A bit about me

Some general stuff...

I think I read something about chastity belts on one of those erotic stories... it's all a bit blurry, but it blew my mind. It slowly became one of my biggest kinks, if not the biggest one. It's kind of confusing, right? To feel excited when you are *denied*? Maybe it's the contradiction that makes it exciting... or maybe it's the feeling of being under control. Hard to say sometimes!

I toyed with these games a couple of years ago, but it was nothing 'serious'. Last year, though...

For most of last year I used to play with an online friend. She "held my key" (not literally, since she lived very far away and we didn't want to have any accidents) and basically controlled when was I allowed to get out of my belt. It was fun, really fun! It started pretty slowly (just a week!), but I eventually started being locked up for longer and longer... well, I say "locked up" but in fact I should say "teased and denied": one thing she liked to do was to tell me to play with myself and get to the edge... and that was it. Often more than once every night, of course. It was so humiliating, but at the same time so exciting!

She'd make me spank myself, she'd make me beg for more time in chastity, she'd make me tease myself until I couldn't bear it anymore - and then she'd just tell me to lock myself up again. I remember how frustrated, but at the same time how excited I was when after my longest time in chastity, a hundred days, she teased me for what felt like hours - and then she made me ruin my orgasm.

Good times... *blushes*

Right now? Well, I have a CB3000 at home, but I am not playing with anyone at the moment. Sometimes it's hard to find the right person! And given that there are usually a *lot* more of subbies than dommes, it's just normal!

 

Thank you, Mistress Michelle!

Let's see, a bit more...

Although I really like to dress up (when I have clothes to do so!), and although humiliation is definitely one of my biggest kinks... the "sissy clothes" aren't something I like. You know the kind I mean - silky pink dresses, too frilly, too overdone... dunno. Not my thing, like I say.
The thing is, that friend I played with last year really liked french maid outfits. A lot, actually! It was a really big turn on for her - but she understood that it wasn't my thing, normally.

So - she'd encourage my feminization, and she'd suggest clothes that she knew I'd like. She'd make me describe her how I felt about wearing those clothes, and... well, laugh a little at me. It's a bit complicated sometimes, but I suppose many people here can relate - there are some mixed feelings regarding feminization, and although the clothes can feel great, they can make you feel pretty ashamed sometimes. And, at the same time, it is that shame, that humiliation, that can make you feel really tingly.
She'd use that to her advantage, of course. She was pretty clever about it, too. Of course it always starts with something as small as "from now on I want you to wear panties everyday. That way you will think of me constantly".

I am lucky enough I live on my own, so that means once I'm back home, I can basically do as I please. That was something she really liked too, of course - because it meant that whenever I chatted with her, I could wear something feminine. Just so I felt like her girl, her sissy like she'd sometimes say. Of course, since no-one could see me, that would also mean that whenever I started to chat with her (and whenever she wanted, actually) I could curtsey. She really had a big laugh everytime I did that, the same way she'd laugh when she knew I was on my knees spanking myself just because she said so.
Of course, since I live on my own and no-one could see me, she eventually asked me to sleep wearing nighties - just so even in bed I would only think about her. And not long after that, I would have to be dressed like a girl as soon as I came home and had a shower, after work - because she liked to know I was doing that.

This kind of relationships are all about trust - I could pretty much be lying to her all the time, I could just wear my regular clothes or masturbate every couple of hours... but it wouldn't be worth it. It wouldn't be fun, and it wouldn't be fair. I'd rather wear those clothes, I'd rather do as she said and I'd rather keep my chastity belt locked - because I knew she enjoyed knowing I was feeling like this. In the end it's about trust and wanting to give the other what he or she wants.
(except, sometimes, an orgasm. but that's a different story)

Why did I mention the sissy clothing before? Well... because, of course, at some point I bought a french maid uniform. It wasn't anything too special, and at least it wasn't pink or something like that - but it was enough to make her smile and smile all that night, when I sent her the first pic as a "surprise". And I was really happy because I knew I was pleasing her.
And then she said something like "I knew you were my sissy all along", and suddenly, for some reason, my belt felt a lot tighter than usual... *blushes*

Thankfully, she knew that this kind of outfit was basically "my limit" - more than that and I wouldn't have any kind of fun, I'd just feel shame. That? Just enough! What I really don't know is how she managed to make me beg for a week more in chastity in exchange for wearing that maid outfit whenever I cleaned my home. I mean, a week more in chastity was bad - but wearing that from then on? That was even worse!!

It was really fun, last year. Too bad we grew apart and stopped playing together, but I suppose in time I will find someone who wants to keep me all frustrated and humiliated again