The most powerful drug… CHAPTER ONE

@toanlimina - thanks for backing that small steps for some - can be huge for others. I have no urge to take this lifestyle that much further - really. I love it as is, - and I'm confident that we can in a smooth and balanced environment continue to discover new small steps, twists and turns, - that will strengthen this lifestyle even further...

I could have written a documentary focusing on the first 2 month of chastity, and all the problems and confusions we both had. We miss insights like that on CM. Yet I hope that my efforts in writing will encourage others just starting up, to really give it a go, even through rough beginnings. The reward can be breathtaking..

Many of our friends are in - or have just been through - divorces... A lot! Its epidemic!
At the same time Our relationship , our love, our bond has never been stronger.....
And chastity WAS the key, the eyeopener, the solution, I honestly have to admit

A small cage for man, a giant leap for marriage - lol...

 

Someone on the INBOX asked me what has happened after Berlin - with my wife and Anne.
I will share my answer:
Nothing has actually happened . We have all meet a little more than a week ago, but funny as it is we were - all of us, a little shy on the subject... LOl...
I think we have all come to realize that we all where in "the bubble" on that trip to berlin. It was extraordinary, rare, shaking, intense, wonderful and wild - all together
Now and then in life you happen to experience out-of-the-ordinary events, - and this one was a sure candidate.

We are doing fine, - and yes I love to think of it, But if there will be more of this kind,? I really don't know, and frankly That is not so important. I'm all into pleasing my wife, - and we share affection for each other.
She can veto me, deny me in everything,- but I know that she will treat me right...
We have more to discover in this lifestyle- together, - but I sure already like it here, where we are I'm in no rush...

Thanks for reading - everyone...

 

NEW TURN OF EVENTS - shyness following the Berlin trip and events seems to be gone....

My wife has spent the day with Anne, - her ( and now our mutual) friend, while I have prepared for an exhibition I will attend next week, as exhibitor... ( It will be my first - caged and all) Wauuhh!
My wife seems thrilled just by the thought of it. Me "on the loose" for three days - away from home, - all buckled up in my steel tube...

Well, the news is that my wife just told me that she and Anne had talked about Anne joining in on our summer vacation in Greece. My wife asked me , with a wicked smile If I would mind? A week in Greece, in a rented villa with private pool.........

Thats is not the Question, - The real question is: What is on HER mind? And Annes...?

The truth is: I don't know, and I think I will let it stay that way, like a sweet mystery - and not push for any answers. I am after all the sub here;-) - right?

Sincerly

 

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Almost a year has past since I popped the question….

Her “sharing” me with a girlfriend in Berlin was a pleasant detour, - a kink, and I like kinks like that… - I have to admit, and some more of that seems to be heading my way this summer… But kinks are NOT ANYMORE THE OBJECTIVE - its has become pleasant detours, - on a steady course to a wonderful revitalized togetherness…

My wife has reached the conclusion that we are having a better life - a much better life together, more intimacy , better sex, better services standards, better everything, when I am Permanently denied ... , and she is oh so right - . again!

(And add to that: we do not practices milking, ruined orgasms, no self touching for me , etc… Today - I have not had any release since 8 March , - and I - because of the Steel tube, I can not touch myself, - even if I wanted to, (- which I don’t - its is her property!! )

For me, I Did not think it would be possible to reach to this - that I really would rather give up release to be where I am : in a bubble of joy , pleasure , desire, affection , admiration , love, and an uncontrollable desire to wait on my beautiful wife - in every possible way . But that is exactly where I am.


I have on the CM and other places read about how - after a month without release You where almost crawling on the walls in frustration at the lack of release - and how You every minute was hoping that she would allow one… Even I assumed that chastity was all about adding kink to our sexlife - to revitalize it, and I never Thought that it would lead for me to have no O’s, - and that I would be thrilled and satisfied more than a hole bunch of orgasms could ever giver me…

I Do not crawl the walls - It does not seem to work quite in that direction for me -, for us.

Of Course I am filled with lust and desire for her! If You could only see my balls .. (Yes, the cock you can’t see, - it is tucked away in a fully enclosed steel tube)

But I love this state of mind and what it does to me. I even do my job better, with much more joy and dedication.

I have become a very manageable sub, I foresee her demands - I hardly need any “education” or punishment - and that's - bye the way - not a problem for me. Not that I fear it- (I used to be a pain slut) - but it is not a thing that would add more intensity to the seance - to this life! I have already completely surrendered myself to her and to this way of life. I have found peace, affection and love… in horniness and desire. Imagine that!

Last night - just before wonderful sex - for her of course , she locked me out - and spoke to her cock - which she has acquired the habit of doing :

"I know that I have said that there is a minimum 60 days before you are allowed to go, but the past month has gone so well , so I've decided to extend the period for - maybe indefinitely ! - It will be interesting to see how you 're doing all summer - I believe in you " - and then she began to slowly suck her cock - which throbbed merrily ....

Have we come a long way in just one year! Has she come a long way !!

It makes me so happy and so proud. You can call it " topping from the bottom " or anything else if you like , but no : we have opened these doors together - and we have together embraced this way of life . Completely voluntary , because we could see what lifesaver and gamechanger it was .. Now she has taking over and I’m confident in her every decision…

She stopped sucking - and squeezed my balls hard and lay on her back and spread her beautiful legs . Time to go to work! Wonderful. The session was interrupted only by her desire for penetration, - now that the bird still was out of the cage. It was a wonderful gift , even though I knew the conditions . No release for me ...

I do not think there will be a need for any Strap-ons for us ..
She Craves cock - real cock, and Thank lord - it is mine - Ups - Hers - Lol...!
No Cuckold fantasy here! She makes use of her property , and why should’nt she?
She enjoys it quite openly, and indeed even more now, when she is in full control and now that I may not cum at all. She is turned on by her power over me. Unbelievable turned on…

I love and enjoy intimacy and her desire for me - on her terms. I know that this lifestyle will develop further, we will discover - I guess at a slower pace - new sides to this, - but we are so pleased with where we are. She tells that and shows me that, over and over, so of course I believe her… It is not my opinion alone, it’s a joint statement of our life…

Yes, of course it is a work in progress, - but it is a kind of work - You would die for…

 

Uhmmm , I see - at least I think - where the confusion comes from, Let me try to explain:
"Real cock" - is real - meaning in flesh and blood , opposed to an artificial Strap-on. Also - "Real cock" does not imply that my member is more "real cock" than any other male cock in flesh and blood. But it implies however that her property is quite useful as real "meat" if she so desires. No - it is NOT a little dickie! - to put it in CM terminology... Lol...

When I write that I have defeated orgasm it does not imply that I have defeated her use of my member ( her property) to satisfy HER needs. It implies that I have traded release for the good of serving her in all, without any decline in standards.
I am not saying that strap-ons and other means of setting me straight will never be part of our lifestyle. She has developed in this lifestyle tremendously already, so who knows what measures she will introduce me to further down the road.
But in my humble opinion I think that if it were to happen, it would most likely be because she would feel, that she experience lack of total surrender, and decline in service... and not because she wanted to edge and/or humiliate me. Edging works better when I - hormy as hell - am ordered to penetrate, but also ordered not to cum...
She has toys ( some of which she made me go and purchase for her, and sometimes makes we watch when she plays with dildos, and vibrators. That is certainly one way of edging me!

For the record, I do not expect penetration of any kind - to be on the agenda that often. She seems most of the time quite happy with me serving her, orally , licking and rimming, when and where she pleases.. And for edging - it is the same. It does not happen that often. I guess she does not see a need for that, as long as my services and submissivness is to her satisfaction.

I understand that many FLR also is about teasing and tormenting the sub , to make his denial even more intense. That seems to underline his status as sub. We are not there I guess- She does not seem to be heading in that direction.
A very selfish answer to why not? - could be - that she is just as pleased - if not more - than I am with her subs current behavior, submissiveness, devotion, and service

@Mistress B - Does this make any sense to you...?

 

@Mistress B - Ohh, I'm sorry...
I take that you see penetration as violation of Permanent denial? If it in fact is, I see where you see the discrepancy in my statement. In my own humble definition of permanent denial - I have put my money on "permanent denial of release", disallowing discharging semen in any fashion at all...
It does not - again in my definition mean permanent lock up.
I am pretty much locked up all the time. Under her supervision she demands "airtime" now and then, to keep it healthy. It is after all a closed steel tube with just a little pee hole.

 

@Mistress B - It is in general not good behavior to be too cocky, when You are a sub;-) - but I have always had a very strong self control - when needed, and when a higher goal had to be achieved...
Not necessarily to compare chastity with a marathon, - but - as an example of my self control: when I started to run the marathon distance, I discovered the ability to lock out pain from my mind. I managed to separate mind from body, running legs from head, - and therefore the pain that my legs ended up feeling , was no pain of mine. I was fresh in my head, and someone else than me = my legs had to carry the burden across the Golden Gate of San Francisco or wherever I was running... ( Yes, I worked there for almost a year to build up a branch of our company)

That gift came in handy when I started - in the dark to pierce my member. I did it a lot, and pain was never an issue. It was almost too damn easy. Now, thank God, - all these play piercing games are over, I have no secrets from my wife and I now only hold a small PA- ring as part of our non-eescapable chastity solution...

That ability - to numb my mind from exhaustion and pain has been a stepping stone for me and my new life in chastity. I endure a lot, and have great self control, -and when I set my mind on not to cum, no matter what stimulation I receive, I still haven't failed. My wife is very well aware of this gift of mine, and she sure knows how to take advantage of it...
So - no numbing cream for me!
Hope that explains why it works for us...

Have a great day!

 

Hey, had to look up that word: "dumbstruck" to understand your reply/remark
It helped some, -but I got myself a bit confused: Was it dumbstruck in misbelief or was it dumbstruck in some sort of acknowledgment / amazement?
I know it can be hard to comprehend - such an ability - but It occurs. I'm not a freak. Well, I hope not;-)
Obviously , We are not that many, but I am certainly not the only one who has this ability to sidetrack pain and other "stimulations". Once You start to look into this - You will find it well covered in for example meditative literature . And You will find that besides that some of us are gifted, others can be trained to achieve - to a certain degree - this filtering.

It comes in handy in this lifestyle, ( No need for numbing cream etc.. ;-) ) - but it can also be dangerous - if it is exploited or overlooked. How come?
You can exhaust or harm a body if it is not responding adequately to the usual warnings that this body signals. So You have to be careful after all. Just like BDSM games can turn ugly in the hands of an new strict master if no stop word has been agreed upon, so can this "ability" inflict unintended harm if the Domme is not aware of possible missing signals from the sub...
But this domme - my wife - knows... - ( even though she was some dumbstruck herself - once I led her on this;-)
And one of the great advantages of this compared to numbing cream an such, is that this self numbing can be turned off, just like that... That flexibility can come in handy, when it is allowed to led "all systems go!"
and for true record, - it is not something that I manage to do every time, just like that. But good practices has
given me a fair amount of control.
From a Domme perspective that could be seen as a problem, - because control is something that is supped to be reserved for the Domme, - and not for the sub, right? On the other hand - once the Domme knows about this ability, it can be put to play, - and open up another level of domination, teasing, and denial...

Well enough of that, - sorry for writing too long explanations, - it is getting to self-centered - I'm afraid.

Having said that - I believe that You @Mistress B - along with others D's asked for my wife to join in on CM. She did just that yesterday! Of course I did her Avatar - Lol.. - but besides that she has instructed me to step aside. She will still look into my posts - as always, - but that's about it. You can find her under her chosen name @DREWife .

Time to snuggle in...

 

Certainly, I will pass best wishes on to her, Thank You, and I'm sure she will come to like it here. She has been tempted earlier on, but it was only yesterday or so, she finally crossed this border;-)

Regarding my "gift" or ability I can only say, that I am thrilled that it makes it possible for her to enjoy PIV sex with her real cock, my member ;-) . As much as I can understand and accept her wish for me to stay denied indefinitely , I could see a conflict rising: How would that demand go along with her spoken desire for PIV sex? And would it down the road fuel a desire to get it fulfilled elsewhere? I know that this is a dream come through for many here on CM, - but it is not a desire of mine. I can for a brief moment be turned on by the very thought , but that's about it.!
I do not in real life want to be turned into a cuckold, not of free will, and not forced either. I think by accepting maybe indefinitely denial, that I have sacrificed to her satisfaction, and with my ability to hold back and sidetrack stimulation and pain, I have given her more options to take pleasure from and with. I sense that she agrees with me on this, but of course I could be mistaken?

Of course I need to emphasize how happy and fortunate I am that I get this opportunity - from time to time to still feel what it is like to have PIV sex. The fact that I am not allowed to cum, does not at all subtract from the experience, - actually - in it own way- it makes it even more intense, intimate and rewarding for me. And for her, I feel that it turns her on, makes her feel even more in control, and the scent of her sex? - it amplifies substantially and transforms into pure heaven..... It tells me that this gift of mine must do her something good

Pardon me for even saying this: It is my humble wish for Jemina, that "she"somehow could experience this herself. I know her well enough already - I think - to believe that she would love to be able to offer this to her beloved Mistress...

Enough of me making assumptions! Sorry, and a very humble good night to You

 

Perfect would for me be - to be be allowed to serve her even more, Why noy 5 times a day, orally and all;-) Lol...
No - of course I can't hide that I like it a lot!!! -where we are - what we have achieved - how she has blossomed as my Domme,, my everything.
She, here beside me in bed - now in her beauty sleep, as I sit and write to You on my MacBook Air, woken up with another caged erection, - having her soft hand on my thigh, hearing her calm breathing, after having served her orally - only 2 hours ago, still having the scent of her sex all over my face, - I could not be happier.

I do a special photo book every Year of my best shots. I take thousand of private photos every year, besides the ones I do professionally a part of my job, and pick the best 100-150 private shoots to go into this big hardcover printed photo album, Every Year I come up with a special title for the yearly collection, and for 2013 it was: " While everybody else are heading for a divorce..."
What I wanted to express, was my gratitude, for the wonderful development in our relationship, our bond, developing more and more throughout the year, starting the very day I popped the question... and showed her our first chastity device....
Last year - way too many of our friends have broken up in their relationships.
No one seems to try and fix issues anymore, they just split up, and abandon the ship, over night, more or less.
Sad.....
And at the same time WE have never been more close, feeling more connected, more in love, than now. I feel certain that she - if asked- would not disagree at all! - She is acting amazed by the effects of this lifestyle, and I think that she even now and then has to pinch herself in the arm to assure herself . that this is for real
Sometimes I play with the thought of offering this lifestyle as marriage therapy to our heartbroken or fed up divorcing friends, but we are not there yet. We have this one friend of hers who knows, and more... ;-) That will have to do for now... We have to realize, that even though we have come to see a FLR as the obvious choice, others living straight vanilla, would have huge mental thresholds to overcome....But, We would certainly be the talk of the town Lol... ( we live in a rather small town in Denmark).

I hope You will manage to hook up with my wife here on CM in the chat and such, - I am confident that she will appreciate your views and insight - as I Do. ( Even though I guess that the two of you would talk about the lifestyle from a different angle than I would know of... ;-) )

Sincerly

 

Hey, - My wife just pulled another new trick last night.

Having been denied release for since God knows when, and me been upgraded to "indefinitely" denial , - she striped naked in front of me last night, unlocked me and kneeled down in front of me. What? - that is my position!!
She then instructed me - not to cum but to do exactly as told. She then open her mouth and took my throbbing cock ( her property) in. The first 5 or 6 sucks were like heaven But then things took a turn.
She grabbed my buttocks and pulled my closer. Was she about to deepthroat me??
Nope!
Instead she started to nail her teeth into her cock while thrusting harder and harder. She forced the cock back and forth over her teeth, -and if I moaned in delight - and pain, - she just tightened her hold on me, and thrusted ever harder. The passage she made between her teeth narrowed, but still she managed to thrust. She suddenly stopped and looked up. "Now, - You can do it." And then I hold her head and thrusted again and again, while she constantly was observing my torment and delight... with her sexy eyes.
Yes, it hurt, - but who cares! I was getting close. And then she just pulled back....
Normally she would have ordered me to serve her orally, but no, - she gave me a wicked smile and ordered me to bed... "Just wanted to see if you could cope - You did good!" and continued "Now go to sleep, unlocked, - but don't you dare to touch!" WauuuH, - that is what I call a tease!
Well, it was pretty sore after the rough treatment, so I think she must have thought that it needed a little recovery;-).
My self control have reached to where I hardly ever doubt myself. There was no touching what so ever. And No nightboner either! - lol... I was sore for sure, - but oh so fulfilled with submissive devotion, peace and fell asleep while she - next to me - was reading a magazine...

---
This morning - we stayed in bed until 9.00 - it is a holiday and she must have been tempted by the look of my 7" throbbing member - because she requested penetration, - but still - of course - no cum! What a way to start a holiday.
"Can you feel it?"- she asked me with a wicked smile, - And I can tell you that I could feel it. Still sore from last nights endeavors the feeling was extremely intense, - yet she was so demanding.
Normally I can hold much longer, but I guess that this soreness, made it so much harder. She sensed that - eventually, - and fore my endurance I was rewarded with a great orally service of her very soaked sex....
After that I was caged, got dressed, when to the bakery, and home, to serve her breakfast in bed...

I was tricked again..
When I came back she greeted me in the doorway, with a smile and a sweet kiss. And a very breathtaking:
"I love You so much"....

Life is good!

 

Today it has been a full year - embracing this lifestyle - and I am thrilled, with the outcome. It is beyond my wildest dreams!!! I have had like 11 to 12 releases in that first year - no wonder I have been feeling so lovely submissive all the time. Lol..!! And they come with longer and longer intervals. Her numbers goes in 3-digits.
She wants it like this, - and I just go along with her every desire. I must have done something right in my introduction to her... - and She has been nothing but wonderful in her embrace - and her taking over- completely.

I guess I was careful enough to get what I wished for

Sorry for being so lightheaded, but its feels like a major milestone - an achievement, and not a sacrifice.
A blessing...
We talked this morning about celebration - and she made it perfectly clear that I could forget all about release. And for other "activities" she also stated That I should not expect anything, - I would have no saying in this- anniversary or not! She said that with the sweetest wicked smile in the world...

The truth is that this answer was the best answer I could get

To all - Have a lovely sunny day her on CM and elsewhere.

Sincerly BluEyes

 

Update, - she cuffed to the bed and made me watch slow motion blow jobs on my iMac for an hour , while she was relaxing in the tub, in between my services. Lets have some more anniversaries - right away!
Did I mention - no release for me?
I might write more, but I will have to ask this time. New policies , Lol... Let's see...

 

The New Policy is settled - not to write about intimate details from now on. No more juicy reports from BlueEyes I'm afraid.
That is so OK with me, and is just another proof of her - taking over. I got what I wished for, - didn't I? Lol...

But I Am not leaving CM - far from. I like it here, and she also acknowledge the contribution from CM in our journey. Really! Part of the process has been her reading mine and others thoughts. Sometimes it is damn hard to express verbally isn't it?
I will continue to report from our journey but without details.

Maybe I should take up fiction?- I my English only was better - LOL!!!
I don't think that she would approve, - and there is no need for it either.
I have plenty of excitement in my life - seated in first row...

 

Here you have a new link to the PDF version of the entire initial journey, - including a mind-blowing trip to Berlin together with my wife and her Girlfriend Anne.