Chastity feelings: "Traditional" theory or So Much More?

Question: Do most of you in Chastity feel drastically different (beholden to your KH, etc..) not long after being locked up? Or does it take a while for the urge to build up? The reason I ask is that many writings on EMC say something like “as the need for release builds up the man will do anything to please the woman” and then “over time the man learns to associate the woman’s orgasm as a substitute for his own”. That may be true (I might be too new to understand) but is NOT the driving factor in my feelings for sure!

There is a thrill at the sound of the lock, of course, but then a few hours later an urge takes over to be near my GF. I want to touch her, cuddle her, smell her hair, take in her breath, service her, anything. And this happens regardless of how much sex we had just before and with no domination play, etc. For sure my compulsion to please her is NOT for my own sexual release. Something else is happening, that I don’t read about much in the literature. Maybe it is a massive increase of Oxytocin (the “cuddle” hormone) but if so, why?

And now that my GF is blowing past our “agreed” 7-8 day max (ok, the only formal rule was that she, as the KH, makes the rules, but she sure suckered me into believing it was short term lockups – a whole other thread there!). At day 10 I think I’m bending the bars on my cage and becoming more self centered than I ever was at a day 2. As it happens, I gave her vibrator back last night and afterwards was in a cage match and couldn’t sleep all night until she texted me this morning that she had put it to good use and felt great. Suddenly a peace sweep over me and I fell asleep immediately (that overwhelmed any selfish "what about me" feelings). Why?

Those are not at all feelings driven by my own drive to release. There seems to be so much more at play here than the “traditional” explanations cited above. My GF agrees – somehow that little cage changes me completely and rapidly. It turns on a me that just doesn’t exist otherwise. Everything after that is “volume and tone control”.

I have some theories of my own, but first would like to hear if my experience is unique or common?
Thanks!

 

Thanks for the good advice (and Yes, CuckledBull, it seems to be an extra challenge living apart, especially right now because we both have family in from out of town). As you can tell I am going crazy trying to understand everything instead of just accepting it. My GF and I had a long talk this weekend - a real eye opener - here is the reader's digest version which you might find amusing:

Turns out, she has been looking into male chastity longer than I have known the term. Didn't think it would work on me because I am not very sub and try to understand everything. So she smiles at me during the talk and says "that's okay honey, it's part of my plan. I now realize that the small part of you that IS sub is hooked, and your logical side doesn't understand. I 'm going slow as you struggle through this 1st phase until you learn to just accept this." Me: "1st phase? This is a 1st phase? Of what!!!" She, smiling bigger now: "See, that is what I mean. You have to understand that I am suffering too, I am learning how to channel my urges while you are learning to let go. And don't worry, I won't punish you for your outbursts right now. We will save the training for one of the later stages. Just know that the minute you figure something out I am going to change it.

Gulp.

 

Yeah, she wound me up pretty tight. Thought I as going to explode. Then, after 2 weeks, she gave me a full release. Pretty sure I did (explode). INcredible! 36 hours later and I am still high. Never said "thank you" more in my life. More amazed than ever at how this little cage changes me.