "I give myself to you" would be subtle enough that those in attendance of the ceremony wouldn't think anything of it, but the two of you would know you meant something more. For private vows, I have no idea, haha. Knock yourself out.
My key holder thought this was cute. And I for one admire the dedication and commitment. In the short time I've been a member here I can already say you've been an inspiration and I wish nothing but the absolute best for the both of you.
We gave these key-bottle openers out as gifts at our wedding. One guy made a joke and asked me if it was the key to Her chastity belt... If he only knew.
Love it! Maybe a cage over a candle as the centerpiece, I don’t think we are going for a formal reception, just a party for friends and family with drinks and snacks but I’m sure I can sneak something in there