I'm a wife in a FLM and my sub/hub has been in chastity now for 1 month . He was always an alpha male but was intrigued by the thought of being in chastity and serving me. He also likes the thought of me humiliating and embarrassing him. Showing him who's in charge , in a sense . So here we are . For the most part things are going well . We are both new and learning. I'm having 3 or 4 more times the amount of orgasms I was having before , with multiple toys. But my question is. Even though he's serving me . His alpha male mouth opens every so often. He just can't seem to keep his attitude in check. He regrets it later but in the heat of the moment he just can't stop himself . Do you other Domme have any pointers for me that can get him in check . He asked me to do this and now I'm loving it and he's gonna regret it . Any help will be greatly appreciated.
tell one of your best friends everything that is happening that will calm down knowing that someone else knows what's happening.
@Heismine4ever Maybe it's his way of unconsciously showing that he desires more control from you. I fall into this every now and again. One thing that has helped me is getting spanked and even pegged. The spanking should be pretty firm too. Both are great attitude adjustments.
You can adapt one of those remote control dog collars (Innotek or whatever) to secure it on his balls. Any problems gets him volts where it matters most at the touch of a button.
I think he needs more bondage, apart from chastity cage Firstly, do not unlock him for longer duration, say 2-3 months His frustration will build up and then gradually calm down Secondly, as and when he misbehaves, punish him e.g. handcuffing, locking with steel chains etc All this will gradually result into his mind accepting your superiority and he will become submissive & obidient In short, he will take some time to tame down,, but he surely will
I do the same thing as your husband, it is a natural thing for me it's just the way I'm wired. We are fairly new and have only been doing this a few months now so it's a learning experience for both of us to find what works As an alpha, we're used to doing and saying whatever we want. Now in chastity it changes things, I also feel bad after and find myself apologizing when it happens. What we have discovered is that I am more prone to act that way when I'm having to many orgasms, she had kept me for almost three weeks once, 18 days another time and my attitude was great. Then I had a few weeks when I had them every week and my attitude was in full swing, needless to say it's been well over a week since my last one and I haven't even been allowed out of the device. Because of this, I think more before I speak because I really want to cum! What also helps is not being allowed to service her, I really enjoy giving oral and when I loose that along with my ability to cum you can bet my attitude improves greatly....lol
When Mistress was having difficulty with me several years ago, she realized my interest in feminine clothing and so she humiliated me by making me wear lingerie. Amazingly, I have come to love being a sissy and have been under here wonderful control for almost 5 years now! Does hour hubby show any of his feminine side? (Not saying this would work for everybody, but, if the bra fits.....)
I have some thoughts on this as I am naturally a dominant personality, but I am sub in a FLM, and we love our life this way. In my opinion, you should have an effective 'go to' discipline. A good wooden spoon or hairbrush are cheap and easy solutions for spanking. You should use this immediately and consistently every time he acts Alpha. This shouldn't be fun for him, you should do it hard and it should hurt! Additionally, incorporating a spanking session like this every morning will hep get him in the appropriate sub mindset for the day. Women's clothing, anal plugs, diapers, and enforced nudity are also good ways to remind him of his status constantly. Go for it and have fun!
I agree with Starngelove420. In my opinion if you really want to change this, it is going to take a great deal of commitment on your part and will take some time. My wife has placed a heavy duty wooden cooking spoon out in our camper beside our house. When my mouth runs over my brain, which happens way more than it should, she simply looks at me and says, meet me in the camper. I have to immediately go out to the camper and bend over the couch and wait. She usually takes a few minutes to find something to distract the kids for 10 minutes, then she comes into the camper, makes me tell her what i did wrong and then gets with it. these are not love taps. I am usually at the point of tears by 10, she stops when she feels I have gotten the message. We hug and I have to thank her for helping me become a better husband and father. She leaves and goes back into the house, I usually take a few minutes to calm down and follow her meekly into the house. These are not fun, but the more consistent she is with them, then more under control my mouth is. If we are not at home and I go off, she simply looks at me and says "you just earned a camping trip" It shuts me right up and once we are home, she follows through with the above. I will admit that I am willingly allowing her to punish me, because I want to be better at controlling my mouth. She could never force me to do this, but our agreement is that if I outright refuse to go to the camper and follow through with this, she has the option of ceasing all chastity play and keyholding for as long as she deems appropriate. I enjoy our play time way too much to risk losing this, so I obey her and work hard at remembering to control my mouth.
If you are looking for powerful yet easy form of correction, check out this site: https://writeforme.org/ Is a free web platform where you can easily assign written lines that have to be typed perfectly. Create an account, and set up a few punishment/training tasks, and you have them ready to go Then when you need to correct him, sit him down that the computer and send him the link to the task. He cannot cheat he computer, and you can just sit back and relax while your punishment is imposed. Depending on your typing accuracy 30 lines and up get interesting and more punitive. You can also amplify the intensity by hiding the lines left, or have errors cause an extra line to be required, or limit the time window to the next keystrokes to keep breaks at a minimum. Be sure you test it out a bit first, so you understand exactly how challenging it is. He will find it erotic, frustrating, and humiliating all at the same time, but he feel much more submissive after the experience.
Thank you all for these awesome tips! I enjoyed reading all comments and I will explore some of the many great options. I love the camper idea and electric collar.
Just bear in mind it can be very confusing for the sub at times I have to be an alpha all day as I am in charge at work and have been all my life but then have be submisive to my wife very hard on the brain at times lol but I enjoy being hers so very much and wouldn't swap it for the world ...
I also think that orgasms too often are counterproductive. Attitude readjustment takes a long time and it fully engages once you realise how utterly dependent you are on someone for your pleasure. The increase in sensitivity you get after a few weeks of no orgasm further increases the feeling of submission. I had several incidents when i mouthed off when we first started but haven't had one now for a very long time.
It works too. Some have a range of a mile or more. And you can adapt to make it lockable. Have him take you out for a drink, and then when he goes to the gents..........
Spanking works wonders on my attitude, that's for sure. When I buck against her authority, what's worked on me is her sternly reminding me I agreed to this, I don't get to whine and argue about it. She expects me to keep my word and submit when told to. It helps break that attitude a lot because it reminds me that disrespecting her rules or orders is disrespecting her and my word, too.
My wife doesn't (yet) spank me but peggings and forced milkings have worked wonders in keeping me docile and submissive. I recommend them highly.
Do you want a husband or a slave. Be careful that what you do isn't against his basic nature. If he changes to "please you" you might not have the man you fell in love with. I my case, I simmer then explode. If he is the same way, you could think everything is fine until it ISN'T. While a dog collar on the balls seems interesting, think about what would happen if he got upset and reversed things, putting the collar on your tits or lower. Just saying you need to have some good and truthful discussions without all the fantasy so you and you husband don't end up in a bad way.
mcfeely, I disagree. All of this, including the very decision to have a chastity/FLR relationship, is consensual. So is changing to please her -- isn't that the very point? Personally, I'm not into the electric dog collar either, so that won't happen since it's not consensual. But discipline of some nature is part of the agreement to submit to her authority and we husbands agree to submit to some form of correction.
It sounds like things are going generally well in your FLR. It takes time to "perfect" things. Alpha attitude can be adjusted by a punishment (not a funishment) - a caning whilst being verbally told off works for some. Sometimes though, a bit of Alpha attitude may be welcome depending on the point he is trying to get across.
Good point there! In most cases the male is generally physically stronger. If Mrs Chaste orders me to strip off and put my floral apron on to do the dishes and clean up the kitchen I do it. She checks to make sure I do it properly and whips my ass if I'm not (or just for the hell of it). Now if it wasn't consensual I could refuse and take the crop off her, no argument, I'm stronger. It would completely ruin the whole thing though, and I know that if I ever raised a hand in real anger to Mrs Chaste then end of marriage. Also I wouldn't ever do it. I love Mrs Chaste!