Finally Experiencing Chastity with a Caring and loving Partner.

A summary of chastity journey with my Ex-wife, why we divorce and what I enjoy now with my loving and caring partner. pleasure to be locked for someone who appreciate it. The intimacy the connection it create.

It also another experience of a man that sometime can dominate in the bedroom (i'm clearly dominant in career, sport competition martial art) in kinky party yet enjoy / have a need to be weak / share vulnerability with someone i can trust.

have a good reading - might be a bit long ...

The beginning


I discover chastity while my ex-wife in 2018 decided to stop intimacy with me ... she avoid all intimate moment falling asleep in front of the tv instead of me ... no sex. every cuddle and tender were rejected while I saw how tender she could be w/ my kids. I have been crying regularly at night trying to understand what was happening and research sexless mariage etc ... then found FLR and then chastity ... the kinky aspect of me gave me a break and i first secretly buy a knock off HT pink ... I was so hard ... i really enjoy for the first time until i could remember having an erection (Can I even remember that ? ) having by dick restrain ... what a mindfuck !! i try the first night get the typical challenge of the nocturnal erection. trying not to wake up my ex while just wondering when my boner is gonna stop and release my ball sack ... my max duration was 3 days ... i could not stop getting the key and masturbate.


Sharing with my Ex-Wife

Since i’m very bad at hiding stuff. she one day told me to avoid putting my dildo expose of the maid ... I didnt get that she refer to the cage. I then shamely explain what it was and say that since she is pissed with me I was hoping she could kept me locked until I meet her expectation and as a reward get unlock ... she pause but say we don’t play together don’t have fun and as such she doesn’t want to play with my dick. that was hard for me ... but its just pilling up another appointment towards the one I loved with devotion and who change w/o any explanation.



First time my ex-wife took the key:

I kept wearing on and off for 2 or 3 day the cage and ordered different one until the original HTV3 Small that was fitting like a glove. On summer I was to go back in the US while we are from europe. I asked her if she could keep the key so then I would be force to wait until she is back which is 3 weeks. We spend a lovely time at a market / shopping and as she was relax without the kids in the middle, I asked her. she wonder why, i was obviously shamefull and not very confortable, she asked : did you or planning to cheat on me ? i was shocked with that I have for 15 years been loyal. then she ask but then why ? and I said ... unprepared well it looks like a cat that bring a dead bird to its master ... its a proof of love and something precious even if the master dont always understand. she smile and say ok and we cuddle. I was so happy.

the next day when bring to the airport I locked myself before going in the car and kiss quickly and give her the key but she was not happy , rather angry ( i didnt understand why since we talk about it the day before - and this has been one more hurt over our history) she take the key and throw it in the glove compartment i forget what was her exact complain but i was again hurt and board to the flight ... I didn't had any arousal thought for 3 weeks just because of the reminder of how akward this has been ... that the cage was a bad souvenir but had no other choice that to keep 3 weeks locked. when she arrived in US she didnt seems to be happy to be back and first thing when she arrived home was to give me the key ... pretty desalinating and disappointed i felt so alone.


Another approach on key holding

After this I read book on how to introduce properly I went on KIK and get with the community so I could be supported on this. I started to be much more oriented on what in it for her. trying to desociate my kink from her interest and try to focus my behavior modification when self lock to her. what could make her happy etc ...


I put a letter to her with the key saying that I understand penetration was always an issue and source of stress (even thought when we meet in 2004 she was one of the most sex active partner and I had a lot before we meet) and we might want to explore another sexuality. Giving the opportunity to please her in a different way saying that I disgust myself to masturbate in front of porn ... I wanted to be a better husband and father and I just asking her to keep the key for me and She has nothing else to do. no burden I would never brought the topic but remain available if she have question.


she took the key say she was a bit shocked that sexuality was removed from the equation (which surprise me since we had less than 1 PIV a year for the last 3 years). but she keep the key.

on my side I promiss to me to never argue, and focus my frustration and horniness toward being a good husband. I did lot of sport as well where thinner, and relationship went so much better.


she accept my touch my massage ( i notice after 5days of being lock she usually come closer in the bed) she actually started to be tactile ... enjoy my hand ... touching her was so releasing and arousing at the same time I was so hard ... naked and caged in the bed ... she enjoy all my touch that was almost paradise ... I experience wet dream at day 50 ... stop porn, it was one of my best sexual souvenir ... like a none stop foreplay ... every night was face down and my body started to understand it was pointless to get hard ... my inner body started without penile stimulation to become hot and pulse of pleasure was invading me ... I had touch free / spontaneous orgasm ... squirting along my legs ...


On the relationship they were good and bad ... i though not arguing was a real improvement we were much closer but still for reason beyond my control we could not spend more than 15 days happy without something had to be bad especially 3 days before her cycle and @ days 15. I started to have a journal to understand how thing escalate what was the trigger.

I just notice it was always external factor and whatever I do they were no consistency. The more I help the more she leverage her complain. I noticed how difficult she was to be pleased. I talk to flr woman and see the difference in smartness and consistency ...

@ 90 days I started to shrink in my cage, I freak out ... I saw as well I was emotionnaly unstable and I cant afford that. I have a very demanding job and is the only one working and ask the key


I saw how fight / argument was hard during the chastity : Alone emotionally in the bed, I could not take distance by masturbating... i didnt want to be cage in this moment but was so afraid to ask the key since she might not take it afterward ... I really experience in the moment the real forced chastity ... but for some reason the next day when issue is gone it was making me so f... horny.


the divorce

After a while I realized regardless how hard I would tried on my ex-wife i would be never be successful to have, the one I loved so much, happy.


I said after the covid that I felt we were doing much better that I wanted to have a vasectomy so if she felt to go back PIV they were no concern : she just blow me again with ... I found our relation unsatisfactory and don’t do the vasectomy divorced man might regret it ... it was better said but the message was this one.


I realized i was doing the same than my father ... Entertaining an unsatisfying woman ... who were playing emotional castration, emotional roller coaster (blowing a very very little of happiness to keep me motivated follow by cold / unjustified strike / comment). She had internal conflict that with 3 therapist was not getting out (she always quit the therapy)


So I filled a divorce. one of the most painful aspect of my life. the one I marry for life our future our retirement plan were just blown ... (I might put a comment on castration emotional since this is for me a red flag that many submissive man should detect to have an healthy D/S or quality play with her partner mistress etc ...).


The Reborn

After being alone in foreign country while my child and ex-wife in europe. I was really alone and instead of doing what I use to do ... (extreme sport) I started to join the kink community. Since I felt the need to be w/ people not to blow a fuse. This community today had been very helpfull. every week @ munch at party thru talk NO BS no weather discussion only real discussion/real talk. It was so freeing. so much social interaction. I kept locked since I didnt know what to do and found it boost my physical activity and increase constructive activity. I started FEMDOM group and found a partner who enjoy spanking me and she was very good with powerfull stroke. She make me moaning and begging to stop for 2 hours non stop ... she enjoy teasing and denial as well she enjoy sucking me for 45 min / 1 hour non stop ... looks like I recover from 15 years of frustration.

i enjoy it so much but reach a point i wanted to top a female and spank. I had after maybe 10 to 15 hours of my ass being red ... a good understanding of emotion.



The unexpected

Upon a munch I found an elegant Lady who were very welcoming and we started to email after the munch and they were a click. We could not stop sharing and discussing. I shared my divorce she shared that she waited retirement to truly admit she has wanted to be spanked etc ... we were both emotionally impacted by each other life.


We agree that at the next party i would spank her ... her profile was indicating submissive.

we talk so much that i was worry my imagination project more than reality. being freshly divorce im still emotionnaly weak but when we meet again it was clear something was happening between us. I share previously that with someone with her class and our quality discussion i found spanking very gross and i wanted to have a romantic date ... due to other circumstances we could not do otherwise.


i was in cage when i spanked her but we were so intimate by the conversation since the beginning i asked if i could hold her in my arm ... it was like an implosion so much relief for both of us. She enjoy the mix of sensuality and brutality that reveal to be my brand style when topping female.


My dominance unveil


Upon this play we agree to have a romantic play home ... it missed her so much and was so frustrated we started by a spanking while i found i could control my entire body in a so much sensuality. I was still self cage ... and wonder if i should keep it, talk about it but I cared so much of this visit that i put my kink aside but put the cage in a place she can only see it.


For some reason the alchemy turn out that our play went very brutal ... my dominance get sparkled and i felt she was attracting me to her submission each moment were pulling me for more and more : i end up spitting on her face while fucking her and face slap badly while mixing sensuality. I stop the play myself, i was afraid we were going too far she was having breathing irregularity that i interpreted as being scared to death and screaming upon face slap received ... I never thought i could be so hard on a woman but i found it felt right. we cuddle a very long time emotion and unspoken thing pass thru.


I though after 20Y of being emotionally emasculated I though I would maybe not be able to get hard ... the next play turn out to be even worst : Mix sex, with very hard spanking, flogging such an aggressivity we fucked from 3pm to 10pm ... fall asleep in the middle cuddle and raw fuck and repeat ...


I decided I was done w/ chastity shit ... I’m a man i’m fucking dominant in real life as much as in the bed room. I can take the lead and fuck a woman as they rarely get. in the mean time I have other play with other woman that confirm this. But we keep having an extra feeling with what I will call in the future My LADY


My Submissive LADY caged me the next 3 Month such a mind fuck


The 3rd time we meet home some life event made the play not operational. I was ready to ravage her and dominate her so badly she would be a piece of meat ... but her mind wasn't there, so I didn't initiate anything. I instead let her talk, she had a lot to share and I was carefully listening and felt reassured I could switch gear, listen to her and recomfort her. She give me a nice BJ and then initiate the conversation about chastity. She knew about female but not about Man.


So I explained, and then proposed to show her the cage. she was very attentive, after fact she might had something in mind from the beginning but being able to talk about my kink so freely was exciting. I just say "you want to see how to put it ?" she node and we were on the sofa. I show how the ball go first then the shaft then the tube. the screw then show the key and say :” you see know i’m fucked up !! “ like an idiot I say (we were Wednesday) "you want the key ?" she say "are you sure ?" I was saying sure I can be locked 90 day we meet sunday no issue. She was mentionning how important it mean for her. I was surprise and say sure no prb we were to play again sunday.


But after i kiss her and she left home ... I feel fucked ... she had other play the next day with other man ... and I feel so much fucked ... i was about to be dominant and get my manhood with other female play lined up with other girl and she was with other man and I was locked.The asymetrie of the situation was hard to swallow ... I was jealous ... but I kept quiet not to complain like a baby after day 1 but clearly it had an emotional impact ... the next day when I share all this to her she felt so sorry that she didn't realized etc ... but as we speak and say that’s ok I didnt expect either. She then started to say she enjoyed I felt all this emotion, she mentioned she enjoyed having my key ... and this really fuck me up big time ... it wasnt the natural evolution ... I was in expansion / exploratory with other woman and now felt going backward ... also being caught by surprise.


But I enjoy the Lady I care (vs other casual player) was keeping me locked ... She is typically unlocking me only when she want to make me come or orgasm (which were almost every week end when we meet). I was still spanking and caning her and if she unlocked me she would have a hard fuck. I believe she enjoy to have a hard strong male ready to go at her fingerprint dedicated for her.


She regularly since she is a true caregiver worry of my health and easy to propose to unlocked me. I had to expand and share what it mean for me to be locked. the main motivation for me is I have spend so many year masturbating I dont know how to ejaculate from PIV and BJ etc ... I wanted to re-educate that and be used to my partner giving me orgasm. she understand. we went thru more days locked. but mainly 1 week at max. because we both enjoy a good fuck. She continuously felt worry to arm me emotionally or to loose me because the potential resentment i could experience by locking me. so I share that, realy my penis became a burden ... i didnt know what to do with it self masturbating make me feel like a looser ... it has no purpose making me alone in an one way street. and then her keeping me locked would make me happy, felt cared and loved. she understood and make some effort to change / re-calibrate her initial perception.


Since I have to go to europe to see my kids we try chastity on honor and I hate it ... just frustration and nothing else. I realised the erection deprivation was powerfull ... really powerfull for me. the next trip to europe I stay locked for 20 days. but the big difference w/ my ex-wife is I have someone who loved, cared and cherished me. She is teasing me by text and face call while I could freely communicate my desire. Since she is holding me we agree I would be very transparent and share everything the good and the bad to help her being assertive and not unintentionnaly damage me and/or us. Those extended locking period started for me to be very erotic and arousing I started to share some fantasm ... I admit I crave to suck dick, to be dominated, i enjoyed her power, I even share the sissy fantaisy ... which for me was a very huge step ... I realised I was then going from” lock me to feel loved” to “please push me down to some dark fantaisy” My Lady were amazed with the emotionnal behind all this sharing. a simple cage was opening a so much mind sharing. I felt safe and welcome in the darked fantazy shared, she was creating such a safe heaven.


She is as intellectual as I am we enjoy talking like 2 puppy going all around the place. She witness my change in sexuality, my closeness, and increase libido hormonal boost from the cage / no orgasm.


I ask permission to ride a dildo. I could buy one openly, compare to all my secret attempt in my previous mariage, I wear string and felt my body nice with it. I share I would love to be pegged ... and as always My Lady is open and willing to please. I had sometime the feeling to live the erotica novel i crave when in my previous mariage, what a change ... everything can be discussed and shared. we bought an harness and she fuck me. she share she wanted to cane me but was so worry to hurt me cane arrived but not used.


One day on my return from europe and the realization that my family in law ignore me for X-mas hurt me a lot. my mind change and I ask her if she can unlocked me. for the first time in 3 month I could really touch my dick. it felt good and aroused - i realised I have a nice dick and it so good to stroke it ... I felt powerfull again


My LADY get abused when Unlocked


the next three month has transition to “my Lady” to “my fucking slut”. As soon as she unlocked me she saw how my behavior changed. I started to be hard and explore her submissive aspect : we play hard, she brought a collar we attempt to write a contract, I forced her to drool with a gag then on my dick for 45 min without stop, she is claustrophobic so I really freaked her out ... she was pushed so hard. I tied her, spit on her face again, regularly hard canning her ... like a fucking bastard ... force her to suck me on public toilet, on the car ... I enjoyed she felt used, abused and we even done CNC with cold ass raped where she was close to be crying beging to stop for 20 min in a row while I just enjoy her pain and kept sodomizing her.


Yes ... very inappropriate on the CM blog but I wanted here to bring a different variety / testimony of male behavior toward chastity. My behavior was not revenge. the cage for 3 month was just pausing this dominance building up and upon removing the chastity it came back.


I also in this 3 month have to mention that I struggle with the brutality and it came progressively with a lot of talking. She know that if I was causing an emotional damage it would be devastating for me. I’m the first one to help here standing up, holding the door ensuring she is find but when play start it can be brutal. We have been reading some BDSM book, spend time cuddling and talking about fantasy. She know I deeply respect and love her and I felt the same from her side. We are enjoying something very special. She is able to advise on parenting, career, emotion ... she was a manager of big company and i’m currently the same. she has the wisdom of being much older than me. I have the energy of a male in its 40’s full of energy. Our extreme play are poping up here and there when we dont expect surrounding by respect and love.



Needed to go back in Chastity ...


Despite all of this I recently 3 weeks ago I asked her to cage me again ... I wanted to be weak in front of her, to depend on her ... to be bossed. I wanted to experience what I did to her. to feel emasculated ... I also didnt like to dominate her too much or at least too long. I like parity : her being my equal, may be balancing role making me realizing that (even if I know) My Lady is very respectable and by virtually castrating me along with my dominant behaviour making me sorry for all the abuse I did to her even thought they has been no other abused than the one she was craving to experience and was consented). And on that note I felt toping can also be exhausting it is a lot of energy and attention to give on the partner.

Regardless I was shocked, she was shocked ... she and I though the chastity was an aftermath of my previous relation ... and completely ill.


so this is what I will be exploring the upcoming weeks ... I will be holding a journal and will post the link after once started.

NOTE : My Lady read this, this journal purpose is to share transparently how I feel so she can adjust and understand how I am. When we discussed how to make this journal I thought sharing to CM community would be interesting. Maybe comment would make us grow and questioned ourselves. re-reading might help us to either understand thing or re-Live the experience latter --> She found it enthusiastic !


Cheers to all and have a good day.

 

What lead to change in the dynamics


One day While I was pushing her out of her confort zone (she is really elegant and refined Lady - she fear being exposed) I instructing her to be on doggy style on an hotel stood facing the windows while I put the light on and open the curtain so as anyone could see she get fucked like a whore and then started hard fuck with the underlying scenario that she was a prostitute thinking that it’s fun to go on luxurious hotel but tonight she had a hard client (typical mindfuck of both of us or maybe mine I give you that) I could see how strong I could be on her body unable to control her gasp, her position ... the next day she brush my face with so much tender and love she make me cry ...


I could not initially understood. It never happen to me (even those I had regularly spank woman until they cry in my arms I just know when I do that they needed it I don’t do that as a sadist but as giving them what they wanted - and they all thanks for for that with blushing nice email even after sub drop) This time it wasn’t hard but quite the opposite and she ask me if I wanted to share : I had this vision of a new born and the love of her primary care ( mother). I felt she had in the moment the gesture along with the intention all in one that I felt never received. physical Tenderness with true love.


I felt I could be a little boy in front of her without shame, without social pressure to need to be someone else, without the need to prove anything ... just be me and be loved for what I am ... I guess I reconciled writing that few days latter, things I could not explain so clearly on the moment : Moving from “I need to please” to “I am who I am and still can be loved ..”.


While I though I was done crying my head still on her knee my eyes fix the windows where I was watching me the previous day destroying her like a bastard, out of breath with her both holes sore for maybe few days ... how can a powerful man maybe be a little sadistic at time and little boy craving for love be one person with another one playing the dirty prostitute yesterday and being a love giver holding me in her arms like I was a broken birds ... it really move me can I be both ? can I be seen this way by my lady ? Apparently yes ...and I was crying again.


On the same WE : For some reason i felt depleted dominating. Some discussion went into who get what out of the play, and some misunderstanding came and perception was: I was pushing her for her pleasure while she thought she was suffering as a gift to me. we eventually put thing straight that even if she felt disturbed / embarrassed to admit she get aroused from being devaluated / objectified and I enjoyed pushing her to her shame full side.


They were some truth in in it. I never buy her : “I indulge to your fantasy”, “I’ll do it for you” something wasn't quite right, i smell it, i feel it and I don’t let this BS infiltrating the relationship ... I wasn't egoistly using her body and soul to my satisfaction at all, I feel she need to go thru those territory and I wanted her to admit she enjoy what she struggle to admit.


The big difference is “you don't do it for me like a gift” but “You are comfortable with me / trusting me enough to free up and be treated to a place it arouse as much as it disturb you” just face it and don’t deny it. You are wettering from being used and abused, you enjoy that so much to be dominated and more than overpowered And yes I fucking enjoy mindfucking you, scaring you. I felt getting emotionally intimately very close to you. I felt holding your hand with kindness and safety while going thru this exploratory journey with you. It does nurture me. it is real satisfaction to have such an intimate / transparent relation that I never ever had or even dream would be possible.


I’m not sure if those anecdote were the trigger, I was also on Party topping other female, yes they really enjoy my style and yes my ego get pleased, I was successful but it’s exhausting ... It is exhausting, topping take to me energy ... i wanted attention, I wanted the pressure to perform, to please, to prove out of the spotlight, ... I wanted to not be a strong man ... to have the one I love being strong for me, for her, for both of us.


I wanted to be weak, vulnerable, i wanted to be the little boy and still be loved for that. I wanted as well to receive the gift / the privilege to be dominated

 

KH - The challenge of different character and Expectation


I believe my lady understand i want to submit and she want to please me, trying her best to offer me what I want. But she is a caregiver at core who have been conditioned from society, previous marriage and also 100’s of erotic literature where submissive character get conquer by dominant male. Please a man and by all mean not damaging his ego.


I’m sure it must be terribly difficult to switch gear and for her to give either pain or enforce something that would be hard on me. And I want to be pushed, to be hurt, to kneel and submit. I know the theory to top from bottom but more importantly the stress I’m putting on her by expecting her to read me and fight her instinct of submissive and caring especially on the one who was beating the shit out of her few days ago ...


While I was playing with the cage (We have a Vault she can close at distance) and when I caged myself put my back up key in the box ... this time she caught me and close the box ... what a good start !!! I was wondering weather yes or no I want to be cage ... well that a yes.


I thanks her for that ... I needed it ... I propose she kept me lock until I get a lower weight and it was great. she told me while 95kg to be <91kg 2 day in a row then I will be unlocked. It was very arousing and constructive but also matching her core value (she kept me caged for my own good making me a better self)


But the challenge to be pushed by someone willing to please me and be so nice is not an easy one and I worry it create some tension along the path ... I enjoy when she take the lead but as example the Week end they were a kinky party and she proposed me to be unlocked which kind of disappoint me ...We have talked several time that, my turn on / what I enjoyed is being enforced and I was not meeting the 91kg rule yet she proposed to unlock me. And also kind of keep having a conversation of releasing while I just didn’t ask anything ... it did annoy me ... I was wondering : Would I had anytime the chance to beg for a release and get a No ? I felt she took any occasion to unlock me and I end up like asking to be kept locked which is make me feeling stupid and lonely not being understood. I told in this word how I felt.


My word hurt her for sure but along the line ... I also wonder if it is reasonable to expect to be bossed by a submissive mindset. this gave some sort of anxiety ... what would be my option should My lady couldn't give me that. Should I be “condemned” to top her exclusively ? Getting this dominance from someone else .. that’s sucks ... getting dominated by the one you love is so much better. I’m trying to put on her shoes ... If she was asking me to mute a symbol of her feminity ... would I have the gut to keep doing that ? without questioning myself about what am i doing / representing for her ? Wouldn't I felt doing something completely against my value ? I love woman, I admire them and cherish them. Some might say : “well you have been so disrespectful already when dominating her ...” but this is one intense moment follow by lot of tender and re-connection. I never felt bad. But if my action was 24/7 for weeks ... causing emotionnal change ... I might worry ... I get that. Being a KH might raise a lot of question ... Man might only see there own interest.


While I was having all those question sunday arrived full of surprise (My Lady has lot of resource) : she came home for few days before I flight to EU. I was so happy to see her, to cuddle and for some reason when the discussion came to cage, She said “you stay locked”. I was testing if she was serious or would be weak and ask if tonight I can get out ? She reply with a self-confidence, a calm “NO” . Nothing else that the determination that I wont be locked out no matter what ...


t was such a turn on to see and feel her will, her authority. I clearly saw that I had hurt her yesterday underlying that her way to KH wasn’t what I wanted. I have been in this corner before when toping and you feel your partner dispapointed: it hurt and you feel a piece of shit. I’m not sure if her reply was tented with anger against herself to desapoint me but regardless her reply was extremely arousing for me and that was the beginning.


Latter that night I end up cuddling (I was caged for 10 days) and craving to go down on her. which I did with so much more romance than usual. When in front of her pussy she stop me. and say “No”. I was wondering WTF ?!! “if you lick you’ll have 5 hard caning” ... what a shock for me ... what an arousing to be told, be threaten ... I paused ... kissing her very close along her inside tight. As I just can’t stop being myself (bratty) start cleverly asking if lips was very licking per definition while my lips were touching her clit ... she immediatly pull out. “ok” she said while getting out of the bed, she took the cane, and give me a pillow that i was placing on my face until instructed “No babe, under you hips”. ” OMG ... Seriously ?” I said. "Ass up like that ? humiliating ?” but I was so hard in my cage.


Such a erotic moment for me to be bossed ... the cane she bought 4 month ago is finaly landing on my ass ... I got no power no penis no leadership and I enjoy this so much ...i found caning reinforcing her leadership.


We regularly questioned ourselves : if her kink to felt devalorised and afraid to be dropped or left / rejected then being love by reconnecting after play, why not getting love in the first place then ? ... why pain ? ... but now being under her previous role just now, I guess I had my reply. Submitting wasn't a word anymore but an act that would be very unlikely to deny : Naked, bend over, cane mark and penis forced behind my leg at her decision ... it would have been impossible to denied should any external people enter the room, what happen : The “I can explain ...” wouldn’t flight. She was in charge not only was I willingly to be her submissive but she took the leadership ... and as the cane pain increase the fundation, power exchange get stronger. I was picturing myself accepting my fate, with a mix pleasure and shame ... all both making me so hard in my cage and so greatfull and devoted for my Lady


Accepting cane strike feeling like a slut was mindfucking, the role reversal was exquise. And I apologize for the machism but as a social norm woman being submissive seems so much more natural than a man .. or maybe the pressure and unconsciously my role as a man leading ... the power exchange and picturing myself ass up, the strike coupled by being caged was for me total submission ... I’m not sure if she realize how much I enjoyed it, how much I loved it, how much I needed ... To still feel loved while experiencing the humiliation emotion. I was not the strong man any longer ... i was her toy ... I enter sort of mind space of obedience


The night was so asphyxiating, I was so aroused and then she brough chastity erotica book we read together. Such a good idea ... She really rock !!! We were reading arousing male submission book together while my ass was burning, my hormone of desire ultra high ... trying to process what just happen ... so hard and so close to her. being able to be myself ... such a great moment.


She is truly capable to give me what i needed ... she could be strong on me when she wanted ... I was so grateful, so grateful from all my heart.


If you read those line My Lady ... thank you so much I love you.

 

Thank you so much @BavarianWoman for reading and being open minded. I realize how unusual this sharing can be for the community. I just felt the need to share my journey I felt chastity so complex base on the angle and way to practice. domination, emotionnal connection etc ...

Share also toxic relationship vs loving and nurturing one. DS in a loving relationship is so much better. Also wanted to share you can like dominating and yet having the need to change role.

How chastity had changing angle over time, self devalorisation then now like a reborn to be accepted even with this feeling ... to have an healthier life style etc ...

 

thanks for reading and being open minded.
kind regards

 

The rush of D/S relationship ... experiencing being a her Slut ...



The next day, still caged, she stayed home while I was home working and mid afternoon I take her in my arm while we lay on the bed, so much closeness, I felt discovering her body for the first time. I felt like a teenager touching my Gf for the first time, so fresh so erotic ... the breast I use to squeeze until she scream were brush over the bra ... so much erotism while I was almost crying of my desire and incapacity / frustration. LIke ice cream over the sun ... I was craving her body, kissing her all over she really heat up her body when I started to be between her legs she end up orgasming by my tongue why she only does w/ a vibro for the last 6 month and we fall asleep together. Moment like that worth gold. we both had a click on this devotion growing.


I think she touched really how chastity change a man and the relationship. Woman are so responsive to love cuddle and maybe pheromone (I notice even if with My ex it was great then every time I self lock and she didnt know after 5 day she was coming close and enjoy cuddling ... she had no other way to fill it ...)



She felt the rush of devotion ... I share how I enjoyed being caned, how much it reinforce her dominance. We agree that regular canning would be good in this dynamic. Few hours latter it was time to go outside. she came by surprise a cane on her hand and told me : drop your pants ... the windows was with curtain off and full view from walking people ... anyway ... I drop the pant, she pushed me on the kitchen board like I use to do to her ... she pushed me to bend me over until my head was on the board (to be in an embarrassing position) and get caned ... (just thinking of it make me hard) - so much turn on - the process to be in embarrassing position is a mindfuck as well ... it reinforce, highlight, remind me or having to accept how on voluntary basis, I am a submissive which contradict so much with how I have been fighting in my life, my career to be a Man inspiring respect and success. I was certainly not doing all the link i’m explaining now at the given time ... I was just aroused and was diving on the shamefull side I was looking for in this D/S relationship and took my caning like a fucking bitch (I want to say I am).


In the car with my ass burning. trying to process what just happen ... locked full of desire with a bit of shame : I ask her is this just happened ? did I get disciplined before going shopping ? she reply amused “I guess so ...” we hold our hand together we were both so happy.

 

The Pivotal role of the KH : Giving an Orgasm or pushing her male chaste longer.


To please me She unlocked me putting me on the edge of the bed while she kneel and with one hand grabing all my ball and pulling so as I felt like CBT and the other grip my shaft firmly. she stroked me and suck me I was looking at it like a spectacle, my flat belly (Yeah I look weight) by dick fully erected appearing big in comparaison of her litle hand and filling her mouth more than she can handle ... She “suck me for the kill” after enjoying herself sucking me ... she just accelerate and finish me off. I had no other option but to shoot in her mouth. she enjoy her full mouth of my load.


Great orgasm and when I ask should I get cage again ? she said : Yes baby “you need to be caged” such a turn on. but then, I didnt felt the desire anymore. I didn’t crave to call her my Lady As I was 30 min ago I was feeling like faking it. I didn't “need her body” any longer. The day before walking naked in front of her was arousing to me ( kind of CFNM) while I felt inappropriate. I think she felt it. and then We briefly talk about it.


When I orgasmed, prolactin kick and kill all the beauty of devotion. Just a 30 sec or 1 min spasm and ejaculation is killing days of arousal (those chastity day could be call foreplay ...) When aroused, reading erotic book with her it felt almost like being stroked ... permanent arousal, full body heating up, erogene zone building up ... if she let me cum she would end all this. That’s sad but from my experience and many testimony a man will be in refractory period after an orgasm ... it kill everything.


I felt the mindfuck again of the need to be kept chaste for longer (2 x 10 days is clearly not equivalent to 1 x 20 day in a row of chastity). I also see how the Keyholder could have such a leverage and pivotal role deciding to push her male chaste for extended period of time and how it benefit both : the affectionate behaviour of her male, the emotional bond both benefit, the male attachment to his keyholder, the gratitude of her male to be kept locked while alone he would end up masturbating or missing the beauty to practice chastity with the one he love.


I felt how denial was crucial ... a man would enjoy a) having an orgasm or b) staying locked. if getting a) he quite the game and might be resentful after orgasm maybe he was release too early / too easily b) game stay on ... more long term benefit for both, more behaviour modification, more devotion like diving deeper into all of this, increasing the power exchange and intimacy. How the male would be having conflicting feeling to want something he might regret ... but yet geniusly want to ejaculate ... and as such how this decision given to his KH away from his decision was important.


I also see how denying male request for an orgasm was an inherent part of the Chastity game. How releasing a man too early, too easily could ruin the experience for the both of them. I felt it was key for the KH to realize this component, be aware what is happening behind the scene. To be able to push it with conviction and enforce the chastity while it could be conflicting for a submissive mindset or a caring personnality to appear at surface a sadistic asshole ...