Frustrated not being Frustrated

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by dboy, Feb 1, 2010.

  1. dboy
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    dboy Junior Member

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    This is my first post here. I'm a long time lurker and while I don't have the desire for chastity, I do have a
    desire for female domination and chastity seemed rather exciting. But as I read further, I saw so many
    happy people, so many relationships going to higher levels of joy and happiness. When I hear people saying
    they've never been happier, their relationship with their wives going to levels they never though possible, I
    started to think there's something more going on here and became rather envious.

    I normally masturbate at least 2 times a day, many times 3,4,5 or more. It hasn't bothered my wife or
    affected my ability to please my wife or interfered with any part of my life. So there's no reason for chastity
    other that my desire for it. And my desire is not for chastity per se, but to experience that joy it apparantly
    can bring.

    This week I though "I'm not getting any younger" so decided to try out chastity for myself. Sort of a test
    run. I wanted to feel what I've read about. I wanted to experience the intense horniess and longing for
    my wife. I wanted to experience some of the joy that others have. I don't have a chastity device and wasn't
    going to spend money on one if I didn't like chastity. I know that there are those in chastity without chastity
    devices so I thought this would be a valid test.

    My wife knows nothing of it and nothing about my chastity reading over the years. She has a natural
    dominant tendency (but we don't have any D/S in our play) and could probably get behind chastity if I wanted it. But I don't think it's something she wants at this point. There's never been a suggestion that she's upset about my private sexual sessions.

    When I started this experiment, I also knew that tease and denial during chastity accelerates the process so
    after the second day, once a day, I would masturbate but not cum. But instead of feeling hornier, I felt less horny. It's been almost 7 days since I last came. But sadly, I don't feel any different or feel any of the benefits of chastity that I've read about. I don't feel any more desire for my wife (our relationship is very good already), I don't feel any different when kssing or otherwise being with her. I think I had more desire for her when I was masturbating.


    I'm not as young and horny as I used to be, so maybe that's it. I'm 59, but look a lot younger, and in good health. Now I'm beginning to feel a bit over the hill, but I know that many my age are in chastity and benefiting from it.

    So I'm very confused. I don't know if I continue for another week if I will start experiencing what others have.
    If I don't feel any difference after 2 weeks of chastity, I think I will give up. I mean how long should it take? I
    read about others being locked up for a few days and starting to get crazy. If I were locked in a CD, I don't
    think it would be any different. Apparantly I can keep my hands off myself and just adjust to no sex. But that's
    not something I want. I enjoy masturbating.

    Perhaps my sexuality is too different. I like to edge myself and I'm used to stopping close to an orgasm. I can masturbate and a minute later feel horny again. I will sometimes masturbate 3 times in a row over a period of maybe half an hour. And still feel horny. I do feel satisifed after an orgasm, but ready for more. You would think that a little denial would go a long way.

    I'm writing this post to get some feedback and if anyone knows what's going on here. How long do I have to
    be chaste to feel the effects? What's wrong with me? So many here having such a wonderful journey. I feel
    sooooo cheated!

    Thanks for listening.
     
  2. jaimelynn
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    jaimelynn Senior Member

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    Hello dboy,

    Welcome to the Mansion.

    i would suggest not even touching yourself except for using the restroom for one, the feeling you're getting now is probably being satisfied by the once a day thing. It's a different feeling when you can't even touch it.

    The second thing i can recommend is a sit down heart to heart talk with your wife. You won't know exactly how She feels until you sit down and talk. On that note:becareful:
     
  3. enigmaPOJ
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    enigmaPOJ Member

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    One of the aspects of chastity that is exciting is having the keyholder. Knowing that you are locked until they unlock you is a powerful thing and that dynamic is what you are missing. Even if you don't want to spend $$$ on a device just having to have permission from her to orgasm or even touch yourself is very powerful, of course have a device locked on makes it even more powerful and will connect you in ways you never though possible.
     
  4. dboy
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    dboy Junior Member

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    Thank you for your replies. They certainly make sense. And EnigmaPOJ, your last sentence echoes what
    I've read and am looking for with my wife. But I think the big issue here is that the vast majority of men here
    wanted to be chaste, wanted to be denied, it was their fantasy, and if a KH was doing it, so much the better. They are many who
    are self locked, asuumably because the enjoy the feeling of being chaste, even though they aren't doing it for
    anyone. But I don't have a desire or kink for chastity. It's only the side affects that I'm interested in at this
    point. From my readings, I would expect some physiological changes even without a KH or CD. I thought I would get hornier. The reverse seemed to happen. I have less sexual energy. Rather upsetting.

    Perhaps I'm expecting too much but I've read many stories of men locked just a few days before major
    changes in their emotional life happened. After one week of denial, many of them were a mess. But I've also
    read that it sometimes takes weeks or more to get into the zone. But even on the way to the zone, aren't
    there noticable changes?

    My wife an I aren't doing any D/S now but I woiuld like to introduce it to her gradually. I think she's a natural.
    Our current living situation is upsetting to her and that prevents any serious movement in the D/S direction.
    And perhaps I'll introduce chastity to her at that time and see how it goes.

    I've seen and read all too much of "be careful what you wish for". Sounds like a warning to me. So shouldn't I actually enjoy chastity before
    wishing for it? Suppose I took the time it would take for my wife to really enjoy locking me up to then see if I
    enjoyed being locked under her control. It would probably be too late to go back then, or at the very least
    cause a lot of grief. That's what this 'test run' is all about. To see if I enjoy being denied for a length of time.

    One week and counting.
     
  5. Petite Salope
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    Petite Salope Sissy Cherry

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    When you have a CD and your wife the only key, She gets total and full control. Meaning if you want to go swimming, you might have to wear to CD under your swimming suit, you have to change some habits.
    She might release you to go to the beach if you're nice enough to Her. With a CD you change even more.

    Your wife doesn't know about your chastity test, so mentally it's not really the same, I remember before getting my CB-6000, She had control over me but I wasn't feeling really chaste yet but when I got my CD the feeling changed, I was more romantic to Her and more...

    -Cherry
     
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