Finally got up the courage. She said no :-(

My wife said no at first too so I have it a rest. What I and probably others do wrong is hit the wife with no much stuff. D/s, being her slave, etc.. On my second attempt I just asked my wife to try teasing me and then stopping before I had an orgasm and that would intensify my orgasm the next time. So was game for that. She is mostly into girls and not fond or semen or the whole male process anyway. I will admit that I did a lot of acting at first. After denying me I just started to be more helpful around the house and showed my wife how horny she made me.

Gradually we increased the period of time between my orgasms and my wife really got to like teasing and denial. During this time I was on the honor system as far as masturbating goes. My wife was shocked at how often males masturbate and she takes it personally if I masturbate rather than let her take care of me. And so we went like this until I was going 3 weeks between orgasms. That is when my wife said she loves how I get when I am denied for a long time. I suggested that I could go a lot longer if she was interested in that. She said yes and I told her that I would need some help because I could not refrain from masturbation longer than I have done so. She gave me the OK to buy A CB6000s but was not that interested in being my key holder. I did not push her and kept the keys myself for about 2-3 months. That is when I told her that the temptation to unlock myself was too great after 6-8 weeks and that she best hold the keys for me. She did.

After that was more baby steps until my wife was hooked on chastity play. She was never into the mess I made anyway so to have me voluntarily give up my orgasm was fine with her. We ended up having sex more as a result of my wife not having to feel pressured to return the favor. We have not had intercourse in a long time and she does not like it so chastity fit in well with our lives. As my orgasm denial periods got longer, I needed something I could wear 24/7. My CB broke twice on me and my other tube devices made it difficult to keep clean. My wife agreed that I should get a custom made device, not only for daily wear but to prevent my erections since all other cages were too long for me. I went to Mature Metal and got the smallest jailbird they make. My wife loves that I cannot get erect in it and she can feel my skin through the openings. She likes to poke me with her long fingernails. She is into CBT now too.

She got me up to an orgasm every 3-4 months for the next two years. During that time she built up a nice whip, cane and paddle collection which she used to use a lot but not so much now since I give her no reason to punish me. She even had me wear panties for a while but since I felt no arousal or humiliation by wearing them, she gave up on that idea. We tried a few other things to keep it fresh but by the end of 3 years, we were bored so we took a break. That is it. This is how far I got with my wife who at first said it was crazy. Baby steps and don't hit her with too much. Start off with teasing and denial short term at first and act so that when she touches you the next time, you jump or moan. I found it necessary to top from the bottom for a few months. How else was she to learn? She refuses to go online to read about chastity because they all seem to want her to be a dominatrix or lead our marriage, which she is not interested in. She is perfectly happy having me stress out running our marriage while she enjoys life worry free.

I actually emailed my wife. I found a great letter online that explained why I wanted chastity and she loved it. Actually we had 3 or 4 false stars until we just made one rule. My wife makes the rules. Try it again from a different angle. I know that I hit her with D/s, FLR, domestic discipline and more, all at once. I scared her off. It was not until I boiled it down to just T&D to start off that it gelled for us.

 

Revisit it in a month.

Wife was kinda the same. Then I told her I would do anything and everything for her.(not as an ultimatum just in general)She didn't believe me.

I started walking around naked. Cuddling her 24/7. Giving her control. Then as I would walk around the house I would get slaps on my ass once and a while. One time I got a huge dick slap for being hard and a couple of ball slaps and tugs. Then I bought a device. Now we are kinda upset that I can't get the fitting properly and need to take it off within 10 minutes of getting hard.

 

@Dev810 I'm just writing an answer to a christian couple on my blog who asked about use of a chastity device pre marriage to help them stay 'chaste' till their wedding night. Maybe you can show her as it's so remarkably pertinent. Personally I think it's a great idea, it lets you be much more physical, to lie together and enjoy each other without the possibility of you slipping up. Also the fact it means you can't masturbate without her permission,
As a woman I like the idea of her having the keys as a reciprocal action of her wearing your engagement ring. You've claimed her, and now she secretly claims you back.
My other advice though, is she needs to be learning about her body and not just wanking you off. So SHE should be masturbating in my opinion, or even better, exploring female orgasm denial in parallel with your caging, so you are both sexually at a peak when you get married.

 

If you try chastity without the device it might be a route in.

If your into tease and denial, tell her you want to pleasure her without any relief for yourself to show how much you love her (this is how i feel about the meaning of chastity). Make sure you use the energy youve built up to serve her, housework massages etc.

Once she sees that you being denied will bring benefits to her, which it will naturally she may be more inclined to reopen the discussion about buying a device.

If she still dosnt want a device for you, mental chastity is still open for discussion and as long as you know your cock belongs to her and no touching unless you need the toilet etc, you can still enjoy the benefits of chastity.

 

it is my advice don't go with chastity without a device and here is my reason, for your partner need to see you been frustrated for her, that will let her know that she is the one you are frustrated for. Now if you go down the road of mental chastity without a device she will be the only one getting excited and you must try and keep control. When you are not in a chastity belt tell her all you want is just kissing and cuddling and saying that this is what you love. Because any more and you cannot keep keep control. Because you want sex to be more than that just wham bam thank you mm I hope you understand what I am trying to say.

 

I humbly disagree about starting chastity without a device with a partner confused by the needs and implications. @KatyTwilight is a person who can attest to how this can work. Once your partner understands the benefits of male orgasm control and that staying chaste is difficult when you are being stimulated, then she will understand how a device can help and is not some freakish thing to be feared.

 

first of all can I say I like reading your posts and second is that person can disagree with another member without feeling annoyed or angry.
but you said the one sentence that make sense that we will agree on and that is "Once your partner understand the benefits of male orgasm control"
if a person coming from a vanilla relationship where all her life she believe that when having sex with a man, the man must cum to enjoy sex. Where is the the wife going to get her information on male chastity.
For read time and time again that the man introduce male chastity and the wife feel overwhelmed by all the information she is giving and that it goes against her thinking on the male role in a relationship. What is you opinion jasmic.

 

"No way, absolutely not" was my initial response over 10 years ago.
Now I would never consider looking back.

 

Explain to her that masturbation is a sin that you can't get past it alone and need her help. That more handjobs isn't the answer, that you need to learn how to live without orgasms, but you have not self control. This might make her more receptive to trying chastity to achieving that.

 

Describing masturbation as a sin only works if the person you are telling this believes it too. Better to explain that masturbating takes away the sexual energy and focus that should be used to provide her with pleasure, that not masturbating makes you easier to respond to her needs and desires.

My Wife didn't mind me masturbating, she thought it was natural. Now she has seen what I am like when I don't she won't let me do it again apart from as a punishment.

 

Find an article on the benefits for women from male chastity. Email it to her while you are away. After discovering that you be more attentive to her needs and do all the housework, just to name a few she will probably come around. My wife is a much, much happier person now that I am caged. She is now in "marital bliss" as she says it and her sex life is better then ever.

But be warned:

She rarely ever lets me out now, 5-6 times since she first locked me in August, 2015. My Queen tells me that she has been very generous because this has been my first year in chastity. She told me that she is going to slowly ween me off of sex and then orgasms altogether. She will continue to tease and deny to keep me interested. Her goal in the next few years is to only let me out on our chastity anniversary. Eventually Her goal is to keep me permanently locked with no release ever. My Queen has me researching strapon dildos that I can wear while caged. She still wants penetrative sex with me but not with my dick. She needs much more girth and length to be satisfied. The thought of me having to wearing a strapon to have sex with my wife is very exciting. I long to go through the motions of having sex even if I am not inside Her. She deserves a much bigger and thicker cock. Of course I will also be required to spend my life between her legs servicing her orally.

My Queen often refers to me as her Masturbation Assistant because I am required to help her achieve orgasms when she wants to use her toys. This usually consists of me leaning against the headboard, and Her leaning against my chest. She requires me play with her hair, and kiss her neck while she either fucks herself with her "boyfriend" dildo, or uses her Magic Wand. Sometimes both. It so sexy having her silky hair and the back of her head on my chest, looking down from above at her naked body and spread legs while she shutters from multiple orgasms. Sometimes she will have me reach down and grab her legs from behind her knees. I pull them back and spread them apart so She has a wide open playing field. I am required to hold them perfectly still and say nothing so she can concentrate and fantasize. She said that her "go to" fantasy is her having a foursome with 3 real men while I am gagged and tied to a chair and forced to watch her having the best time of her life. When she is done masturbating she simply says "Thank you", then turns off the light and goes to sleep. If I beg for release at any time She will just extend my sentence.