I'm an older guy who has discovered his feminine side and I wish to pursue it further. My wife seems to not be interested in improving our sex life. I wear lingerie under my male clothes daily, which my wife knows about, but does not support. I'm thinking that, my volunteering to wear a chastity device may be enough to spur her interest in improving our sex life, which has faded away of late. She knows that I masturbate frequently and, at least when I'm locked up, she'll know that I'm not doing that any more. I also feel that, being locked in a cage will enhance my feminine feelings that I enjoy so much. This can really be a win-win situation and I fully understand that, when I relinquish control over my body, she will be in full command. I have ordered a chastity cage online and am awaiting delivery. I plan to experiment with putting it on and getting accustomed to its fit and feel before approaching her about the idea. That way, if I really hate it when on, I can simply abandon the idea and go on about life. But, I am very hopeful that this might be a way to spice things up a bit and to get us communicating about sexual matters once again. (At least, we'll be able to to discuss the device and how her having the only key will give her complete control over me, body & soul.) In reading the many great posts on this forum, I have concluded that most people here are serious about chastity and denial and I've been able to pick up some good tips so far. But, I also hear a lot of "be careful what you ask for!" advice and now I have new concerns that I may be opening Pandora's box, so to speak. Any advice or suggestions that you may give me about how to begin my journey will be greatly appreciated! You guys and gals have 'been there, done that' and I'm sure that your tips will be very helpful. Thnaks in advance/
hello sissywannabe and welcome to this website, where I hope that you get all the information that you require. I think that the first thing you need to do is talk to your wife, and explain to her what you have written down here. And you might never know her response. But I am thinking that she is happy that you are taking care of yourself just as long as you don't look for sex from her. What do you think.
Thanks for the reply Spider. I think that you have hit the nail on the head - " just as long as you don't look for sex from her"! That greatly simplifies a more complex relationship in which we have difficulty talking openly with each other about sexual matters. She prefers to let sleeping dogs lie and I am getting tired of having to masturbate all the time to find a release. I'm hopeful that perhaps giving her exclusive control of my libido in more than a symbolic way will get her more involved. Before making that one-sided commitment, though, I feel that I should better understand how chastity devices work and know what I'm getting into - literally and figuratively. What do you think of the approach of me trying the cage on and thus being more knowledgeable before suggesting something to her that may completely backfire on me? Users Who Have Read This Thread (Total: 11)
I did the same thing. And felt the same issues with my wife. Sex life was totally routine, same way, same place kinda wham bam thank you ma'am kinda affair. Took a year to work up nerve to discuss this with my wife. Her response was complete indifference. Best thing I found was explaining how Im a submissive and just want to serve and worship her. She still doesn't understand what that means. My advice is yes work out what type of device you are most comfortable with, get used to wearing it, then have a frank honest talk with her. Explain what your feeling, what your expectations and hopes are, and be prepared to be shot down with this idea
Thanks Kidkrippler! Since we've been through the issue of my wearing lingerie and have progressed somewhat in the 2 years since then, I feel that the door is at least partially open to a discussion of chastity, Right now, I am anticipating getting my cage and trying it on for the first time and making sure that it fits and is not unreasonably uncomfortable. Then, I'll take my time to work up the nerve and find a way to introduce the chastity concept. Thanks for your advice. SissyWannabe
My wife was vanilla, I've always been the kinky one. I think she has always thought I was nuts. Last summer she power-read all 3 shades of grey books and the doors of the lifestyle were thrown open for her. She understands me much better now, she enjoys my submissive (in the bedroom) behavior, and she's thrilled about her power over me. We are much happier together now than we were a year ago. Maybe print out "being a keyholder" from tickleberry. (Google it). There is a nice vanilla explanation of the whole deal.
Hi sissywannabe. just my two cents worth based on my marriage which has ended partially due to my kinks but mainly due to my not involving my wife in the development of my interests resulting in her thinking my perversions were preferred to to a sexual relationship with her instead of the enhancement that it should be. So don't go too far ahead without involving her perhaps you need to discuss your chastity kink with her before you go too far with it because trust me playing solo is not where you want to go with this Good luck hope it goes well for you.
Another great book is "A woman's guide to male chastity". I bought it for my wife and that is what kinda opened the door for the conversation. Very well written and doesn't have that "scare off" quality about it.
Hi mate, To be honest you already know instinctively how she'll react. What you require is courage, and that doesn't come cheap. Either do it, or don't, there is no try. How important is this? Does it transcend you as a whole. Before I was married I told me Wife while driving on a busy motorway that I like stuff in my butt. I explanned why, how long I'd done it for and why I liked it; we now use a double dido with each other. And she loves it. Why??? Trust. If she trusts your choices, she'll be there. Jay.