Hello all, Just wanted to do a quick intro. Story goes my wife and I are both very dominant in our everyday lives. In our sexual life we are both dominant as well for the most part. Recently she and I got really into the Bondage life and we love it. Once a week we have our special date night where we just go into BDSM mode. She willing to fulfill my fantasy agreed to it though hesitant and really loved it. She loves being submissive to me during this one day. Recently as I have read from many people's posts I came across the chastity device for men and I was kind of turned on by the curious in me. I came up with my own ideas how this would benefit the both of us both sexually and emotionally. So we were both on board. then the more I read the more I realized this was more then just a sex toy. To make it work we needed to commit to certain guidelines and lifestyle changes. We were both still on board... then I did research found out about Contracts, and real people who thought exactly like I in the beginning, but learned to love and embrace it. Living some amazing lives. So what is the issue? The more I read the more I found out the change is almost inevitable following the guidelines I have read so far. neither of us want that. completely. I treat my woman very good, but I would like be able t connect with her in a way that really I could not figure out how to do until now. I kept reading more and more, and learned about Sissification and Cuckolding and how many people did not want to end up there, it was just the nature of progression with chastity. So here I am Holy Fuck! so the more we talked about it the more we argued until neither of us wanted it unless we came up with strict guidelines and timeframes. Fast forward to today and my chastity CB6000s came in. We came up with a game plan to not make this a total lifestyle change. We are working out some kinks and will post it when completed. We both agree we love our life and believe we found a way to give this a fairly decent trial run. My wife will be making an account tonight as we have tons of questions we did not see answered and
Sissification and cuckolding are not inevitable, they only happen if you want them to. My wife is absolutely not into the idea of sex with anyone else, it is one of her hard limits. And while my feminine side is being encouraged I would not describe what is happening as sissification. That implies a certain amount of humiliation (maybe a real sissy could confirm or deny that?) and the style of dress tends to be more fantasy than real. My situation is hovering around feminization with an emphasis on wearing women's clothes that suit me and are real, bought from women's clothes stores. The power balance in a male chastity relationship isn't cut and dry either. While most are probably submissive to their Mistress or Keyholder it doesn't have to be like that. The only rules are your own. If you want one night a week where you switch then you can. I would be prepared to experience a greater sense of submission wearing the device but again, that isn't inevitable. The point is this can be fun, it can help you focus more on your partners needs than your own. It doesn't mean it will be inevitable though.
thank you for your input. I would describe what I was going through as a sheer panic/anxiety attack over the thought of total loss of control. It is nice to hear from someone experienced that we can keep it at the level we are comfortable with. I literally¥ thought my wife would go crazy after all the up and downs I put her through. She was ver¥ confused and the more I tried to learn to help with the confusion by researching the more I made the situation worse. I should learn to trust that my wife will always be loving!
The panic is normal! I went through exactly the same thing, giving over this level of control to someone else it is inevitable. If you didn't panic you probably would not be understanding what was happening. Just make sure that you trust your partner and talk about what is going on without overloading them with thoughts and information. When I joined the mansion I was warned I was in for one heck of a roller coaster ride of emotions. They were right. But it does get better, and I am out the other side. Every now and again I do hope back on but the ride tends to be an older, more sedate and calm roller coaster, rather than the brand new super duper ride with loads of loops and turns.
The only inevitable thing is you will die, but I very much doubt it will be from a chastity life style welcome to you and your wife.
It has already been stated but Ill say it again . . . .there are no rules. Communicate often and let each other know where your at emotionally, mentally, physically and you'll figure it out over time. Things you're most likely already doing being in a kink relationship for some time now. Good luck and were' here to help.
@servus dominam you have stated that you are both dominant yet she likes to be submissive during the day. Quite strange but nevertheless, I doubt very much if you will be caged and locked long enough for anything to change the dynamic between either of you. Sissification and cuckolding needs time and complete submission. I wouldn't worry too much in your case.
I couldn't agree more. Also remember that being a keyholder/dom takes about as much learning as the submissive one. She will most likely learn and progress in her role as your keyholder. Make sure to keep communication open and clear and just have fun with it. That should alleviate most panic and concerns. If not, you have an entire community here to help! Welcome to CM!
I couldn't agree more! You'll see hell freeze over before you see me turn sissy. I can tell you that!
Even though I have my boy locked up we still crave each other. I let him earn points for release however, I'm in charge so I take whenever I want him, regardlessof the points. Do whatever works for you two. We engage in sissy play because it excites us not because it was inevitable.
Thank you everyone for your input. It helped put my fears to rest though my wife did an amazing job at this already! Sometimes it just helps getting outside opinions and hearing diffrent points of view. We had to take the cb6000s off after 2 hours. I had the largest ring on (I believe is 2") and the longest pins as seen in my image. The ball skin was pulled so tight and all the images I saw the skin looks relatively loose. I tried adjusting what little skin there was to both the front and then again to the rear of the base with no luck. We tried to get a quick tease in to test what a hard on would feel like but the pain was significant and when she turned me on during play time it became excruciating to the point I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt this was wrong. There was no discoloration or lose of feeling. However when we pulled it off it turned dark blue almost black. Scared the shit out of us, but after a little time it regained proper color. So this will have to sit on the back burner until we figure out a way to resolve this.
Sorry for the confusion, she enjoys the submission on our kink day/night that is one day a week. But that was something I talked her into. She is not naturally submissive. And even then she still manages to not be 100% submissive to me. But enough to play whatever role/game we are playing for the night to satisfy me.
everyone is different, sissification and cuckolding are only inevitable if that's what you both want. don't forget, sane, safe and consensual, with communication you only need do what you want to do (of course, there's being forced to do what you want to be forced to do because you'd rather not do it but are willing to have to!? yea, I get confused with it too sometimes ) Sounds like you're more like me, starting with bsdm/bondage, chastity just started as a different form of bondage. It's a very powerful fojrm of DS, the dominant having control out of the bedroom 24/7 if that's what you both want, but like others, there's a world of difference between power play and gender play.
Well I am all over my fears, it was a short lived thing. Thanks to my wife reassurance and all the great responses I received from all of you! I really appreciated them. I just finished modifying my CB6000s so that it fits last night. Did a couple 1 day and 1 night runs and 1 full 24hr lock up, with a few different custom designs, but was not really happy with the comfort. However I believe my new fitment will work perfect. I did a post about it in the CBrange forum where I will do all my future updates. So I guess I will start working on the contract. See if we can't get this adventure going here in the next few days. P.S. The Wife made an account on here but has yet to post.
Since you say that your wife can switch into the submissive mode, and are still exploring contract ideas, has she considered occasionally using a female chastity belt? You mention that you are both dominant but want to explore chastity. Maybe your contract(s) can implement off and on chastity for both of you.
It will get better I promise. We experienced the exact same thing from the start but your sack will eventually adjust.
You will find that frequent and open communication is really important for both of you to enjoy your relationship, whatever form it takes.