Told my wife this morning

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by sissybetawimp, Apr 13, 2024.

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  1. sissybetawimp
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    #1 sissybetawimp, Apr 13, 2024
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2024
    I’ve had chastity and submissive desires since I was a teenager. Played a few times in real life with Dommes and also served online. Am 42 and married for almost 15 years, my wife is very vanilla. We usually only have sex about every two months.

    She knows my fantasies as I told her about 12 years ago, she locked me in chastity for a while but then said it wasn’t for her. Time passes, we’ve got kids, life is busy and I thought I could bury my desire but alas it still lingers. I’ve played online for a while but self denied any orgasms since 12 days ago and locked myself away in my CB6000s yesterday.

    I’d signed up to a chaster lock, but this morning lying next to her in bed I pulled down my boxers and showed her my cage and told her I was sorry but I couldn’t hide it any more. She was a bit shocked at first but said she’d look into it and come back to me, was thankful I was honest with her. I probably rushed it a bit and didn’t set the scene right, just cut straight to it so probably could have been better but at least it got raised for real.

    She’s going out for dinner with friends tonight (already arranged), but I’m looking forward to a conversation tonight once kids are in bed and she gets back home, maybe a few drinks while out will help.

    Wish me luck x
     
  2. MaggotNub
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    MaggotNub Long term member

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    Good luck! Sounds like she wasn't terrified or repulsed instantly. That's a good sign.

    As we often say around these parts, be careful what you wish for!
     
  3. Bronze Shroud
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    Holy hell did I have the same exact conversation the other day. Or rather, the "I pulled down my boxers" part of it...
     
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  4. sissybetawimp
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    Amazing - how did you go with it? Any tips?
     
  5. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    Hope it works out
     
  6. knightly
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    knightly Long term member

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    It's hard t hide and suppress our desires! I hope this works out for you.

    I hope you find a way to both have an open, honest, and respectful conversation. This is something you want, and in a way need. And it is a path for both of you to greater intimacy. There is a lot in it for both of you. Be honest, try to avoid the fantasy kink side of it, and openly express what you want and need. Give her time and be respectful that she needs to think about it and integrate it. She likely will have many questions, and probably some fears (like you are or will become some other guy than who she married, or thoughts about what she will have to do, not being good at it, etc, etc). Walk her through it all one step at a time.

    I bet it feels good to have revealed your desire. Though we guys tend to struggle with landing it just the right way. :)

    Keep us posted! I love hearing success stories!
     
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  7. Merc68
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    Good luck. Hope it works out.
     
  8. sissybetawimp
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    Well woke up still locked this morning. We didn’t talk much about it last night but she did have me put my hand on her breast briefly when in bed last night before removing my hand and rolling over and saying good night, so taking that as a positive!

    Am considering sharing this site https://happy-marriage.neocities.org/ with my wife, not sure if it would help or hinder, might need to talk some more first.

    but definitely taking the fact I’m still locked as a positive.
     
  9. Mr_anonymous
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    Happy marriage suggests a three month initial lockup. You sure you're ready for that? May do more harm then good if you aren't sure you can.
     
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  10. sissybetawimp
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    I think so - I do kind of wish I’d had one last spurt before being locked - had denied myself for 11 days beforehand so already so horny - but don’t think that will matter after three months!
     
  11. Gremlin
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    Keep us informed!
     
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  12. knightly
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    knightly Long term member

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    Is she into kinks already? There are some ideas in that site that can be kinda helpful, if adapted to your situation, but at least in my experience in hindsight (we did go through the site once together) it really didn't hit the mark.

    Since she's starting from a more vanilla perspective, just being straight up honest that you're kinky and want to explore that part of yourself with her (look up "Erotic Blueprints" to give you both a good framework to talk about both of your sexual preferences and desires).
     
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  13. madams-sissysub
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    Congratulations on moving forward!
     
  14. sissybetawimp
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    Latest update, as we were getting ready for bed last night I’d got naked to put on my pyjamas. She was already in bed but before I could get dressed she called me over to her and looked at my cage. She asked how she’d know if I took it off and we talked about the lock and ended up using a plastic lock with serial number which she seemed happy with.

    Then she clearly had done some research as she pulled out her phone and a random number generator was open in her internet browser and she spun the number and landed on five. She then said, ok, no freedom for five days. I honestly don’t know if that will mean PiV sex or just a chance to masturbate, but even knowing that she now has full control over when I can wank is such a strong feeling.

    I tried to thank her but she calmly said time to change the topic, This morning when we woke up she again placed my hand under her top on her breast for a minute or two as well as seemingly deliberately walked out of shower naked and got dressed in front of me as she doesn’t usually do that.

    All in all a positive start would you agree?
     
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  15. Spezman
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    Agreed! If she is already giving you lock timelines, your ahead of the game. Take it slow!!! Best of luck.
     
  16. MaggotNub
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    And you're off! (Well, on actually...). Now resist the urge you'll have to talk about the cage all of the time. It's difficult, especially at the start.

    Most guys can find away to masturbate, even when locked. Don't let your curiosity explore that possibility at this stage. Do not ask her to unlock you.

    Be prepared. The first time she uses you to get herself off, then rolls over and goes to sleep without letting you cum, comes as a very sharp sudden realisation of the reality you've asked for. It will take your breath away.

    Good luck!
     
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  17. Mr_anonymous
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    The initial conversation was the worst of it. As said don't pester her, remind her of the cage every hour or generally drive her nuts and you're on your way.
     
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  18. M@rcellus
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    M@rcellus Long term member

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    The kinky stuff goes from 0 to 60 pretty quickly with chastity, looks like you're way down the rabbit hole here my friend. 2 monthly to every 5 days sex? That's what male chastity is all about.
     
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  19. knightly
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    knightly Long term member

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    Absolutely true!!!
     
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  20. denied_one
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    Be careful, if She is more than halfway into it she will run with it man. Lol!
     
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  21. subliminal
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    “And you're off! (Well, on actually...). Now resist the urge you'll have to talk about the cage all of the time. It's difficult, especially at the start.”

    In your current state the above is very sound advice, she will be processing the fact she now has control and this will likely involve some ignorance towards the situation and you being caged, her being mean to treat you keen as it were.
    My advice - don’t flaunt the cage, I remember wearing just a dressing gown and letting it be on show as much as possible, even whilst watching films. My Mistress casually just covered me up without even taking her eyes off the tv and that was my reality check.

    Try and keep it covered, so keep a towel on, and quickly change or move into a different room, she will likely think you’ve had an embarrassment epiphany, and either way she will likely ask to see you and or give you a cage inspection.

    This has worked well for me at the start. Now when her palm goes out flat I have to walk up and place my nuts on her hand and get a squeeze of varying degrees!

    Remember it’s on your mind 24/7 and before you sleep and as soon as you wake up. Be prepared for it to be on her mind 1 or 2 a week!! But above all enjoy your journey, very very excited for you!
     
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  22. Pronto Guy
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    Good discussion. I am looking to bring this up to my wife for myself - mostly to help me from masturbating too much...
     
  23. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Long term member

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    My suggestions going forward (from my own experience and that of many others in the forum) ..

    Do more chores around the house.
    Give her oral as often as possible without completely overwheming her.
    Focus on her and try to not talk about you being locked up, or you having an orgasm, until she fully embraces the benefits it gives her (that's definitely the most difficult bit).
    That combination usually convinces them of the benefits, but be careful what you wish for!
     
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  24. kcuck5280
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    Good luck, keep us posted. It's a double edged sword, for sure. Best advice, do your best to make it about her... in the end, that approach will be the most satisfying for both.
     
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  25. cagedsissyslave
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    cagedsissyslave Long term member

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    Congratulations glad it is working
     
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