My wife is bi and had a steady girlfriend for 30+ years until recently. She gave up any penetration so long ago that we do not remember the last time we had intercourse or anal sex. My wife does not find male genitalia attractive and not a big fan of semen. Although she prefers women, she has good orgasms by me with my hand and mouth but her best orgasms and most frequent are from BOB, her battery operated buddy. In the last 7 days she has had 8 orgasms that I know of because I was there but she says that is only the number I know about. She has her own bedroom, the master suite where she keeps BOB so I do not know how much she masturbates. She says she only fantasizes about women so sometimes she does not want me with her when she cums. Spoils the fantasy. Tonight I gave her a medium orgasms with my hand, but then she used BOB. She was having problems cumming a second time until I told her to imagine that my kisses were coming from a hot looking girl. She then had an explosive orgasm. Such is my life, but for the first 20 years of my marriage, sex was all about me and I had a few girlfriends with my wife not asking any questions when I called to tell her that I would not be home. She was used to sharing me during group sex, wife swapping or with her girlfriend and never got jealous. I have always felt guilty about the sexual freedom my wife gave me and making sure that I was a part of over 5,000 threesomes we had with other women over our 44 years of marriage. Plus the girlfriends and trying every fetish I asked her to. So when we moved away from her girlfriend our sex life went downhill since we were so used to having another girl in our lives and bed. That is when I learned about chastity. I saw it as a good way to payback my wife for the sexual freedom she gave me and all those threesomes she included me in when she did not have to. So here we are. My wife has no use for my penis and will give me an orgasm only out of love. She gets no pleasure from it, just does it to please me. No more though. She has always told me that if I really leave it up to her, I would never have an orgasm. She is serious about that so I have been the one asking for a specific number of orgasms for the last 4 years of chastity. Starting with 2017 I finally left it up to her and she said one orgasm every 6 months and then we will see about 1 per year. She knows that with no hope for an orgasm, she loses any control over me she has. If I had no hope for an orgasm why would I want to obey her after all. So as it stands my next orgasm is in June. It will be actually 8 months of no orgasms since I reached my quota for this year at the end of October. Sorry for the long post but I have no one to talk this out with. The last person I told about our orgasm denial lifestyle, made fun of me saying something to the effect that a sex life without sex is not a sex life at all. I tried to explain that we still have sex, much more than any or our other senior citizen friends who have no sex or maybe once on the husband's birthday. We have it 2-3 times a week and I will admit that I love it when I do not have to think about my orgasm. At my age it is not easy to get hard and it usually takes a long time before I can orgasm. Without orgasms to stress me out, I can enjoy sex more and get more of the part I have always liked the best, prolonged foreplay and giving my wife orgasms. I really do share her orgasms. After four years I do feel sexually relieved after my wife's orgasm as if I also had one too. Hard to explain but it does affect me. I assume with the younger guys that their wives or girlfriends who are their keyholders, want intercourse occasionally and probably want to see their chastity boys orgasm as a result of their sexual ministrations. I know that when I was younger I would never give up my orgasms. Just curious if anyone is in a loving relationship where their key holder does not need their penis to enjoy sex. Surely I cannot be the only one but chastity is not as popular as the BDSM fetish life I led previously where we knew others into it and went to clubs once in a while to see what others were doing and take part sometimes. I really do not know how to feel about this. On one hand I do enjoy sex more when I am not allowed to orgasm. On the other I get anxiety attacks when I think about not having an orgasm for so long. We have played the game where I am scheduled for orgasms that are then delayed and delayed again to get rid of my anxiety but now I know that any date my wife gives me is false so I do not fall for that anymore. Some may ask that it is up to me and if I want to be denied since it has to be fun for both parties. A very valid question. My answer is not so simple. It is like wanting something that you know is not good for you and will only give you momentary pleasure but not be so good afterwards. The best example I can give is buying a car well out of your price range. Thinking about getting it is exciting. Then driving it for a month or two is a lot of fun but after the novelty wears off, you are buried in debt and have to deal with the aftermath when the car is no more fun. Maybe not the best analogy but something like that. Like Schlesinger's cat, I both want and don't want an orgasm at the same time. I exist in two states of being both wanting and not wanting. There are very few resources for chastity. Most of the online stuff is about D/s or cuckolding that includes chastity. One site encourages wives to deny their husbands for a year and yet the author allows her husband to have sex a few times a week. If you are going to give advice, at least follow it yourself. She says it is her husband's wish but more or less tells women to tell their husbands it is a year or no chastity play. There is very little about just teasing and denial with chastity and most of what I read is fantasy postings by guys living their sex lives online. My sex life reads like a porn story so i downplay a lot of the things I have actually done because when I think about it, I hardly believe it. Just wondering if there are others like me. I cannot be the only guy married to a bi wife who leans towards women more than men. We have a lot of bi women in our bed so I know they exist. Perhaps not into chastity though. I better end this because it is way too long as is. Just looking for others who can offer advice or have the same situation or similar. Thanks for listening.
I love and adore my submissive husband, but I do no want or need his penis. His penis is totally irrelevant to my sex life. I find the sweet total satisfaction I need in the arms of other men. The latest and greatest is my younger lover Leon. I do need PIV sex at least once or twice per week to keep happy and balanced. When I crave penetration, a lover is usually a phone call away. My sexual relationship with my husband is characterized by tease and long-term sexual denial during which time I may occasionally allow him to cum but do not let him have PIV sex with me. Access to my Yoni is saved for the men whose cocks can satisfy me. My husband is last on that list. He is even behind in line to a couple of the women I have been in bed with.
Although I am certainly not in the same boat as you, you paint a pretty good picture. If I'm not correct you feel some guilt about having sex with someone who openly doesn't desire to do so, but is willing occasionally out of love for you. Chastity with tease and denial was your solution that keeps you interested sexually without guilt of actual intercourse that you know she doesn't enjoy. I think it's a very good idea, especially if she is willing and enjoys the teasing as well as the denial. I would say this, for I have been with someone who at times hated it, or would start to cry in the middle...I ended up not wanting to even try, knowing how it might affect her or since she didn't enjoy it. Chastity may not need to be apart of your sex life. I know terrible to say on a chastity site, but maybe you could come up with a compromise that involves intimacy between the both of you, but doesn't involve piv or any of that. Watching you handle yourself, mutual masterbation, using toys on each other...continuing with the teasing, just no denial. You both get to orgasm... just not inside her. I don't know about others, but a handjob by a woman beats me doing it by a factor of 100. I would think you two can still be intimate without caging and denying yourself. I hope you find your answers
You guys are way ahead of me in terms of your Chastity relationship. In some ways that good for me and in other ways it's bad. It all sounds very hot but it also scares me. Im out on this one so I will just sit back and listen .
Just a quick update. For 2017 we gave up on the twice a year orgasms. We are in our mid sixties and age is rapidly dictating what we can and cannot do sexually. So we are just going to play it by ear. My guess is an orgasm a month since a month seems to be our sweet spot. I used to negotiate the minimum number of orgasms for the next year but now my wife is just doing whatever she wants and there are no rules. We are just going along with the flow. I like to keep it real as they say and post about only what I actually do. I get no thrill or arousal by posting my fantasies as truth. My truth is better than most porn videos I have seen anyway.
I'm only mid-forties, married nearly two decades, only about 4 years into chastity play, my wife isn't bi-sexual (dammit) and I've never had a threesome (or more-some) but I think my brother got my share of those, Asshole. But it sounds to me, and this is just an observation, that maybe you want to give it a rest for a little while. Take some time to whack-off whenever you want, in your own space, your own room. You can still service your wife as you are doing now, and you can still get the odd hand job off her. Mix it up a little. Treat yourself. We're none of us getting any younger.
Very good advice. I did exactly that during our recent two month break Even enjoyed some simultaneous orgasms with the wife. Then I missed the sexual energy and my wife missed the teasing. I think we will just do Chastity on and off although I can comfortably wear my Jailbird 24/7. It is no more difficult than wearing my wedding ring. There has also been talk of I tercourse. It due to our size differences and my wife's bad hip, positioning is difficult and we do. It want to do it just for the sake of doing it.
We also have been playing with chastity for some years now me mostly locked .my wif however has come to enjoy it more than me and now prefers a big black strap on to my penise .I don't get to have proper intercourse at all really but I love our sex life it's so much better than it use to be befor chastity ....odd how things turn out
My wife isn't bi. We share a bed and are in many ways a normal affectionate couple. However, she's not - no longer - interested in penetrative sex and rations my orgasms. So I am not dissimilar to you. Were Xena bi, would I be able to resist drifting into your situation? I don't know. There are lots of ways to spin all this. A lot of couples don't have ANY sex. A lot of women turn out not to enjoy penetration. Orgasm denial is a venerable spiritual practice...