After i had some nice "perfect" chastity days when i joined, my gf wanted sex and got it and made me cum. Well... After a short "build up again"-time i was ready to do this chastity game again. My gf lives in her own flat, so we dont see each other every day. She told me via mobile phone that i should lock myself up. And i did. I love it. But then the other morning, she allowed me to put the device off again (i have an emergency key). I did as i was told, but during the day i found myself falling back into old habits: not submissive to her at all, and well, watching some sexy pics, ... masturbating. I am quite disappointed by my lack of self-discipline. I know that i will love being locked and being denied, but i try to avoid being locked up at all costs. Something in my mind is blocking it - although it is more fun to be locked and teased by my gf than just watch a porn and masturbate. I guess, that it is not very exciting for me when she allows me to be unlocked, when she is not strict anymore. And i told her that, so she will try to do better (and i will try to be stronger - because it should be fun for her too) next time. So i guess next time to be locked up will be when i visit her tonight or at the weekend. Aw. I dont want to screw it up this time.
She told me to use the key because she wanted to be nice. And now i try to avoid being put back in chastity even if i like it...
sounds like you dont want to be chaste at all. You shouldnt even know where the emergency key is. There is one at my subs house, but he doesnt know where it is. I think that chastity can be a learning process for both parts. At first I thought Id be nice and let him cum, but now Ive realised what its all about and he doesnt cum at all. I have no plans to let him cum either. He isnt allowed to watch/look at porn, and he certainly isnt allowed to cum. I have the odd discussion with him, and he now tells me that he doesnt find other girls attractive any more and only sees me as sexy or attractive .... its all one long learning curve..... MB
Thanks for your reply. ...Well, I don't know if i want to be chaste or not. Because... Now i feel like i dont want to, but i loved when i was kept in chastity. Because it was so intense, so much learning, so new. As i read in cagedlions blog: sexual fulfillment without orgasm. This describes it best. Yet i don't want to "suffer" for it. Don't know myself. And i noticed already that when my gf is nice it takes the fun out for me. Or at least... i dont know how to describe: I do not feel teased or dominated as before. She has to be strict and show me my place (but is this topping from the bottom!?!? if i encourage her to be stricter?). And for the emergency key: Because we just started and tried it out, i wanted and she insisted in having an emergency key. And she can't be contacted all day, so when there is an emergency, a hidden key does not help.
You're right. And even then we are allowed to make our mistakes and learn from it. But i feel a bit sad because i somehow WANT to have the chastity, and then dont want to suffer or sacrifice for her.
I fear my wife's thinking is exactly on the similar lines! She has not released me in the last 40-45 days! It never happened in the past! Her goal is to release me only 3-4 times a year, on special dates. I think this is real chastity lifestyle And let me confess, it HAS changed my mentality beyond my imagination
I think that, if your gf wants you to have an emergency key then laminate it. It can then be trimmed down to credit card size, enough to fit in your wallet. The only way to get to it in a true "emergency" is to cut through the plastic laminate. At least that way you won't be tempted to remove it on a whim. Having to go through that process will hopefully deter you more. That's my tuppence worth..
Great idea! Because yea... Now that i have the key open, and was allowed to use it... Aw,... There is no fun when i can use it when i want or she does not notice it. We tried it with duct tape, but it is also fakeable. She wouldn't notice. But laminating it: Wow, great idea
I agree with the others. You have too much access to your key. Once that changes I think you might feel differently. It gets real serious once you no longer can unlock yourself Also you might consider a breakable key holder. Something like this http://www.selectlocks.com/2900102
Yea. ...Well, it was the same in the beginning: We did it without device. It was so intense and fun, but after day 5 or 6 it was just "hm, i could masturbate if i want". Then the device came and it was so great! Now i feel ashamed that i dont want to put it back on... i guess BECAUSE i can unlock it myself so easily.
Welcome to reality and not the idolized picture of Chastity. Being a KH is work. It is not just telling someone to lock up and then unlocking them a month later. When your KH does not live with you, there is little benefit for her. Do you do her housework, massage her feet every night, get teased by her each day, etc.. To her it is a kinky game and she may be tired of it since whether you cum or not, really has no affect on her, even though you may think it does and tell her so. I went through the same thing and I am willing to bet that so do most guys who try chastity. You also have the issue of a loving partner being uncomfortable in withholding your orgasms. Lots of woman like to have their man cum just as we like to make our women cum. I do not know about you, but if I cannot get my partner to come or she does not want to, it is not very enjoyable for me. You have to remember that if you look around the internet, you will not see many posters, at least those that stay around, who actually do any sort of long term chastity. Remove the "sissies" and there is not much left. Then think that more post about chastity than actually do it and some of those blogs you read are there to sell books and therefore have to spice up their posts to attract visitors. What I am saying is that there is reality sex and fantasy sex and sometimes we pursue the fantasy version of our fetish which usually ends up in disappointing us. That is what happened to me. I expected to go months locked up with my wife being strict about making sure I am locked up. In truth, she was more interested in teasing me then denying my orgasms. She felt sorry for me after a few weeks and annoyed at the extra attention I paid to her, not out of love, but out of horniness. In short, find what works for both of you and if she is not interested, perhaps you can play on just the days you are together.
@Voodoo , i think that is it. I did some self locking for a long time without my wife knowing. I finally brought up the idea of chastity to her just recently and she said she wants to try it though i dont have my device back yet from repairs being made but still very excited to see what its truly like to be locked up without access to the keys. When I was self locking the thrill was lost being so easily let out. I think its all about communication. If you truly dont want access to the keys then you need to let her know that, or at least try it for a bit. I do agree an emergency key needs to be available hence the breakable key case.
Each path is different. When we started, I loved the idea of locking dickie, as a means of leading him into our FLR and keeping him from masturbating. Since it had all started as a result of his affair, I wanted that to end, and to make sure he never strayed again. Now years later, I am bi-sexual with a small group of men and women that I spend time with. dickie hasn't been with another woman, other than my friend/mento, who gave him one night of memories before I took im to the next step. He now sees two "boyfriends" as we call them, and is supervised at our monthly group fetish parties for an occasssional female tease. To each their own...as a poster said there is no rule book on this type of thing. It's where it takes you. Mistress Suzan
I couldn't disagree more! You need to have access to the emergency key at all times. There are too many good reasons to need to remove it: medical, need to fly in an emergency, work, etc. I have an emergency key. It is in a metal pill canister that is attached to my keychain. We have uniquely numbered, tamper-resistant labels (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004U7PN7Y/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 ) . One is stuck around the joint between the screw top and the body of the pill case. Mrs. Lion will immediately see if I had opened it. If I do this without permission, I am in big trouble. It is really a bad idea to prevent emergency access.
I can relate to this. When unlocked, I'm generally not attracted to chastity at all. Sometimes I fall into "modes" where I get submissive and want to be locked. When locked, the desire to remain locked can be maintained by "stoking the fire" - making me horny regularly - but if enough time passes by without some sexual/arousing action the whole thing stops being rewarding and turns into a "pebble in the shoe" kind of thing, something I merely endure.