Chastity feelings: "Traditional" theory or So Much More?

Discussion in 'Novices and newbies' started by Headtrip, Jun 20, 2019.

?

Do you feel compelled to please your KH long before you feel the need for release?

  1. No, my need to please my KH is pretty much related to my sexual urges

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  2. Yes, something deeper or not directly tied to sexual urge

    19 vote(s)
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  3. You missed it completely, it is tied to (please post alternate)

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  1. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Long term member

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    Question: Do most of you in Chastity feel drastically different (beholden to your KH, etc..) not long after being locked up? Or does it take a while for the urge to build up? The reason I ask is that many writings on EMC say something like “as the need for release builds up the man will do anything to please the woman” and then “over time the man learns to associate the woman’s orgasm as a substitute for his own”. That may be true (I might be too new to understand) but is NOT the driving factor in my feelings for sure!

    There is a thrill at the sound of the lock, of course, but then a few hours later an urge takes over to be near my GF. I want to touch her, cuddle her, smell her hair, take in her breath, service her, anything. And this happens regardless of how much sex we had just before and with no domination play, etc. For sure my compulsion to please her is NOT for my own sexual release. Something else is happening, that I don’t read about much in the literature. Maybe it is a massive increase of Oxytocin (the “cuddle” hormone) but if so, why?

    And now that my GF is blowing past our “agreed” 7-8 day max (ok, the only formal rule was that she, as the KH, makes the rules, but she sure suckered me into believing it was short term lockups – a whole other thread there!). At day 10 I think I’m bending the bars on my cage and becoming more self centered than I ever was at a day 2. As it happens, I gave her vibrator back last night and afterwards was in a cage match and couldn’t sleep all night until she texted me this morning that she had put it to good use and felt great. Suddenly a peace sweep over me and I fell asleep immediately (that overwhelmed any selfish "what about me" feelings). Why?

    Those are not at all feelings driven by my own drive to release. There seems to be so much more at play here than the “traditional” explanations cited above. My GF agrees – somehow that little cage changes me completely and rapidly. It turns on a me that just doesn’t exist otherwise. Everything after that is “volume and tone control”.

    I have some theories of my own, but first would like to hear if my experience is unique or common?
    Thanks!
     
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  2. CuckeldBull
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    CuckeldBull Long term member

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    You say your GF? I gather she doesn't live with you? Thats a lot of power she has.
     
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  3. madams-sissysub
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    I agree with all you said headtrip!
    And I feel just the same even after all these years of being locked up! Chastity is the best thing we ever did in our Bdsm life style!
    My take on it is that the longer your locked without release the more you realise you are dependant on the person with the key! So the more you desire and crave them!
    Not for just for them to unlock you, but for you to need them to be there, it’s like a version of Stockholm syndrome, (in my opinion anyway) and I feel the same way to about my madam! All I want is to please her and make her happy and know she is satisfied.
    But try not to get to swept away with the WHY to it all, just enjoy WHAT is going on!
    I’ve been a member her for many years and have seen so many others not get the gift of what we have been blessed to receive,
    And I mean no disrespect with that,
    I just mean go with it and as long as your happy, and your GF is happy, and your both enjoying it, run with it!
    Also please feel free to dm me if have any other questions, or just ask here to, ether is cool! And welcome to the club!
     
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  4. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Long term member

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    Thanks for the good advice (and Yes, CuckledBull, it seems to be an extra challenge living apart, especially right now because we both have family in from out of town). As you can tell I am going crazy trying to understand everything instead of just accepting it. My GF and I had a long talk this weekend - a real eye opener - here is the reader's digest version which you might find amusing:

    Turns out, she has been looking into male chastity longer than I have known the term. Didn't think it would work on me because I am not very sub and try to understand everything. So she smiles at me during the talk and says "that's okay honey, it's part of my plan. I now realize that the small part of you that IS sub is hooked, and your logical side doesn't understand. I 'm going slow as you struggle through this 1st phase until you learn to just accept this." Me: "1st phase? This is a 1st phase? Of what!!!" She, smiling bigger now: "See, that is what I mean. You have to understand that I am suffering too, I am learning how to channel my urges while you are learning to let go. And don't worry, I won't punish you for your outbursts right now. We will save the training for one of the later stages. Just know that the minute you figure something out I am going to change it.

    Gulp.
     
  5. CuckeldBull
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    CuckeldBull Long term member

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    Wow! I bet your cage got tight huh?!! LOL
    Well enjoy the ride. Sounds like you should enjoy *most* of it anyway.
    (ifyou wear an arc ring nut holder....really puts em out there for her!
     
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  6. Kylara
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    Kylara Happy feminized sub owned by Mistress PHEBUSA

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    It seems she knows what she is doing, but she don't tell you yet what is the 2nd phase, I'm curious of it too.
     
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  7. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Long term member

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    Yeah, she wound me up pretty tight. Thought I as going to explode. Then, after 2 weeks, she gave me a full release. Pretty sure I did (explode). INcredible! 36 hours later and I am still high. Never said "thank you" more in my life. More amazed than ever at how this little cage changes me.
     
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