Looking for Advice from Female Dom, or Anyone

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by strangelove420, Jun 19, 2016.

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  1. strangelove420
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    strangelove420 New member

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    #1 strangelove420, Jun 19, 2016
    My wife and I have been into chastity on and off for some time now. We usually go for 3-4 months at a time, but would both like to step it up to an indefinite, long-term time period. She would like all releases to be from prostate milking and there will be virtually no 'real' orgasms allowed.

    Although she really wants this lifestyle to become a reality, she struggles with the idea of never letting me have a real orgasm because she knows that if it were her it would drive her crazy. I have reassured her that it is ok with me. But I was her husband before being her slave, so sometimes she feels the need to be a little nice.

    So her real question, is "is it really OK to completely deny my slave real orgasms long term even though we both want it?"

    I was just wondering if any other doms have experienced this and how you have gotten past it. Any good advice or inspiration for her would be much appreciated!

    Thank you!
     
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  2. Billus
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    Billus Laconic.

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    #2 Billus, Jun 19, 2016
    Men want orgasms, but they crave denial. Tell her it may seem counter-intuitive, but it's what you are desperate for. After awhile, she'll enjoy it so much she won't want to stop.
     
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  3. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    #3 Mistress Jules, Jun 19, 2016
    I would say the answer to the question is Yes. It is perfectly ok to do whatever you want within your relationship. As long as whatever you decide is not detrimental to your health then there should not be a problem.

    I know from personal experience how difficult it can be to maintain being a Keyholder when real life is involved on a daily basis. However, after some false starts I now know that the frisson and enjoyment for both of us when I stop worrying about being “nice” and just be Jules, is worth it.

    This relationship is more than I could ever have hoped for and it just gets better as we get deeper into our journey.

    I wish you both well, please let your wife know, it is totally worth it and she should embrace this with both hands.
     
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  4. Astarte
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    Astarte Active member

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    #4 Astarte, Jun 19, 2016
    Of course it is okay if it is what you both really want - it just takes some time for her to overcome behaviour that she learned since she was a kid. It's a development and takes time to realize that things you until late thought bad in reality can be joyous and great if done correctly to the right person.
    Just start slowly so that everyone is comfortable and if everything is okay you can still increase the time denied.

    btw: You (sub) are the one responsible for her development by showing her that you are are fine with the denied periods and maybe even enjoying them. (positive reinforcement)
     
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  5. MDsh
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    MDsh Active member

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    #5 MDsh, Jun 20, 2016
    Have done extensive research and have found that the male will have a wet dream if the body is needing release. So, I am no longer concerned for my caged subbie remaining caged/locked indefinitely.
     
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  6. strangelove420
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    strangelove420 New member

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    #6 strangelove420, Jun 20, 2016
    From our experience, that can be avoided if you provide some form or 'release' roughly once a month. That doesn't meant that it needs to be pleasurable for the sub.

    Thanks for some good responses... they are helping my wife build up her KH confidence, and it is looking like it will be a long time until I am unlocked! Yikes! ;)
     
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  7. b2please
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    b2please A fun and powerful game!

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    #7 b2please, Jun 20, 2016
    If she learns over time that you are most thrilled when you are strictly denied, and you don't go crazy, get angry more often, etc, she will become convinced it's what you really prefer, and you can handle it. If she lets you come after X weeks, and you wish she didn't, you can politely share that fact at an appropriate time. Sarah Jameson's blog ( email subscription thing) had some good exercises like, when I (the one in chastity) says X, he wants you to do Y.

    So you make a list.
    When I beg to please come after 4 weeks,
    I want her to laugh, and say it's out of my hands- no way.
     
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  8. b2please
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    b2please A fun and powerful game!

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    #8 b2please, Jun 20, 2016
    I don't know if I'm very unusual in the plumbing department, but after I've been both denied for over 7-10 days, and am quite horny, I find at the end of going to the bathroom sometimes (unpredictably), I get this odd sensation and some come then drips or even spurts out. It is not 1/100 similar to orgasm pleasure, and it's with no erection, but it's a funny feeling I've learned to recognize. So that's how my safety valve works. I don't have wet dreams.
     
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  9. Wendygirl
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    Wendygirl To offer advice and keep CM safe and welcoming

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    #9 Wendygirl, Jun 20, 2016
    Perfectly normal shows your prostate is working fine nothing more or less !

    A bit of basic biology most of the fluid in a boy climax cums from the prostate. I get the inference from a few posts above that there are some who believe that no orgasams will result in a boys balls exploding love that whole cumsept.

    It was the main problem I had and hated was the mess from the leaks all the time . Though the post climax depression was also a downer so no solution there.

    Now almost zero testosterone bliss no leaks no nothing bliss.
    Xx Wendy
     
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