For me, it all started in my early teens. I discovered 2 different fetishes, separate from each other by chance. The first one I was 12 years old and my buddy asked me to go get a Nintendo controller from upstairs. Upstairs, I saw his mom taking a nap and she was in a T-shirt and panties. From that day forward, panties have been my biggest fetish and turn on. Shortly after that, I was snooping in my parents room and found my dads porno mag stash (yes. I’m that old) looking through them, I found these little catalogs that were a selection of videos you could order by mail. Since they were easier to hide, I took a few. I soon found myself looking at the BDSM section and being mesmerized. When I turned 18, I joined the Army and left home. Having my own computer and internet did nothing but fuel my search into BDSM. It was then I found something interesting- FEMDOM. And they were literally combining my two biggest kinks. Searching the internet led me down some long, dark rabbit holes that led to self exploration. Nothing too crazy though. Most of the time, I would end up wearing panties I had “borrowed” from someone and as soon as I touched myself, I’d bust. I kept all this my shameful secret though out of fear of what others would think. A straight alpha male that want to do whatever a domme tells him while wearing panties under his male clothes.
Over the years, I’d explore when I could and try different things out on myself. I found a few websites I liked and figured out what really got me turned on. still ashamed, I never confessed my fantasies to anyone and would get panties anyway I could to wear and jerk off with. Almost 20 years after discovering this about myself, I had a very detailed idea of what I liked (at least long enough to cum) In a nutshell, I wanted to give up control and do what I was told by a sexy, dominant female
I have been wearing Jockey men's bikini under wear for three years. They are have no fly and ride low on my hips. I love the way that they fit and feel. I'll never go back to boxers or briefs. I call them my panties. Some of them have multi-colored stripes or random patterns and others are plain blue of grey. My wife is super vanilla and there is no way that I could get away with wearing actual women's panties. I'd try it if I could get away with it. https://www.jockey.com/catalog/prod...520ec07b&utm_content=All Products - Catch All
One night a few years ago, we drunkenly confessed we both had a fantasy of BDSM. When we finally talked about it sober, we decided to give it a try. We ended up at an adult toy shop and bought the most generic, beginners BDSM starter kit they had. While shopping, I found a chastity cage and instantly got hard. I showed my wife and she was more confused than anything. We left for our dinner date and she could see I was acting funny. I told her that her reaction made me feel weird and judged and like something was wrong with me. At dinner, she brought it up and started asking questions. Turns out, she just was really confused on what it was. She thought I was supposed to put it on a penetrate her as some sort of pain play. After I explained it, along with some milder fantasies I had involving it, she said to go back and get it. it took a few months to try it on because regular life got in our way and play time was sporadic though. After a year or so of “trying” it, I decided to bring it up and have another conversation about it.
Not really understanding how to be a submissive and a skewed idea of how play time would go, I almost ruined everything. Real life is very different from the videos I’d watch online. So I’d get frustrated that it wasn’t living up to what I had in my head. On top of all that, every time I suggested something new, she would shoot it down because “that just didn’t do it for her.” So I started doing things on my own and then including her and it caused a huge fight. After this, we had a conversation that boiled down to her saying she needed time to get comfortable with things and that if I expected her to leave her comfort zone, I should be ready too. We had a few more conversations and in them, she asked if I wanted more from her. I said “sometimes, I’d really like you to for real be mean and cruel.” Up until this point, our playtime was at most 24 hours. But one day while driving, i said something sarcastic that she didn’t like. She looked at me with a look I’d never seen before and said “ok. I hope you enjoy being locked up when we get home.” After realizing she was serious, I said yes ma’am. Once locked, I gave her the keys. The next morning, she had already left for work when I got up. I went to where she usually put the keys and they weren’t there. I texted her and she video called me and said “I hope it’s comfortable because I’m not sure when you’ll be unlocked.” I laughed and said I knew her and she didn’t like keeping me locked for more than a few hours. She said “I don’t care anymore. If you get a pressure ulcer from it, that’s not my problem. You wanted a cruel bitch so here you go.” Right then I knew this was going to be different