Hi all, this is my first post other than an introduction. I thought I would share some thoughts and plans. I think it is interesting that a forum like this seems to inspire us to share things we might not tell those close to us. But like I said, here is my deal. I have a problem with masturbation. I have been reading enough posts here to know I am not the only guy here who feels that way. I am in my late 50's, been married for 33 years. I love my wife, but it has gotten to the point I can't get it up for her. Sex is soooooo boring. I can make myself feel much better than she can do for me. And besides that, I have been into BDSM (mostly as a sub) since before I was married, and of course she doesn't know the whole story. She is not into that at all, it is like a joke she does not get. And besides that, I have been unfaithful a couple of time, and she doesn't know that whole story either. And she doesn't trust me. Wonder why. Men are scum So I want to have the "conversation" with her, but I know it would go bad, very bad. I can imagine it. Me: "Honey, I want you to make me wear a chastity device for you." Her: "How did you ever hear about that? Are you cheating on me? Are you looking at porn and jerking off? I am so hurt. I want a divorce" Any Mistresses or keyholders out there, please comment, this is for real, and I would like to hear from you. Anyway, I am getting a device and have many fantasies about how it will work. I decided on a birdlocked classic, I think it is a work of art. It seems some of you guys think they are great, and some of you guys think they are worthless. It seems like the key is how well it fits. I hope mine will fit well. I travel all week for work. So my fantasy is to leave the key at work, so I cannot get it and release myself to jerk off at night in the hotel. Then to take it off before I return home, having prevented any "unauthorized" masturbation during the week. Well, I will post back here and let you all know if it works out for me. I am supposed to get it in about two weeks. Like I said, you Mistresses and keyholders, please write me back and share your thoughts. Thanks.
Your story is very touching, and very familiar. It is repeated over and over on these boards. When I first started posting online, I had hoped to convince some women to at least think about giving domination and orgasm control a try. For years jamie begged and pleaded for me to dominate him, and have affairs with other men. (He never wanted orgasm control, I keep him locked 14/7 for my pleasure and his training.) My mind was absolutely closed and would not even consider doing something so "sinful." When I look back and think of all the sexual and emotional satisfaction I was missing out on I could cry and/or scream. Being threatened with a divorce forced me to do some serious soul searching. If I was going to be "liberated" by a divorce I would have to make all my own decisions, be solely responsible for my life, earn a living, date and create a social and sexual life. Wouldn't it be just as easy, or easier, to keep jamie and liberate myself? He would be able to stay with me, provide for me, do chores for me, and in exchange I could dominate him sexually--which I learned did not necessarily include having sex with him. I would be free to date and have sex with whomever I wanted, and perhaps if some man were willing, he would one day get to live out his fantasy of watching me have sex with another man. In the meantime I could certainly flaunt my sexuality in front of him. It was awkward at first, and we ended up taking it to a much greater extreme, but we've both never been happier. So if your wife does get to the point where she wants a divorce, my advice would be to ask her: If you're willing to go through the trials and tribulations of a divorce, why can't you just lock me up? It would be so much easier, and then you would know I'm not cheating. If you find it impossible to include your wife, I hope you will give yourself permission to have a rich and satisfying fantasy life. Give yourself permission to enjoy your orgasms. Make yourself earn them by staying locked for a certain number of days (roll dice, cut cards or try an online random number generator). It's not a sin to experience your life to the fullest; if there is such a thing as a sin, I would think that living life lovelessly would qualify. Love yourself, enjoy yourself and be happy! Best of luck. p.s. If you only have a fantasy life, I highly recommend buying an "artificial vagina" or "masturbation sleeve." I bought one for jamie on the first anniversary of my cuckolding him. He positively loves it. Of course he has not had a real pussy in two and a half years, and probably never will, but still he says it has many advantages especially because of his small penis. He can "bury" his cock in his fake cunt, which he cannot do in a real one, and the opening is very small so it is actually tight around him. Not even a teenage virgin's twat would be tight around his little twig. p.p.s. For our second anniversary I bought him a silicone sex doll (illustrated below). Not some cheapy blow-up joke, this babe cost over $6k US. She has a fuckable mouth, pussy and anus. Her arms and legs are bendable so she can sit with jamie, ride with jamie, sleep with jamie. Our anniversary was back in January but he still hasn't been able to have sex with her. (We let him make out with her on one side of my bed while Frank and I fuck on the other. It's a hoot!) One day soon; I'm sure he'll tell you all about it.
Just wanted to add my thanks to Mistress Angelique for taking the time and interest to reply to my post. I did get a little laugh too. I already have a rich fantasy life, and I enjoy my orgasms intently. And we are all looking forward to your or jamie's further posts about things. Love the doll, and cuckhold scenario. Thanks again