Hi everyone! I’m Kate. A submissive (if cheeky) sissy girl. I’ve been around the sissy, CD, BDSM scene a while on the periphery but am now dipping my toe in more and more. I’m married and she doesn’t know. Yet. I’m exploring new things with her slowly revealing my submissive nature and hoping things go well. Not the way around I’d recommend but it’s where I’m at. I’m also now serving a Mistress online. It has been eye opening and a lot of fun. It’s through her and recommendations of other friends that I’ve discovered chastity and by extension this site. (Thanks Rhi!) Look forward to talking and sharing more. Kate xo
Hi and welcome! Showing that side to your partner can be a stomach twisting experience. But you’re no deferent than many of us here, there’s lots of good advice all over this forum for preparing for those situations but honesty is also the best policy. Also not that it’s any of my business but if you really want to bring your wife into this lifestyle I’d stop the online mistress stuff. If she doesn’t know about that and she finds out there’s going to be a whole hell of a lot to explain to her and I’m 100% sure she’s be hurt by those actions. I’d drop the online mistress and ask your wife to lock you in chastity (also tons of good info here on ways to bring this up to your partner) it will be way more fun for you and also not skew your sense of reality on how your wife might dominate you versus an online mistress. Good luck!
I wouldn’t mention the online mistress to her. As it is , she is going to feel that everything has been a lie. Tread lightly and slowly...
I would agree with wonderwomamssub.. Drop the online and work on your relationship... She may feel that your love for her maybe second to you being a mistress and think you maybe in an emotional affair which is just as bad if not worst than a actual act of having an affair... If you are a submissive, then she should be your mistress... Begin with being honest to her .. Ask her about her feelings on a FLR.. Open a line of communication... She may also suspect already your submissive nature... I am also working on getting my wife to accept me..It's a slow road.. She sees me in a diaper ( I have a rash on my back side was the excuse that i didn't want ruin my good underwear.) , Which I was able too open a line of communication ... Due too the fact cause she is slow getting to bathroom and need to wear a depends now so she is not ashamed in wearing them now,.,I got her input for ABDL onesies as to what I should wear.. (Now I have 4 with a little monsters sleeper from rearz)..And now I am looking for more cloth diapers from rearz..I hope before the my 2 week cruise in Aug.I can get her know about my self chastity.. Sorry for the long post
Thank you for all the messages and feedback. I may have overplayed the online Mistress. I do think of her like that but the reality is she is more a kinky friend, whom is married herself, that I look up to and who enjoys toying with me occasionally. I appreciate all the advice
I agree with others about the online stuff. Whenever your secret comes out, you will likely find that she is madder or more disappointed that you've been keeping secrets from her than she will be that you have a feminine side. The online mistress subject would be especially hurtful since in involves you trusting (to whatever extent) another person. Open communications, however difficult it is to achieve, is the only real answer to your dilemma, INHO.
Hello from another Kate! I can only repeat what has been said above. Tread carefully and start to communicate.
You’re married and have been doing all of this stuff in secret? I think before you tell her anything you need to figure out why you’ve been doing these things and why you’ve been hiding it. These are certainly questions that she is going to ask right away. Hidden things are always a scary rabbit hole for partners. Her thoughts will go like this: “if he’s been hiding all of this from me, what else is he hiding from me?”. Why do you need to do these things? What do you get from them? Are they necessary for your happiness? If so, how can your wife be involved in ways that are comfortable for her? You should be prepared to answer all of these questions and more before you open up to her about this stuff.
This. Definitely this. I came out to my wife as transgender a year ago. It was the most frightening thing I have ever done. Just as DonnaSue said, my wife was more upset that I had hidden it from her for years than she was about my being transgender. Once she gave me a chance to explain my lifelong struggles with gender dysphoria, cross dressing, hatred of my genitalia, etc., she was actually pretty open to discussing it, researching it, and wanting to help me. It hasn’t been a completely smooth road, but it ended up being less scary than I anticipated. But also as DonnaSue said, I would not say a word about the online mistress thing. In her eyes she will probably view it as infidelity. Not a place you want to go. I, personally, would cease all communication and interactions with the online mistress. I’m assuming you desire to keep your marriage intact, and you would be doing yourself a big favor by keeping all other questionable relationships with other women out of your life.
Can... Confirm... All... Of this. --- Some recommend not mentioning everything... But My advice for honesty is an 'all or nothing' approach. Half-hearted attempts at honesty can backfire, just like lies in general. Half-truths can leave the deceived in a constant state of confusion, worry, and/or anger. Trust Me on that one... Your wife's mileage may vary, but I'd much rather know the whole truth than pieces and parts - especially when they don't tell the real story. Also... Pretty hard to submit to her if you're still hiding from your own truth, right? Be honest with your partner. She deserves it, and so do you.