In Ms Lori's interesting site, in the section http://www.chastitytube.com/letters.html there are some interesting questions posed. One survey from one respondent has the following: Q: When you are allowed to, how many ejaculations do you have or are you allowed to ejaculate? A: Just once Q: What does that ejaculation feel like - is it better to wait a long time or not? Is it worth ejaculating at all or is it better to just stay muzzled? A: The pleasure of the orgasm and the emotional release leave me feeling pretty satisfied. I think to be completely at peace I'd need a second or third orgasm later that day but that never happens. The climax is definitely worth it. What do others think about this, especially after a long lock up? Recently I got "just once" and realised what a huge difference it makes: a very strong desire to come again quickly followed by an intense feeling of frustration that is taking a long time to subside. It's going to make the chastity period much harder I think.!
My GF is leaving me unlocked for 2 weeks after a 30 day lockup. I was having 1-2 a day for the first 3-4 days after release and they felt great. Before going back into lockup I probably will have her give me ruined orgasms and I do feel it might be a rough week or so once caged again though only time will tell. I did notice it took about 24 hours after release before feeling back to normal again (The regular hard-ons and such). It is going to be sweet torture again within about a week from now and am planning for another month in the cage. Originally I had only been locked for 7-8 days max. Well I sure plan to enjoy this last week as much as I can.
When I agreed to make male chastity part of our marriage, I had done quite a lot of reading on the psychology behind it, and was able to identify my husband as one of those for whom denial is itself fulfilling. So when we began January 1 of this year (2014) I sat him down and explained that I would not do this as a 'game' because he clearly needed me to take it very seriously. I explained that he might get an orgasm every few months but that he would never know when or if it was going to happen. I locked his device, and since then have unlocked him every three days for cleaning, which I do, and then some fondling to get him fully erect, then cool down with time and/or ice if needed, then back in and locked. I finally took him to completion July 1st, but took my hand away just as he was about to ejaculate and ruined it so his cum just oozed out and he had no orgasm. I cleaned him up and re-locked him. I am planning to wait at least to the 1-year anniversary of his chastity to allow a proper orgasm, as everything I read, and all the dommes I consulted, agreed that for a true sub who craves control, he needed to know this was not role playing but was a permanent change in our relationship. He has come to me, twice, with reservations about "this whole chastity thing", but each time I have gotten angry with him, used my lexan paddle hard on him, and told him there is no going back. I very much like how our marriage is different now, and there is far less pressure on me to do anything I don't want to do. I love him very much, so I am doing what is best for us.
This has varied as the chastity continues. The first time (a month) I was allowed to have three orgasms before stopping again. I found the second better than the first and the third 'normal'. The amount of orgasms following the chastity periods have diminished though and are far less satisfying. My next orgasm will be ruined and that will be it until the next (unknown) release date. I find the anticipation far more exciting than the orgasm...which is always over far too quickly.
well....he may not agree that he is 'lucky'.....this has gone far past what he had intended, and he didn't realize that I might like it more than he, and that's how it has played out. He will be allowed full orgasm at some point, but honestly with how easy he is to manage and control when in chastity, I don't know why on earth I would ever go back, or why other women don't use this as well.
@LauraHines , sounds like you know your stuff . I think you are the epitomy of the phrase "be careful what you wish for" . Your husband is lucky indeed whether he knows it or not.
ineverknew, I am not sure I know my stuff so well, but I certainly have done the research and understand what drives submissive men who enjoy chastity. It's not that he doesn't derive pleasure from what we do, as he is almost desperately eager to perform oral on me and various other delights, and his distended and stretched cage would indicate he likes what he's doing. It's just that I think he thought that it would be 'sexier' than it actually is, to have no orgasms or have them ruined. And yes, I do use my fingers or a dildo to milk his prostate and make sure his system is 'flowing' but no, I have no interest in it 'spurting' again. We're done with the kids, all grown and gone, and frankly, having him as my masseur, chef and cuddler is all I need. So to all those men on here who think this is their ideal, I do warn you: some of us women will like it more than you thought, and your fantasy will become a reality you are in for the rest of your lives. How many of you really believe you could go a full year without orgasm, except in fantasy? I know my husband fantasized it, but the reality is different. Fortunate for me, and maybe not so for him, although he complains less and less now and seems resigned to where we are. I also have the Points of Intrigue in as part of his device, and that helps, a lot, in maintaining his focus!
@LauraHines , yes fantasy and reality are very different. Personally IMO I think men can go very long periods without orgasms as long as their keyholder makes sure they are teased and looked after properly. I havent been into chastity long enough to know but thats what I wish to believe . Also I think any man will have a hard time going the long distance in the beginning because we are so preoccupied with our penis's. Once we are resigned to the fact that there is more to life then our penis it will probably be easier. My biggest fear is that my wife will lock me up and forget about me as we both have very busy lives and three young children to take care of yet, but so far things have been going well. Thanks for sharing.
@LauraHines Wow what an amazing set of posts and how much sense and understanding of how this all works. Xx Wendy