What if Female Domination became mainstream?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Mistress Watchful, Jun 4, 2008.

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  1. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Little ramble from my wandering mind...

    ... if FemDom relationships became the norm, would it make them any less special?

    ... or would it be heaven on Earth?

    ... or would women who now proudly show-off their "submissive" partners (even if discretely... "oh I'm so lucky he always brings me breakfast in bed/runs me baths/does the laundry) feel any less lucky?

    Just pondering... thoughts please!
     
  2. Chastiman
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    Chastiman Member

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    Mistress Watchful,

    I do not know how to really answer your question. Mistress and I are not in a female dominated relationship because it is not mainstream. That thought never even occurred to us. We are in a female dominated relationship because after playing with it for some time we discovered it works for us.

    My Mistress does brag on me discretely. Her friends at work think she is married to the most wonderful husband on earth.
     
  3. maid Muffy
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    maid Muffy Am i a boy or a GIRL?...

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    Mmmm.... Mistress Watchful

    Seriously, i don't think it really matters. A FemDom relationship exist between two people not on society as a whole. When practice as a lifestyle can be an all encompassing componant of a relationship, not just a sexual game.

    Well... what has helped us to spice up this very sexy marriage is.. don't laff... Adult Bedtime Stories. Ask yourself... Why?... be tethered to a hum-drum reality... did your partner climbed into the same bed, pulled the same sheets over her body, and kissed the same man good-night. Surprise Her.. tonight leave the real world behind and step into the exhilarating world of sexual fantasy.

    For us poor unimaginative souls to surprise and arouse our mates... step-by-step fully scripted love scenes... plot, dialogue and cum-plete directions. We use to take turns... erotic storytelling. i soon learn that my sweet demure Wife had some secret latent lesbian desires... i could feel her succulent pussy juicing in anticpation... at the mere suggestion of two beautiful Women making love together. We begin acting and minicking these sexy steamy scenes, pretending we're someone else... Me.. becuming Her lusty lesbo lover flicking my tongue out to lick 1st one nipple then the other. Slowly, we were conjuring up our fetishistic fantasies into a living breathing reality. All it takes is a trusting partner, an open mind, and maybe a couple of costume changes.

    This once shy, lil' girl began, imagining Herself as a decadent Queen of the sexual "nether world" where hordes of naked men crawl on their hands and knees thru broken glass just to masturbate at Her Feet. She enjoyed the unque sensation of smooth nylon legs rubbing senuously together and the feel of a virile manly cock... and how i could make such a lovely boy/girl creature... if only my cock was under strict control She could enjoy much more foreplay.

    The trick is to find something that both of you enjoy...
     
  4. ptathuk
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    ptathuk Member

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    maid Muffy,
    You are very lucky indeed. A woman that know what she wants :bigsmile:; indeed, heaven. Rare as hen's teeth. <ducks as women everywhere start thowing things at me.>

    Mistress Watchful,
    It may be my style of thought, but I don't do things, or think a certain way, to get approval from society. I'm not sure this is arrogance, more like 'secure in the knowledge'. Having a clear moral centre. If I'm like this, there are those that live and breath the approval of others. Just like there are dommes of all sexual orientations (and subs, of course). I don't think your ramble will ever become a reality.

    However, there may be pockets; OWK for example. There are some slaves that live there. There are also some Dommes living there. What would it be like returning to the outside world after a year, - two or more? Locked in chastity for more than a year?

    We can always fantasise :angel:
    ptathuk
     
  5. Wolfie
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    Wolfie wolfie

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    Mistress Watchful,
    i have been involved in the BDSM world for many years,
    first as an experiment to satisfy my ever growing kinky side,
    then as a Master, a switch and now a submissive.
    i have found that i like the submissive side the best,
    at least at home...
    Years ago, maybe 20,
    i started a group called Dominant Women Make Great Lovers
    and i know that this is true...
    Usually, it's the young woman,
    or the woman that is un-shure of herself,
    that likes to be submissive.
    Women that have confidence in life
    always seem to be Dominant.
    I feel that is the norm..
     
  6. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Oh don't misunderstand me... we definately didn't step into this because it was "novel".

    I happened to be in a very vanilla situation and two things were said randomly. One was "my daddy would prefer make up for Father's Day" and another was "you don't really look like a house-slave". Two completely different people, one child, one adult, in two completely separate conversations... just made me feel... odd!

    I've always liked to be "different" and anyone who knows me and knows anything about my life will tell you I am "unique".

    I don't want to be the same as anyone else, and I will always strive to stand out from the crowd. But that's just me! :bigsmile:
     
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  7. icarus_101
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    icarus_101 Babygirl

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    I ponder this over a cup of tea and a thought struck me.

    If we were to consider the true nature of true love, it would not be usual for the man to try to please their woman - mistress or not - in any way they can.

    So if FemDom became vanilla, would it not be the same as if true love was truly acted upon.

    To my mind, if FemDom became the norm, it would suggest that men had become less pig headed, inconsiderate, ego centric and uncaring - all which are benefits in my box :)

    Although the idea of all men walking around in chastity is amusing... the queues outside the gents would be longer than the queues outside the ladies. This may even promote men talking with each other... another benefit.

    A simple question that does not have a simple answer.
     
  8. Kinkish1
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    Kinkish1 Senior Member

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    This is definitely a topic that could lead to several different answers, just from one person. I, too, have always gravitated to things that are not mainstream. When the crowd zigs, I zag. It works for me.

    That is one of the factors that led me to kinky sex, BDSM and D/s, but it is not why we have made it a main feature of our lives. It adds so much to our relationship and ourselves as individuals that there is no going back now.

    Mistress does enjoy getting comments and questions from her friends about how good she is treated by me, but we keep it just between us. And I enjoy provoking those remarks, as well.

    There have been other people that we know who are into it also, and who know we are into it, but they just aren't that good of friends. Sad, but true. Maybe someday we'll find a group that we click with better.

    On occasion, at a restaurant she'll order for me in a way that leaves no doubt in the waitresses mind that I have no say in my meal that evening. That tends to get a small reaction and some other staff will file by sneaking a glance, which we find quite entertaining. Sometimes the same scenario develops in other stores, with similar results. It's always fun.

    Now, if Female Domination became the norm and a conventional relationship, whatever that is defined as now, became the exception, I guess it may have some effect, but I can't say what it would be. It would be easy to say it wouldn't matter, which it probably wouldn't, but I can't be sure. I'll ponder it some more.

    Kinkish1
     
  9. submissive1
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    submissive1 Member

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    there are a lot of interesting perspectives here.
    They make a lot of sense too.

    My take on it would be this.
    I suppose there would be 2 advantages to it being mainstream.
    one is that you could discuss this part of your life more openly.
    another is that there would be more individuals to talk to about it.
    But I dont figure that how we live would be changed by it.
     
  10. richard
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    richard Just me

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    Year by year it does go a little more mainstream. Femdom affects fashion etc. Couples find the alternative sooner.

    If it were mainstream I'm sure us guys would not be wearing shorts/briefs/trunks in public anymore - just our CBs.
    And you gals would be naked if so desired and 100% SAFE.
     
  11. thefeem
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    thefeem Junior Member

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    I think we are talking in the Penthouse/Forum aspect of female domination. I have seen many marriages where the female is the main desicion maker.

    I would like to take everybody back to the movie "Escape from the Planet of the Apes." In the movies the talking apes came to modern (1970) America. Once the scientists found out that they could talk they took them to a Congressional Committee. Zara, the wife did all of the talking. When the chairman asked, "Does the other one talk." He stood up and said, "When she lets me." The comment got severla laughs because in some marriages there was some truth to that.

    Think about this. In a marriage who is usually wooried about getting in trouble, the husband or the wife?

    In the bedroom there might be some form of denial, because sex might not happen unless the wife desires it. The husband is the one trying to seduce the wife. That marriage might not have chastity belts, feminization or other trappings of BDSM but could be considered a female dominant relationship.
     
  12. PT109
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    PT109 Senior Member

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    I agree completely. One reason for the increase in failed marriages seems to be the fact that many women no longer bother to support the myth that men are the stronger sex. The deflation of the male ego in movies and on TV where men are portrayed as foolish or inconsequential is part of the process. It may be that we need to have these myths in order to survive as a culture. Men may be so psychologically fragile that women must constantly support them and maintain their self image with constant "updates" so that men can continue to sacrifice their lives in business and war to provide and protect the females. Think about it. If men cannot take up arms and protect the women and children, our culture could be at great risk of being destroyed by the more primitive cultures where women have no power and men are brutes.
    I agree that women are really in charge of most successful marriages, but many of these same women tend their male's ego like careful gardeners. She knows who is going to creep down the stairs with a golf club when the burglar knocks over a lamp in the middle of the night.

    One fun thing to think about though, if FemDom were mainstream would be the public aspect of it. I'm not thinking of a world where people were still vanilla and the women were dominant. What fun would that be? I'm thinking of a world where the women exhibit males like pets, where they humiliate men in a thousand delicious ways, a world where alpha males are chemicall controlled to provide women with safe sex and beta males are feminized and led around on leashes, where women have several husbands and or concubines and where men have orgasms only at the mercy of their owners.
    Alas, it's just a fantasy. If women were in charge they would create another boring vanilla world just like the one we have now with more shows like "The View" and Opra probably. Let's face it what we have now is terrific. Our lifestyle floats on a sea of improbable contradictions and relies on a thousand "normal" behaviors which we delicately manipulate to our own perverse satisfaction. Outsiders have no idea what we are doing or why we are doing it.
     
  13. sissyboyblue
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    sissyboyblue Member

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    mainstream femdom

    In time im sure femdom relationships will become mainstream. maybe not in our lifetimes, but it will as social conventions relax, certainly in the western world at least. My only regret is that I wasnt born one hundred years from now and be able to be more open about who and what Iam and not have to hide this very important part of me. Also. I suspect gaining the love of a mistress will be easier by then as there will be more openly dominant women.
     
  14. notyet
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    notyet positively confused

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    Laughing here, I honestly wish that female supremecacy was the norm for society. My wife and I live in what you could call a femdom relationship. She calls the shots. When I told her about the chastity thing her first reaction was to say ok and then she handed me a pair of panties. I have wished that she would be the bitch goddess of fantasy but when I think about it I have something even better, I have a woman in my life who wears the pants and has done so from the beginning. This stuff, the chastity play and the femdom lable, are just that a lable. This site has the tag line "be careful what you wish for" I whole heartedly agree. I personally think that when it comes to femdom or female supremacy most who really want it are already living it. Its mostly a question of setting up the rules and acknowledging it
     
  15. sissyboyblue
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    sissyboyblue Member

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    well said... i agree totaly.
     
  16. kkeeiitthh
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    kkeeiitthh Active member

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    Mistress watchful. It may be entirely possible that if femdom doesn't go mainstream, this silly little species may not survive. Time to evolve.
     
  17. ladylionzsissy
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    ladylionzsissy male chastity sissymaid

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    I feel female dominated relationships can become the norm if started early and passed from generation to generation.
     
  18. Kasaru
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    Kasaru Member

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    It doesn't bother me if female domination is mainstream or not. It is how I have always been hard-wired and it is what makes me happiest in a personal relationship.

    Funnily enough, despite a lot of people into kink/bdsm ( or whatever we are calling it this week) saying they are individuals, they often run their relationships on quite prescribed lines, so actually their relationships are no more unique, alternative or different than is anybody else's. Many kinky relationships resemble other kinky relationships just as mainstream ones may resemble others.

    Even if female dominated relationships were more mainstream, I wouldn't act any differently in public to how I do now. If it was that important to me to demonstrate our D/s in public, I would already be doing it and saying 'Damn the consequences' but as our D/s is all about who holds and uses the authority, it has never been important that other people know or see it in operation.
     
  19. Chris with PA
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    Chris with PA Member

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    Book recommendation: Les hommes protégés by Merle
     
  20. Caged Wolf
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    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

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    Mistress Watchful,
    After showing your original post to Mistress Wolf i asked her opnion. Her answer shows a little of where She is adn Where She may someday be... "If it was mainstream it would be so much easier to find someone to talk to and learn from, It would be less "strange. "

    Her reply give me something more to look forard to!
     
  21. chastesoon
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    chastesoon Senior Member

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    You mean to tell me it's not?
    Very few would admit it, but I think most marriages are female lead, if truth be told! I know mine is, but she would cringe if someone told her that. She is the dynamic power that drives our family! She is very vanilla but yet controls almost everything that I do.
     
  22. tiemeupalso
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    tiemeupalso Member

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    i would love it .mabey if the women had the power i wouldnt be alone.
     
  23. cbtok
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    cbtok Senior Member

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    Frankly, i think it is all ready. Certainly with the release of "Eyes Wide Shut" there is an indication of an acceptance of dominance in a relationship and as a lifestyle choice. And no longer have men had to make excuses for the fact that their Wives tend to have a say—indeed a final say—in many decisions. Just look at a few of the "Bewitched" episodes on DVD. Darren is certainly either "under a spell" or under the complete control of Samantha, her domineering Mother and a boss who has absolutely no reservations about firing him one minute and rehiring him the next. And yet he's trying to navigate through life as if though he were the "classic dominant male." It is what made the show so much fun to watch.

    Nowadays, seeing a cartoon with the wife wielding a whip and standing over Her husband is no longer shocking. While one might not expect males to be paraded, nude, wearing a Chastity device and a collar down Fifth Avenue in NYC, there is a general acceptance of a Woman's rightful place as a final decision-maker in their households.
     
  24. kickball
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    kickball Submitting to the power of a Domme

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    In General, I think Women have always run the family and home. Where the change is evolving is that Women are now exercising authority at the workplace and outside the home. I think it is terrific. Who knows where it will all lead!!
     
  25. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    The OP asked, when it wouldn't raise eyebrows to have a subbie on a leash in a restaurant. I don't think we're quite there as yet but I do remember cuffing my maids wrists to the steering wheel of the car when I didn't want her in the shops with me.
     
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