Spanking, whipping, caning... consensual discipline?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Mistress Watchful, Dec 18, 2008.

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  1. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    A nice little Mistress Watchful tangle for people to get their heads around! :sex020:

    What should a Domme do if her submissive is anti corporal punishment?

    I *love* the sound of spanking and whipping, and I think it is a great way to correct a submissive and teach them right from wrong.

    I, personally, am a pain slut and as such find few things more pleasurable than the sound and sting that these events create.

    pet, is very anti pain!

    I know the easy thing to say would be "Whose in charge? Whip away Ms Watchful!" but is that right?

    Everyone here knows me, and knows I would not thrash pet within an inch of his life... but when I think back to the spanking session I gave him... and fantasise about tying him up, gagging him and cropping his bare behind.... *sigh*

    So my question is - is it consensual if pet "puts up with" punishment because it's what *I* deem to be necessary?

    If he is truly anti pain, would it be abusive of me to administer it? Or, given the fact that I know he hates pain but he knows his safe word... if I punished him physically mid-scene, would it be consensual if he did not retaliate?

    Not looking for a legal argument, just wondering for my own sense of peace. Sometimes I think a good hiding would clear up a few issues round here!
     
  2. PuppyMastersPet
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    I hate pain, I don’t get any pleasure from it at all so in that respect it is a good tool for Master to use when I’ve stepped out of line. Master would never cause me a great deal of pain but he uses just enough so that I get the idea.

    Master uses nipple clamps quite often Master also has a whip that he likes to use. I prefer the whip to the crop as it can be used to tease as well as cause pain.

    There are also many other ways in which a sub can be punished. In the early days I would spend a lot of time holding an object against a wall with my nose whilst on my knees. Whilst it doesn’t sound like a punishment after 5 minuets of doing it I would soon be sorry, it’s not comfortable.

    A Master or Mistress should be allowed to use a many of the tools of punishment as they can. If a punishment is lax or easy then it won’t be effective. After all that’s what safe words are for also as a dom you will know if the sub is truly suffering and you can stop at any time.
     
  3. chastityslavejohn
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    chastityslavejohn Mistress Irianna's pet

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    Mistress Watchful,

    i can only speak from my own experience of just over 2 years. i have always been interested in Femdom and fantisized about it since before puberty. i was always trying to get the girls to tie me up when we played cowboys and indians. it took me over 50 years to get to act out those delicious fantasies.

    in my head i love the IDEA of being spanked and beaten, i'm throbbing inside my CB3000 as i type this. but then there is the reality of being spanked and beaten...it HURTS!! as much as i love it i always get nervous as Mistress restrains me for my punishment. thoughts race through my head, how much is it gonna hurt this time?, what will She use on me?, why did i ever buy Her that stupid paddle? will She push my limits and really whip me harder than i can take?

    once Mistress gets started i relax and even smile...at first. i can get into that sub space and just surf the pain, sometimes more easily than others, but i still cry out in pain and squirm from Her blows. it hurts! and no matter how my brain understands that i deserve to be punished and that i like being beaten by a woman and that it's part of my training to make me a better slave...it still hurts. Mistress gives me a good hard beating, sometimes for well over an hour. last time i lost my voice and was hoarse the next day. and yet, i have never used my safe word. yes, i have begged for mercy and promised the moon and stars to make it stop, but never the safe word.

    hope that helps though i know it's not really answering Your question.

    humbly, slavejohn
     
  4. Fred Norman
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    Fred Norman Member

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    Well... As a switch, I think there is nothing so satisfying, so 'cleansing' as CP! From both ends! It relieves all kinds of tensions.

    But other punishments, non-painful?

    Various humiliations?

    I recall Ms Christine liked the slave in the tub for a day as her 'tinkle on toy'

    or: ten ruined O's over a month.

    Hot cream? electro- shock? Hours cuffed wrist to ankle, ala the stocks? Same cuffing only hands in back, then kneeling on a tray of rice grains? Heavier, a try pea gravel. The tears will flow...

    Yes, non-use of the safe word, I think, is consent.
     
  5. Miss D
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    Miss D Expert In Femming

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    Ahhhhh.. Mistress Watchful - a very good question. This is how I would handle a subby who doesn't like to be spanked. I like to give choices - so one way a subby could earn reward is to submit to a spanking - it's all in their hands then. And... the beauty of it is - they learn to associate spanking with pleasure. Of course, not everyone, has it in their nature to enjoy getting a spanking or to enjoy delivering a spanking. But it can be a cultivated taste - something that grows. And it is soooo effective in the right circumstances... for both the spankee and the spanker.

    I do love the sound of leather hitting an exposed cheek... The pretty red bottom looks so cute. And if it's a sissy getting the spanking - even better - panties look so cute on a red behind. There is no mood changer better than an attitude adjustment.

    One last thought... spanking can be a prolonged activity. Rather than hard painful spanks.. a constant gentle spanking turns the behind even redder and the spankee remembers it for quite a while - every time she sits....

    I want to hear other opinions on this!


    :spankwhip::smilies_xxx22::sex020::evilgrin0036:
     
  6. PT109
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    PT109 Senior Member

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    Lots of good ideas here, but I would suggest that you try to condition him to enjoy the pain. I am very sensitive to pain but have learned to love light corporal punishment. Always start very slowly with the strokes. One out of five can be a little stronger. Gradually increase the severity and intersperse with teasing and soft stroking with the fingers or something sensual like a piece of fur etc. Ask your sub which instrument he prefers or which is the least hurtful for him. Always start with the least damaging (say a light flogger) and progress toward a sharper type of pain (like a crop). Even when your sub has been trained to enjoy the punishment, always start lightly so that his body can produce the natural painkillers that will enhance his experience.
    Of course, once you have thoroughly trained him to enjoy the pain, you may lose the satisfaction of truly punishing him, but you can always threaten him that you are going to start with the crop or stinging whip and not take it easy on him. When both of you come to an understanding of exactly how hard to strike with each instrument (this will take as much training on your part as his) you can keep him exactly on the edge between pleasure and pain, give him as much pleasure as he can bear while still occasionally crossing the line to surprise him with a harsh strike. After a few harsh strikes, always slow down your strokes so that his body can catch up with the endorphin production which should put him back into sub space.
    Just a few ideas- I hope they are helpful.
     
  7. chastitycuckold
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    chastitycuckold Senior Member

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    I was going to answer then thought better of it:happy0195:
     
  8. Miss D
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    Miss D Expert In Femming

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    Wow... I just read what I wrote... Do you think I enjoy spanking or what?

    Someone mentioned alternatives... a good dildoing can be quite effective as well.


    :smilies_xxx06:
     
  9. MistressIrianna
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    MistressIrianna Junior Member

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    Mistress Watchful,

    My pet, slavechastityjohn, did not enjoy spankings nor was he as appreciative in the beginning, I used a different technique.

    he liked the idea of it, but when it came down to it, the actual act was quite different in the beginnning. It was a struggle to get him to relax, he learned to relax.

    I would tie him down and placed a pillow under him around his stomach so that his behind was in the air but more importantly, I could easily reach between his legs and stroke him.

    I would allow him to select the toy I would use to spank with. Sometimes he would pick a very slim stick, or the crop, whip, flogger. Whatever it was, it was he who chose what to use.

    I would smack his behind slow and lightly for 5 - 10 strokes. When he would start to squirm, I stopped and reached between his legs to stroke him. I continued to spank and stroke him until he came.

    I continued to repeat this session after session until he enjoyed it & begged me daily or remind me or his transgressions constantly. Now, as you can see, my beloved pet, begs for his punishments.

    If he is bad, and deserves punishment, it is punishment and harsh. If he is not, both he and I enjoy the entire experience. I seldom allow him to cum list that anymore. He is training to a new level and doesn't deserve such delicious retreats yet.

    :happy0011:
     
  10. Fred Norman
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    Fred Norman Member

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    Training to the Whip. As was done to me, and now I also do to others:

    Position the slave, then sensually run hands over it's body. Playing, tickling, teasing. Eventually move to a fur glove, or feathers. What we're doing is awaking the lymphatic system. When slave is wiggling/giggling, start with light strokes. Gradually increase these over time. Start with a light, thuddy flogger, then heavier/stingy. Then maybe, a cat or a single tail. Watch the breathing. Always hit on the exhale. Let's them process the pain better, gets them to sub space sooner.

    By now the endorphins and the adrenaline should be in full flow. At this point I've been know to beg for more cane.

    "Please Mistress? Could I have 6 more... harder?"

    Finish up with soft strokes of a feather. AH! there is nothing like an ostrich plume to reddened skin!!! It's not pain, not tickle. But the nervous system is SOO alive. Sensation unlike any other. They'll beg to do it again, and again.

    FN
     
  11. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Oh you're all so amazing! :manga_shout:

    See... my mind immediately processes hard, stinging, breathtaking strokes... I guess I forgot about the gentle start and warming up!

    This is why I ask, because I do not have any aversion to pain, so to have a submissive who is the complete opposite is a bit nervewracking!

    I need to reprogram my thinking from pain and discipline to sensitisation play.
     
  12. Fred Norman
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    Fred Norman Member

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    Flogging Made Simple by FredNorman copywrite

    If you’re both relatively new to the scene or a female, the chances that you’re flogging correctly are 1 in 3. It seems that the females especially,
    try to swing the whip using just a wrist, or an elbow motion. You can get away with this for the lighter strokes, but as you move up in intensity, with this motion you’ll soon have a bad case of tendonitis. Not good pain even for a
    bottom. This can take weeks to heal.

    Correct method is to swing from the shoulder, elbow straight, but not
    locked. Exactly like a tennis stroke. This allows you get your back and
    shoulder muscles into it, to hit harder, and more accurately. Remember to
    follow through. Don’t stop the stroke, let it flow through the target.

    There are only four strokes you need: forehand, backhand, up stroke,
    down stroke. Diagonals are just combinations of these. The windshield wiper, and the figure eight, look good and flashy, but are only of use to impress bystanders. They’re not very accurate, nor very strong.
    Same with dual floggers. You're playing to the peanut gallery!

    Some find more accuracy if they start the forehand with the tails resting on their shoulder. The backhand is usually done with the tails in your off
    hand. Up and down are self explanatory.
    Ambidextrous floggers are highly valued and respected. Plus it allows you to reach more of the body, and from different angles. Practice with both hands.

    Foot position is important. You’ll find some books that go on and on
    “....your left foot must be 12.763 inches ahead of your right...”.

    Just stand comfortably in a stable, well grounded stance. I’ve never
    done a flogging in 4-5 inch heels, but then I’ve never understood how
    you ladies can walk in them either. You may want to consider kicking off your shoes for the flogging.

    For fore and back hand, stand slightly to the side of your target.
    The vertical strokes, directly behind, with the tails in line with the target.

    Most important: Always be aware of where your tips are going. The
    real working part of the whip is the last three inches of the tail .
    Practice on soft surfaces, (pillows, or sofa cushions) until you can
    put the tips exactly where you want them to go, with both hard and soft
    strokes. Practice also on a vertical target. Tape a pillow to a wall or bed post.

    You’ll hear that wrap around strokes are bad. NONSENSE. Accidental wraps are bad. I use intentional wraps all the time, for breasts, inner thighs and armpits. The tips will greatly accelerate as they wrap, so start this stroke with half the force you normally use.

    The back and buttocks are the ideal targets, but you can use any flesh
    parts of the body. Thighs, chest, etc. Avoid bony areas like ribs. Always avoid the kidney area.

    The front of the body is about three times more sensitive than the back, so lighten up your strokes again. If you’re going to do the front, shield the eyes. Accidents happen.

    Even hardened masochists HATE getting a stroke on the upper neck.
    Avoid the area between the base of the neck, and the base of the skull.
    Some use a towel draped over this area, especially with single tail play. Leather neck guards are made, but are expensive.
    Do hit the 'sweet spot' between the bottom crease of the buttocks and the anus. The nerves here join with the genital nerves around L4-5-6.
    The brain, under certain conditions, will interpret these as sexual stimulation.

    Time your strokes:

    When I’m starting out, doing warm up, or just a light flogging, I’ll
    land one stroke every 1-2 seconds. As I move up in force, the interval
    between strokes lengthens, Medium strokes 3-4 secs., hard strokes 5-6
    seconds. This gives the target time to process the pain, and get to
    sub space sooner. Single tails, a sudden sharp, intense pain,
    I allow 10-20 seconds to let the pain soak in. A frequest break may be needed for both of you. Rest and rehydrate. During this time rub, stroke fondle where you have been hitting. Very enjoyable to the top, and enjoyable, maybe slightly humiliating for the bottom. Kind of a highlighting, while you both catch your breath.

    Watch the sub’s breathing. Time your strokes to land as s/he exhales.
    You’ll have to work together on this. The principal being; If the target is breathing out at the stroke, s/he can think of receiving the pain, the energy, and breathing it out, releasing it through the body.
    Some of the energy, of course stays, but this way the sub can take more, longer, and gets to sub space sooner.

    Conversely, if for some reason, you want to do a very punishing
    flogging, hit on the inhale. They can’t process the pain, resulting
    not in sub space, but tears and wailing.

    For the floggee... Stay as relaxed as possible, and remember to breathe. Think of receiving the energy, breathing out the pain. Or, if it’s your thing, tighten up and it’ll all hurt more.


    Recapping:

    Swing from the shoulder, follow through
    Comfortable stance, moving your feet as you move strokes around the body
    Practice aim. Watch your tips.
    Space/time your strokes
    Watch target’s breathing

    Now...Wasn’t that easy?

    FredNorman
     
  13. mikecb
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    mikecb Member

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    Hmm. This is really a tough question for me. I'm a total pain slut. At least at this stage, I find it difficult to envision a flogging that would be so painful as to be "corrective" without me either being damaged, or simply safewording out of. Pain is just SUCH a turn-on for me, that it's not punishment.

    That said, there are plenty of non-corporal things that I WOULD consider punishment, but wouldn't safeword. Many have been mentioned already - predicament bondage, golden showers, unpleasant tasks.

    I guess the question for me comes down to what your priority is? Do you wish to punish him (for correction) more, or do you wish to give him pain (for your pleasure) more?

    Here's an idea that kinda turns me on. Perhaps it would turn on your pet, too. Imagine you sit him down, and have him make a list of punishments that he would accept - from minor, to severe.... pressing him to "challenge himself" here. Then, the next time he needs "correction", you might ask "What punishment do you think you deserve?" Of course, you do what you wish, but you've forced him to acknowledge his transgression, and he's given you a bit of a barometer on how bad each of these punishments really SEEM to him.

    Just a thought...
    mikecb
     
  14. dubsub
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    dubsub Member

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    Its a little hard for a pain slut like me that would love you to give me 500 full cane strokes to imagine a sub that does not like pain. I think the best advice so far is to warn him up slowly until he crosses the bridge. When you cross that there is no pain only a warm thud.
    My longest thrashing was last May when Mistress whipped and caned me for an hour. The first five minutes was very very painful After that I was almost laughing because it felt so good. A lot of damage though and it took months to repair.
    My advice, you are in charge and whip the hell out of him he will love you for it.

    dubsub
     
  15. Miss D
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    Miss D Expert In Femming

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    This concludes this semester's session of Spankology 101. For those students desiring to know more about the fascinating subject of Spanking, I suggest that you register in the graduate level Spankology class offered next term. It's a hands-on approach that will satisfy even the most curious students. Now, drop your panties and assume the position!

    :smilies_xxx22:
     
  16. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Since I posted this thread 2 days ago I have done a lot of searching for implements on the web. I like what I see!

    I'm getting to the point now where I am feeling the "need" to use these items and incorporate them into scenes.

    I think this might be the missing link.

    I feel almost as though this was what was missing. The true symbol of Dominance. Maybe because I have been deprived of this major "tool" is one of the reasons I have struggled.
     
  17. PT109
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    PT109 Senior Member

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    I can't imagine domination without punishment. To me it is the "switch" that closes the circuit and completes the infinite loop of submissive conditioning. It is both highly symbolic and very real at the same time. Punishment validates the position of the dominant and confirms the position of the submissive and always seems right or correct to both parties despite the exact circumstances or the level of skill involved.
     
  18. dubsub
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    dubsub Member

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    Please please Mistress Watchful please go on e-bay and buy a genuine Scottish Tawse. Make sure it is a Lockgelly original at least 150 grams in weight. This is the ultimate harsh tool and will bring genuine results in your implement quest. The sting is so harsh it will bring tears to any subs eyes. Expect to pay at least 50 pounds for a real one. Well worth the money.

    Use it on hands and ass.

    Respectfully

    dubsub
     
  19. Wilson
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    Wilson Junior Member

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    Ummm...

    If he doesn't use the safe word it's fair game. I'm locked up but sometimes I need discipline. To be honest I claim not to care for it but secretly fantsize about sometimes... :manga_balloon:
     
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