Ann left for a long weekend, so she made sure I put my cage on before she left. It’s only been 24 hours, and I already can’t wait until she comes home in 3 more days, if for nothing else than for her to let me hold her and pleasure her in any way she desires, even if she would like to lay on my chest while I stroke her back and gently run my fingers through her hair at random until she sleeps. Keeping me caged nearly all the time has been the best thing she has ever done for the two of us. Sure it was a very slow start for her at first to adjust to, that it is ok for her to take control of our intimacy to meet what she needs and not me. Over the last few years she has learned to control our sex lives to meet what she needs, really it’s what we both need. Once a wife who is keeping her husband locked up gets over her guilt of hurting him, the whole new role begins to benefit her husband and equally satisfy herself. All the wife needs to do is keep him locked but let him know he isn’t forgotten. The easiest way for a wife to keep her husband from NOT feeling forgotten is to tease him a little sexually a couple of times a day or as much as she likes; wives don’t understand that keeping a man in chastity turned on is satisfying for him. Wives can use words or memes, whatever works to keep him wanting. Do this, and you can leave him locked for as long as you need to without trying to read his mind when you should let him out. What most men don’t realize/understand is we, nearly 100% of the time, screw anything sexual for ourselves. I do not doubt if Ann had left me uncaged for her trip, I would have already masturbated in less than 24 hours and would have followed suit every day that she was gone, totally destroying our relationship as an intimate husband and wife. If she left me free upon her coming home, she would deserve a husband who misses her in every way and greets her. If I were free, undoubtedly, I would be dulled down from masturbating. I would be cheating not just her but myself as well. Now!! that I totally understand this. I need her to keep me in chastity and save me/us from my natural male destruction, for no better way to put it. I see men commenting in blogs saying that there is no way they would let a woman put them in chastity. LOL, they are afraid of change, and I would be surprised if they were NOT surprised at how much their relationship improved if they try it for a minimum of two weeks. It isn’t easy for most men to become vulnerable in their own minds to their wives when it comes to sex. However, the jokes are on them because what husband isn’t at the mercy of his wife for sex? We men want, and she doesn’t want as much. So why not go ahead and physically give control to the wife? (she already has control, but most likely, most husbands and wives haven’t recognized she is already in control from the distraction of the stress from him pushing for sex and her needing a few more nights before she is in the mood). Just convince her of your seriousness by letting her see that you are locked and that only she can control the key. I enjoy pleasing her without my own release as much as if I get a release. Should I get a release, then my pleasure is zapped in very little time, and I want to go to sleep. If I am denied my release, I will hold Ann for way over an hour as she goes to sleep long before I do, and I will love every second of holding her as a loving husband should be....... Wives, know this: If you make him pleasure you and then afterward, when you are satisfied, let him know you need to lay on his chest and probably fall asleep. You have just tripled the already good feeling endorphin he will get by holding you now as you settle and go to sleep. Yes, he will be over the top physically horny. Still, the length of time he is held awake from his horniness is far outweighed by getting to hold you knowing he has satisfied you sexually and now holding you making you feel safe and enjoying his touch as he settles down and eventually finds his own sleep. His next day of work will be filled with thinking about you and completely wanting to do that all over again with you. I explained this craziness to Ann, half of me wants out and half of me doesn’t, I equally crave both. I will never tell her no, I don’t want out, but I need her to leave me caged for her until she wants me out of the cage, and I need to accept that, which I have, and I am happy for this decision. We both say we can’t imagine going back to what they call vanilla, but truthfully, we are still very vanilla. Chastity helps us feel there is still always something new to our intimacy, and so far, after a few years, it has never gone cold like so many other couples. Next time you go out, look at couples in their 40s and 50s or older. You can tell how emotionally connected they are. You will see way more disconnected couples than connected. I don’t ever want to be disconnected from Ann. What a waste that would be. My 2cents worth
Well said. John, and from the length of that post I suspect you needed an outlet for all those feeling caged up inside you. I know that feeling well!
Great post. All of this is so true! When my DOMME has me pleasure her and she reaches her amazing orgaism, I feel it through me and I feel, in an odd way, as if I had one too. After, I usually stay at her waist level always below her head for as long as she wants afterward.
I normally don't read such long posts, but this one kept my attention the whole way through... Everything you said in it is all true and spot on accurate. Bravo!
Wonderful post @John&Ann -- you really nailed the role staying locked has in enhancing marital intimacy and the destructiveness of a husband's masturbation to that desire for intimacy. I'm sure Ann will be anxious to be held and be close to you when she gets home. Good man.
Nailed it. I actually just posted some thoughts relating to the comments you're seeing online. I personally think that many men are turned off by all the kinkery around chastity. If there were more "vanilla" voices speaking about actual male chastity in a marriage, I believe the adoption would be greater. I mean it's simple maths, who wouldn't want to practice something that both produces rewards to the brain while removing unhealthy addiction, making your relationship stronger and unfucking the brain from all the short term gratification we've been drawn in? Chastity is literally a straight path towards marital and financial success. It's a true life hack.
What a great post, so many good observations. The only thing I'd change is that to really find out what male chastity can do for a relationship is after the initial "getting a cage to fit" stage, to try wearing it for at least a whole month, preferably more. Two weeks and you're still in the "horny" stage, if you can last a month or two you'll reach "understanding" and "continual contentment". But then, we don't want to scare people off before they've even started, do we? It can be a difficult journey to reach that last stage. That's why Loctober is such a success!
Terrific post. The power of the emotional connection, the mental D/s, is really the heart of the matter.