Permanent chastity frowned upon?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by cagemeplease, Jun 26, 2014.

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  1. cagemeplease
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    #1 cagemeplease, Jun 26, 2014
    Hey everybody,

    Is there a bias against permanent chastity that I am missing? I am currently locked in a MM Jailbird with a security screw kept secured with blue Loctite. The screw is supposed to still be removable with just the key, but will not work loose on it's own. We are moving toward permanent chastity and she has already purchased red Loctite which is a permanent bonding agent. Like a few other couples here, we have spent thousands on devices trying to find 'the cage'. This has been a 10 year journey, not an overnight decision. She is 64 years old and very recently admitted her sexual desire 'is gone'. It was almost a sign, her lack of desire arriving at the same time we finally found a real device. We have talked at length about this. She really feels she is giving up nothing and would prefer I never get to be inside her nor orgasm again. She has been so happy since the Jailbird was found to be wearable with no issues. At 52, and being a man :), I still have all the desire and ability I did at 16. She did remind me I could be signing up for 30 years of denial. Chastity and the extra attention she receives because of it are really all we are interested in. She is not a Domme & honestly prefers I remain all man and in charge of most things in our household. It's always been a bit of give and take, but she usually defers to my opinion, while I've always tried to make her happy and show her what she's worth to me. Anyway, after that long message, I have heard from a few people here with really negative views of our plans. One person suggested I just cut it off since it was going to be out of reach forever. As I said, she prefers me all male. Another questioned the permanent Loctite and 'emergencies'. Any device can be cut off in nearly any ER in America. And no, it wouldn't embarrass me in the least. After such a crisis we could simply order a new device. So, I'd like opinions about our plans. No, it won't change our mind, we are very happy with the decision. I just like to see all angles of situations. If you read this far, thanks for sticking in there.
     
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  2. Governess Stephanie
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    Governess Stephanie Long term member

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    #2 Governess Stephanie, Jun 26, 2014
    Surely it is "horses for courses", if you both are happy with what you are doing then what right has anyone to condem you for it. Only the two of you know all the details, reasons and feelings, I say, if you are happy and it works for you both then the best of luck and keep on doing it !
     
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  3. Nostromo
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    Nostromo Long term member

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    #3 Nostromo, Jun 26, 2014
    If it's what you want, go for it! Kinksters can be opinionated (and some may be well intentioned in raising things like emergencies, without realizing they are imnplicitly imposing their own view of risk on you), so don't listen to anyone whose advice you think misses the point.
     
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  4. Ellen58
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    Ellen58 Active member

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    #4 Ellen58, Jun 26, 2014
    Forget what other people think, if your both happy...who cares??? On a sidenote tho...I hope I don't feel about sex like that at 64.
     
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  5. cagemeplease
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    #5 cagemeplease, Jun 26, 2014
    Ellen,
    Don't find me weird, but since the day I figured out that our age difference might lead to her earlier loss of desire, I've been looking forward to it. I knew it was the only way she would ever lock me away forever. It took me approximately two years of acknowledging this with her and making clear I would not find her any less desirable to bring her to the point where she could admit it to me without fear of my reaction. She is 12 years my senior and regardless how many times I reassured her she was always afraid it would matter to me some day. This was only very recently that she admitted her desire was gone and I immediately asked if she thought it was time. She not only confirmed it, but after confirming two weeks in the cage had caused zero trouble she sent me a very brief text message-'Welcome to a life of chastity'. That thrilled/kicked me to my very core. I couldn't be more in love with her.
     
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  6. Ellen58
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    #6 Ellen58, Jun 26, 2014
    Well yes the age thing to me is a lot. 10 yrs difference to me is a lot, can't relATE...ANYWAy..the main thing is that your happy and she's happy.
     
  7. Sunny
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    Sunny Long term member

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    #7 Sunny, Jun 26, 2014
    @ cagemeplease,
    I appreciate both of your decision
    Considering both of your age, the chances of medical emergency are little more
    So instead of Locktite I would suggest using plastic 'one time use' lock that would be easy to cut at home
     
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  8. cagemeplease
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    #8 cagemeplease, Jun 26, 2014
    Sunny,
    Thanks. I am 52 and she is 64. Trust me, if an emergency arose, cutting it off would not be a worry. Cages are replaceable. And no, I wouldn't be embarrassed at all. I see it like my wedding band only it's a bit heavier. And honestly, I need the reassuring feel of no desired release by her. It comforts me like a baby's blanket comforts him.
     
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  9. Sunny
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    Sunny Long term member

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    #9 Sunny, Jun 26, 2014
    You are younger by 12 years!
    I appreciate what you are doing for her!
     
  10. cagemeplease
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    #10 cagemeplease, Jun 26, 2014
    She does MUCH more for me. And what really helps us? We were simply best friends for 10 years before I ever kissed her. As friends, we already knew everything about each other, maybe not all the sexual details, but there were no skeletons in our closets. And already being best friends helped a lot in becoming who we are today. I am not doing her a favor by being with her, i am being her true love and she mine.
     
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  11. Sunny
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    Sunny Long term member

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    #11 Sunny, Jun 26, 2014
    cagemeplease,
    Surprisingly my story is similar
    We are married for 25 years - I am 53 and she is 49
    She's done a lot more for me than I did for her in the last 25 years
    So my chastity is a tribute to her
     
  12. cagemeplease
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    #12 cagemeplease, Jun 26, 2014
    It is definitely a gift like no other. Better than winning the lottery.
     
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  13. lock667
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    lock667 Long term member

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    #13 lock667, Jun 26, 2014
    From what I've read, the general gripe about a permanent lock is that it takes the control out of the Domme/Dom's hands and instead makes it situational instead of "optional."

    Me? I say you're still locked at her direction, so enjoy it. Good for you for finding something that makes you both happy.
     
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  14. cth96190
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    #14 cth96190, Jun 26, 2014
    Not sure whether or not permanent chastity is frowned upon, but if you look up the medical literature on the subject you will find that regular ejaculation is necessary to reduce the risk of prostate cancer. If you do not want to orgasm, or be released from your cage, you might want to explore prostate milking.
     
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  15. cth96190
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    cth96190 Active member

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    #15 cth96190, Jun 26, 2014
    From the Journal of the American Medical Association
    ". . . high ejaculation frequency was related to decreased risk of total prostate cancer. The multivariate relative risks for men reporting 21 or more ejaculations per month compared with men reporting 4 to 7 ejaculations per month at ages 20 to 29 years were 0.89 (95% confidence interval [CI], 0.73-1.10); ages 40 to 49 years, 0.68 (95% CI, 0.53-0.86); previous year, 0.49 (95% CI, 0.27-0.88); and averaged across a lifetime, 0.67 (95% CI, 0.51-0.89)."
    http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=198487">
     
  16. cagemeplease
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    cagemeplease Guest

    #16 cagemeplease, Jun 26, 2014
    She has attempted milking me a couple of times, but wants me to practice at it to relieve her of doing it. That will be the only release of semen that either of us wish for. We had a discussion a few days ago and when I asked her what she gets out of it she said, 'Not feeling guilty about not desiring anymore and control of an important part of you'. I then asked, 'You mean that the way you said it? You really don't desire anymore?'
    Her reply? 'Not much at all. I've given this some thought. Since I'm no longer desiring, it would make me feel better and more comfortable, less pressured, to simply lock it & forget it. Would you accept that to make it easier for me? Seeing that she really is past the point of ever wanting me physically, I would never ask for a 'real' orgasm. If milking alone is proven to reduce the chances of prostate cancer, I am very willing to learn to do it on my own. Thanks for the statistics.
     
  17. Nostromo
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    Nostromo Long term member

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    #17 Nostromo, Jun 27, 2014
    @cth96190, I don't read this study the way you do. This study was an effort to disprove the presumption that high ejaculation frequency increased prostate cancer risk (doctors had sort of assumed that high ejaculation frequency correlated with high testosterone levels and prostate cancer risk). An incidental finding was that guys who ejaculate almost daily over their lifetimes may have a lower risk of prostate cancer. It wouldn't make sense to infer from that that chastity increases prostate cancer risk. In fact, the study includes the following statement: "We noted a suggestive decrease in risk of total and organ-confined prostate cancer among men in the lowest category of ejaculation frequency across a lifetime. Whether that finding was due to lower androgenicity among these men remains unknown." In other words, infequent ejaculators may have a lower cancer risk, but that might be because they have lower testosterone levels.

    Based on what I have heard from my doctor over the years, frequent ejaculation may help with things like prostate infections, but I see no need for a cancer scare based on this article.

    What is the line from an old Ogen Nash poem? "The only cure for a patient who has read an article / Is a hatpin in the left ventricle of the hearticle."
     
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  18. Max51
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    Max51 Youth is wasted on the young.

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    #18 Max51, Jun 27, 2014
    Loctite Red can be removed with a heat gun. Your penis will probably get burnt unless protected.

    It is your penis to do with as you wish. Consider why you are so attentive to your wife. Has it been because you are locked and wanted to please her so that she would unlock you to have sex. Whether you lock it up or not, the result from your wife will be the same and all you will do is deny yourself. If you think about it, the attentiveness that everyone talks about, is due to wanting to be released at some point for mind blowing sex. Without that reward in your future, would you still be as attentive as now? I am attentive whether locked up or not. That goes with love. I was an annoying horny guy who was smothering his wife with too much attention, so she says, when I was doing the chastity thing. She likes me much better unlocked. But it is your penis to do with as you want. Personally I do not think it is a safe practice and if you ever had a kidney stone or infection of your Urethra, you will know that the doctors will need access and a heat gun on your penis will not be fun.

    I just do not see why someone would still be attentive to a woman who is not going to provide them with an eventual orgasm. You can be as nasty as you want because you are not going to cum anyway. :)
     
  19. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    #19 Mistress B, Jun 27, 2014
    @Max51 I thought you had left the building.?????
     
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  20. Max51
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    Max51 Youth is wasted on the young.

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    #20 Max51, Jun 28, 2014
    My penis stayed behind. I like the people here.
     
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  21. Governess Stephanie
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    Governess Stephanie Long term member

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    #21 Governess Stephanie, Jun 28, 2014
    I must say, That was an extremely good come back ! LOL
     
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  22. cagemeplease
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    cagemeplease Guest

    #22 cagemeplease, Jun 28, 2014
     
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  23. Usul
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    Usul fear is the mind killer

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    #23 Usul, Jun 28, 2014
    I have an mm jailbird, with security screw too. I assure you, no Loctite could keep me from removing the screw if I really ... really wanted to. And it would get hot, but not 500 degrees. It's just stainless steel. You could drill it off in an emergency - or in case of a change of mind. Running water over it while drilling, or using oil, would keep the heat down. Don't ah... slip you know... Just saying. I know this thing is comfortable and that you can get clean and dry in it without removal. It sounds hot to me. I'm in long stretches anyway. I've considered a pop rivet, if she ever wanted to "permanently" lock me. It's the ultimate in chastity commitment. I say go for it. What have you got to lose?
     
  24. Usul
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    Usul fear is the mind killer

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    #24 Usul, Jun 28, 2014
    side question though: Would you like to be buried with it on? Or set the poor guy free for eternity?
     
  25. cagemeplease
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    #25 cagemeplease, Jun 28, 2014
    Geez,
    I really didn't want to be one of those people who start poop, but apparently very few of you who aired your opinions read my entire entry. I specifically stated that during a real crisis the cage could indeed be cut off and a new one purchased. No sweat at all. Most American emergency rooms are equipped with tools for such crises. But, barring these drastic 'what ifs', once she uses the red Loctite, it's a done deal. Now, sit back, relax & enjoy the ride!!! That's what we intend to do.
     
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