My unexpected life

Thanks triffed and Mistress Watchful!

Night one of the birdlock did not go so well. It is definitely a lubrication issue right now. I am heading to read others ideas of how to keep it lubed so to speak. The lubrication I did used dried out almost within an hour and once I got even partially erect the silicone pulled on the skin something fierce. Darn fierce. Otherwise the fit was pretty good. Goddess loved the looks of it better than the Lori device. This struck me odd as nothing looks as good in my opinion as the Lori device. However with that being said the birdlock is feels like three pounds lighter. Obviously an exaggeration but wow what a difference.

Well short little post today as our studio is under a flood now with all the rain and snow melting up north. Good grief it never ends. HEHEHe

 

First Test of Birdlock

Well last night was pleasantly surprising while there was the normal nocturnal erections there was no intense ball busting pain that comes with the steel device I have. Make no mistake there is still a little discomfort but we are talking very very mild discomfort.

I decided with such good luck last night today I am taking the ultimate test. I have my first wedding of the year and decided I am going to see if I can wear this at work. In times past the other devices, especially the CB line would limit a lot of movement in some of the tasks I needed to do. This one seems to be very flexible in that regards so I figured what the heck.

Now the problem with this becomes Goddess. I doubt it is a real problem but the glint in her eye last night although not near what it used to be told me there is a little interest on her part at the results of this test. so the big question..Do I tell it like it is? LOL I know bad question but one has to wonder if you tip your hand can you really have anything to blame anyone else for when you get what you desire later.

Well let's see stress...Yes Mistress Watchful said she was starting a thread somewhere so I am going to have to go find it because here I am happy to say that all that stress has helped me to lose 12 pounds! This is a good thing. Usually I eat everything but lately I just have had no appetite. This has been a good thing while at the same time allowing me to be healthy.

Well that is all the time I have today as I have to get going for my wedding. Here is hoping to a great day in all regards and maybe when I get home Goddess will be a little energized herself for some play time.

 

Some 12 hour later since my last post and I am happy to say the birdlock seems to be an excellent device for wearing to work. I was majorly surprised that I could hardly tell I was wearing it most of the day. there are numerous times in my day with my shooting style as a photographer that I am lying on the ground climbing on benches and bending down frequently. In all instances the CB line and sometimes even the Lori device would limit certain movements. Today not the case! Anyway that is about it for tonight I am wiped out! Later everyone.

 

Well I was always told if you don't have anything good to say then don't say anything...let me just say today sucked and leave it at that.

The one good thing is I got to spend some very humorous time with my littl two year old son today. Talk about a kid who can change moods faster than anyone I know. hehe wow! Well later gang, much to work through at home right now and I won't help by rambling about it here.

 

Somethings gone astray...

Wow just that statement makes me want to cry. Truth be told I am not even sure what it is. I have read everything in this green earth to get some help and there is nothing that says the same thing twice. The "Want Women Want" guidelines has one woman saying we want to be desired, chased, lusted after, the other "expert" says we want to be romanced, coddled, cooked dinner for. I do either and I fail. Now as sure as I write this I am certain there is a possibility that Goddess could read this so please know these are my feelings not hers.

We have never been in this spot where I felt that I was undesirable to her. She wanted to try the new chastity device and we did but it was like so what. I took it off and it was like so what? I know stress hit us hard but I am lost. While not her fault at all or in anyway I have a scarred past with a relationship where all of a sudden I was just undesirable to my then wife. Oh the other men were desirable, just not me. Now first and foremost my wife now is nothing like her in anyway shape or form and I am 100% confidant that other men are not the problem. That of course dawns the question well then what is. Our kids take a ton of time, or jobs more, family stress takes what's left. How do I get her to see we need to be first with one another so that the rest gets what's left of us instead of us getting what's left.

I truthfully thought the chastity thing would be great. And it was. I was focused on her more, I listened better, I was more attentive. Problem was she lost interest and I took that as she lost interest in me and I can't figure out what to do to get that back. I used to love coming here and writing these amazingly hot posts and know that it was hot to write them. Now I sit here and wonder....

I just don't know where to go with even this post. I have no problem if we were less sexual if we were using the chastity and I was submitting in that way. Truth be told it really is not all about the sex either. I just feel we lost each other somewhere and what sucks is it happened almost over night. It is affecting my work, my sleep, and other relationships. Oh well I sure don't mean to use this as a dumping ground but for me this is how I sort out my thoughts. I write them out, read them back to myself and see if I can make sense of them. This time I can't. I guess I hope she will come home tonnight, command me to get back in the device and have me service her every night. LOL Ok not too realistic but you get the point. Of course some occasional sex in there would be great to. I just think I found my one weakness and it is her. I most likely need some help to get past my feelings that a result from the past but this would mean facing some issues I would rather not face again. Is it possible to put to much emphasis on the intimate parts of a relationship where it affects the other parts, AND is it possible to allow the other parts to affect the intimate part? That answer has to be yes, and the fact that it is yes sucks!

Well enough of all that. I need to go fix my double booking for today. What a mess. Catch you all later and I am sorry to ramble..perhaps it is time to take a break from here for a bit...who knows.

 

Thanks sub4madam. After much thought I was coming back to delete this post then I saw your post DOH! Oh well everything in it's time. Truth is if I did not love her as much as I do none of this would matter. Problem is, she is my life!

Not a bad problem to have I am sure.

 

Wow. I am not usually an emotional person but to come on here today and read these comments, well it chokes me up. I think it is so sad we have to live in a world where friends like this can be found yet we all have to hide in a way.

Mistress Watchful I feel like you just strapped me to the rack and beat my ass! :whipbang: Talk about a dose of ones own medicine. Thank you. for the record though I know this amazing woman is not my ex. The scars that remain are the emotional baggage not the personal ones. I have even found myself trying to lose weight lately to get back to feeling like the desirable person again. Even though Goddess has said nothing about it, it is merely an internal feeling. I know you understand it because I have spent many times telling you. funny how the shoe comes around o the back side kick you in the ass sometimes hu? lol

As far as the sex, trust me I have said "Can we go have sex?" She is not wired that way, at all. This is my frustration as a guy. My outlet from the real world is in the tossing about of the sheets. I know this to be a pretty common thing so I just need to realize this and be patient I guess. I do nto want her thinking she is just a sex object to me but she is a sex object if you get my point. It is not by accident I selected the title of Goddess! lol

Any way last night was a little better. she at least had this odd sense of her old self in her. I still did not sleep any better, took me till almost 1AM to get to sleep. But at least we were talking and discussing our day, as apposed to sitting in our own corners. The stressors of life do suck sometimes no doubt. And I am sorry to have dumped here. Having considered deleting my posts, I thank all of you for the words that I could have never expected. It is my hope that one day WE ALL can share the most amazing stories together where none of us are sick, injured, depressed, or stressed out. In the mean time thank you to all of you for your support and thank you for letting me know that in my times of "dumping" I can somehow be a support to you.

 

Mike if you figure it out first get in touch with me and we can market a book and make millions!


Thanks for stopping by.

 

LMAO @ Mistress Watchful..what do you mean you can't figure yourself out?? Oh my gosh we men are doomed!

MistressCat thank you ever so much for the kind words and for stopping by this thread. It is an honor to see new faces here.

Well I wish I had some great and wonderful news and in a way I guess I do. there has been a lot less tension at home and I can tell we are starting to reconect, although slow none the less we are. While we have already taken the above device and thrown BDSM out the door a long time ago, I am hopeful that at least the talks could come around soon. I don't know why but it is like an addiction that just can't be explained. I know when we were following our contract we both benefited immensely. Her more than me I am sure because it was a long stretch of tease and denial and some painful moments but wow was it worth it. Well work life calls so this is short for now. I will catch up with all of you soon.